It was just an afternoon. I was just lying in bed. But I thought about school tomorrow and things swirled around my head, I went deaf to the music, and it went bad quickly. I couldn't make it one day clean. It's getting out of hand. I just need to remember to turn to music instead of blades, but when it's late and no one's up, I can't do anything. I guess I really do need an IPod. (Or at school, that's dangerous too.)

I really am trying, and I'm afraid of myself. There's something wrong with me.

.-.
Well. Things were looking up.
And then they went back down :c

My best friend is pretty much ignoring me, for what reasons I have no idea. I think she's mad at me. And then I'm messing up life with a lot of my other friends by letting them get to close. I can't let anyone close. Distance..... I need distance.

BLARGH. so many small things that really add up .-.

i feel you.

Yap.....
and then the awkward moment when your brother's old best friend is a better friend then your best friend and you realize it's been like that for a while .-.

hey, i don't like you
you don't like me either
but we're in the same class
deal with it please.
NOW TURN AROUND AND SHUT UP.
thanks!

Why did you pass out? What was in the service?

YAY!

Do you have an MP3 or something? A lot of things work, even an old phone.
Don't think about school. Unless you have something to deal with on that day.
And you're going to high school, right? You'll be leaving them soon.

Am I the only one who hates it when a certain person wants you to come over or to come over to your house EVERY SINGLE DAY?

Just wondering.

Yes. I have experienced that several times.

idk, just something i felt like saying (P.S. The Game)
 

it's been like a week since my mom mentioned therapy
when she was told that i cut and starve myself, the conversation lasted like a minute and was never mentioned again
when she asked if i was suicidal, also never mentioned
the day after she made me eat dinner (shortly after i threatened to stop eating), she told me/possibly joked about how i eat too much—also not mentioned
when i did 'go' to 'therapy' that one time, when the therapist asked my parents what they wanted out of therapy, my dad said, like, "i guess, i just want him to be happy." my mom said, "i want him to be less angry and more a part of the family."
wtf
ugh
i think the next time she tells me i eat too much maybe i should stop what i'm doing, throw my food away, tell her to fuck off, then audibly make myself vomit hahaha. (and then when/if she stops bugging me make food \o/)

i'm all for rebellion against your shitty parents as long as it doesn't involve harming yourself.
*huggles* are you going to therapy again?