| lvhamsters |
07-17-2013 08:37 PM |
Stupid life. Just when I think it's starting to get bigger it takes on this huge gigantic drop. My problems have increased. By huge predicaments. My biggest one? I freaking owe my mom $600 dollars. Apparently when you use the internet on your phone it costs $1.99 per minute. WTF. How the hell am I supposed to get that money?! I can't get a job! I'm too young. And not only that, but I'm not going to be able to afford to go skating anymore. Skating is my everything. It's the only place I go once a week where I can let out all of my anger with speed and hitting people with brooms and I can just be alone and away from my freaking family. And since it's summer? The only place I can hang out with my friends at. Especially since my phone has been taken away and I can't contact my friends very easily e.o And another of my gigantic problems? My mom and dad both want to move. They don't understand what that would be like for me. To move away from all of my friends. My best friend I've had for 12 years now. It may not seem like a problem to them, and really, what does? They don't care, and believe me, I'm not biased when I say this. They really don't. They think moving will help with my attitude and the fact that my dad's never home. well let me tell them something. My dad is never home, and he will never be. No matter where we go, he's only going to be home at most one or two days a week. Can't get away from it. My mom says she can't take care of us alone. She should have thought of that before she married. Cold of me right? No, just the truth. Why accept a job like that when you know you're going to have kids and you're never going to see them. I don't even consider him my dad. Just some dude that visits once a week. Other than that, there's dozens of tiny problems. I just kind of want to explode from everything. In a way, I already did. Everything is getting to me. Even my brother's regular nasty comments. I'm filled with self hatred. Especially when I see my best friend. She came over a while ago and she is super freaking skinny. Not even kidding. She's a twig. And I'm jealous. So I promised myself I will get that skinny, if not skinnier c: I'm doing pretty good so far, too. Lost five pounds so far c: But really, I disgust myself. I am now going to vent at my hate on myself. Please, please, please ignore this. I just need to write it out somewhere. I would write it in my journal but I lost it. Okay. I hate myself. I'm fat and ugly and the worst part is my personality. I can't freaking talk to anyone. That's why I don't have many friends. I can talk online but once it's in person? The conversation goes plop. I'm too shy. Everyone else is outgoing and happy and fun and stuff and then there's my all quiet and sitting in my corner. They were right about me too. I am 'depressed' and I am 'emo'. I guess what they were saying about me influenced my actions too. Before they began saying that, I wasn't at all. But after they started? Things went downhill. I got called more names. I was labeled as 'weird' and 'freak'. But can't avoid that can I? I mean, it's true. I am weird. I embrace my weirdness. Wish other people could, too. But the only thing I did to get called those names was I was constantly writing and I occasionally wore a dark t-shirt. What's wrong with that..... really? People are weird e.o Ugh.
Mmk c: I'm done here.... somewhat :P I'm sorry if you read through all of that O.O I am really really sorry. And I'm sorry that I vented so much. Needed to release this e.o I've been releasing it in bad ways recently and I need that to stop. K. Well.... o.o
~scuttles off awkwardly~ I really hate to vent on here DX So many other people who have more serious problems :c But you guys are the only one's who help me. I can't tell my friends any of this..... thanks guys <3
~sprints away~
|
