The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Leloo 05-30-2012 05:01 PM

Oh, and about Charlie: In my opinion, that's totally okay. He's your character; you created him to be the perfect friend for Amber. And you know you love your book and the characters in it when you want to hang out with them. I know I've wished that I could create the perfect best friend, throw in all the traits I want and leave out the bad ones. Life would be so simple, and less lonely, wouldn't it?

MaryElizabeth 05-30-2012 05:05 PM

Ecstatic
 
I feel really proud of my current book. I think that it's going to end well. :^B

Leloo 05-30-2012 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 291548)
I feel really proud of my current book. I think that it's going to end well. :^B

*high fives* Yes, yes it shall. ^.^

05-30-2012 05:12 PM

Excited, Happy, Eager, etc.
 
I really like "See You Soon", now that I put it on video and everything. I'm hoping to come up with the piano music soon. :D Usually, I sound HORRIBLE on video; it makes my voice sound really weird, talking or singing. But I would feel really good about sending that in. ^.^

The only thing I'm semi-meh about is the fact that if I made it, me and Mom would have to move to L.A for three/four months. I would like to go to the Open Call in L.A, but I don't want to put too much stress on Mom. I mean, I think Mom is more excited than I am, but I don't know. It'd be a dream come true, but for some reason I think my friends would get mad if I told them I was moving. O_O I know, I'm weird. I come up with "What Ifs" as my preacher would say, and that's what stops me from doing alot of things I love. But not anymore. I am not going to let myself fade into the background any more. This is my turn; my chance. Hey...that would make a good song! XD

I kinda regret wanting to audition for Season 3, because that's SO. FAR. AWAY. Plus, I don't really want my Freshman year of highschool to be in L.A......even if I could take online classes.

I don't know why I'm writing this....*fades away*

wildwolf 05-30-2012 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 291543)
o_o Feel free to ignore this.


-__- I don't know what's wrong with me.

I WANT to write. But...I just can't focus. At all. I write one sentence, and then my brain just gives up. And I hate it. I hate how I can't think of synonyms and can't organize my ideas and can't get the words to come out right and can't write dialogue.

This whole numbness thing has been hanging over my head for months, but it suddenly got worse about a month ago, right when all this stress piled up on me. I think that's it...this whole huge family issue has made doing anything feel like it's totally useless. I can't seem to cook food right anymore. I don't
clean as much as I used to. I can't seem to enjoy my favorite songs. Nothing tastes good. Nothing sounds fun. All I want to do is curl up on the couch with someone I care about (though I don't know exactly who that person would be) and cry for a little bit, then go to sleep for a year. I KNOW if I can just cry it out, I'll feel better, but...I just...can't. I'm too steeled over. Too numb. Too apathetic of everything. And yet, I want it to stop. I've tried everything I can think of, but nothing works. I can't bring myself to be anything but numb
or outraged or horribly lonely. And that means I can't write, because I can't describe the emotions my characters are feeling if I don't feel them myself.

...And you know what? Through it all, every time I feel lonely, there's only one person I seem to want to be with. And...it makes no sense to me at all. I want to be with my character Charlie when I'm feeling lonesome. Not my friends, not my family. They really haven't been able to help me. A lot of them just made it worse. All I want is to hang out with Char for a while...vent a little bit, then watch some movies together, maybe go on a bike ride or a walk, then curl up on the couch together and go on a YouTube music spree. I don't know why that's the first thing my brain comes up with when I'm
feeling lonely, because I know all of that is totally impossible...but.....I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore...

Ash, you're lonely.
You want a friend.
Not an Internet friend, or your father, or an adult friend, you want a friend your age that you can talk to and trust.
This is a bit farfetched, but I think your subconscious wants a boyfriend.
Or a friend-friend.

TheAshWolf 05-30-2012 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leloo (Post 291545)
I don't know what you've been going through with your family, but it sounds like you're just really, really stressed. Don't try to write anymore Just take a nice, long break. In fact, treat yourself to some relaxation time when it comes to cleaning and cooking as well. You're not useless or pathetic; you're just exhausted. And I think it will affect your writing (and everything else) if you try to force it. It could be hormones as well, though I don't know much about those, only that they drive you up a wall most of the time. X_x Or maybe it's just "one of those days." I've felt the same way before, and it comes and goes. Find something new and fun to do for yourself to keep your spirits up and keep you occupied. It'll pass, I'm sure. Hang in there. :^)

Thanks, Leloo... <:^J That actually helped me. I AM exhausted. And you're right; forcing it will impact my writing. I'm going to just relax for a few days. (Y'know, despite all the cleaning and cooking I hate to do. XD It's not optional. I don't have siblings in my house to pass the buck to, unfortunately.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leloo (Post 291546)
Oh, and about Charlie: In my opinion, that's totally okay. He's your character; you created him to be the perfect friend for Amber. And you know you love your book and the characters in it when you want to hang out with them. I know I've wished that I could create the perfect best friend, throw in all the traits I want and leave out the bad ones. Life would be so simple, and less lonely, wouldn't it?

0_0 That makes sense.....heh, yeah, I'd love to be able to conjure up a friend like I conjure up characters. XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 291558)
Ash, you're lonely.
You want a friend.
Not an Internet friend, or your father, or an adult friend, you want a friend your age that you can talk to and trust.
This is a bit farfetched, but I think your subconscious wants a boyfriend.
Or a friend-friend.

Yeah, I think that's a large part of it, too...older friends are nice, but sometimes you just need to have someone your own age who's going through the same things you are. I mean, my older friends give me comfort and advice, but so much of it just doesn't help me because the world has changed since they were my age.

...o_o *blinks* .................... I sure hope not. *nervous lol* <:^D My subconscious is already messed up. The last thing I need is it pushing me towards that. *thinks for a moment* I've always been a lot farther ahead in maturity than most people my age...O_O and I'm not trying the brag; I'm just stating the obvious. I learned how to deal with death waaaay before most little kids do. I read books that were way beyond my reading level, which must've impacted my view on the world. And I have to admit, I often wish I wasn't so mature. I miss being an ignorant kid. But.....but even with my weird subconscious and crazy maturity level, I couldn't be wanting a boyfriend already. I'm too young. Way too young. It's just....no. I can't. e_o

Friend-friend? o_O Mind defining that for me? XD *le stupid moi*

wildwolf 05-30-2012 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 291585)
Yeah, I think that's a large part of it, too...older friends are nice, but sometimes you just need to have someone your own age who's going through the same things you are. I mean, my older friends give me comfort and advice, but so much of it just doesn't help me because the world has changed since they were my age.

...o_o *blinks* .................... I sure hope not. *nervous lol* <:^D My subconscious is already messed up. The last thing I need is it pushing me towards that. *thinks for a moment* I've always been a lot farther ahead in maturity than most people my age...O_O and I'm not trying the brag; I'm just stating the obvious. I learned how to deal with death waaaay before most little kids do. I read books that were way beyond my reading level, which must've impacted my view on the world. And I have to admit, I often wish I wasn't so mature. I miss being an ignorant kid. But.....but even with my weird subconscious and crazy maturity level, I couldn't be wanting a boyfriend already. I'm too young. Way too young. It's just....no. I can't. e_o

Friend-friend? o_O Mind defining that for me? XD *le stupid moi*

You just need a friend that you can talk to, I suppose.

Meh. You just need a friend that is not on the computer. Go be social! GOOO! GOOO

TheAshWolf 05-30-2012 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 291589)
You just need a friend that you can talk to, I suppose.

Meh. You just need a friend that is not on the computer. Go be social! GOOO! GOOO

But I only know two people I could be close friends with! x_x One keeps blowing me off for this other girl...and we're practically polar opposites. And the other girl is only 12, but she's really mature for her age...meh, I don't know. She DOES like the Hunger Games...and we have a lot in common...I just don't see her all that much.

WolfWriter 05-30-2012 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 291543)
o_o Feel free to ignore this.


-__- I don't know what's wrong with me.

I WANT to write. But...I just can't focus. At all. I write one sentence, and then my brain just gives up. And I hate it. I hate how I can't think of synonyms and can't organize my ideas and can't get the words to come out right and can't write dialogue.

This whole numbness thing has been hanging over my head for months, but it suddenly got worse about a month ago, right when all this stress piled up on me. I think that's it...this whole huge family issue has made doing anything feel like it's totally useless. I can't seem to cook food right anymore. I don't clean as much as I used to. I can't seem to enjoy my favorite songs. Nothing tastes good. Nothing sounds fun. All I want to do is curl up on the couch with someone I care about (though I don't know exactly who that person would be) and cry for a little bit, then go to sleep for a year. I KNOW if I can just cry it out, I'll feel better, but...I just...can't. I'm too steeled over. Too numb. Too apathetic of everything. And yet, I want it to stop. I've tried everything I can think of, but nothing works. I can't bring myself to be anything but numb or outraged or horribly lonely. And that means I can't write, because I can't describe the emotions my characters are feeling if I don't feel them myself.

...And you know what? Through it all, every time I feel lonely, there's only one person I seem to want to be with. And...it makes no sense to me at all. I want to be with my character Charlie when I'm feeling lonesome. Not my friends, not my family. They really haven't been able to help me. A lot of them just made it worse. All I want is to hang out with Char for a while...vent a little bit, then watch some movies together, maybe go on a bike ride or a walk, then curl up on the couch together and go on a YouTube music spree. I don't know why that's the first thing my brain comes up with when I'm feeling lonely, because I know all of that is totally impossible...but.....I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore...

I know how you feel. And I'm sorry that there's someone in the world--you--who is experiencing this. I really, truely am. I'm so sorry, Ash. You can't distract yourself anymore, can you? That's how it felt when I was going through that, at any rate. Just...alone.

I agree with Camille. You need to make some not-Internet friends. It's hard when you don't go to a public school or whatever, or don't go to a youth group, or don't participate in sports. Just search around a be a part of ANYTHING you find vaguely interesting. Join a club. Take a group lesson. Go to a summer camp. Just hang out with some people your age, and be yourself, because you're amazing. And don't worry about wanting to hang out with Charlie. Psychologically, it makes sense, though I do worry when I talk to my characters in my head because a therapist I went to, like, once, said that that was really abnormal. Meh. Screw them xD I don't need a doctorate to say that you're fine. You're stressed and alone, so you turn to the one entity/persona that you've developed and created until they're as real as anyone else. If it makes you feel better, who cares?

I'd also like to say that when I was alone, I considered suicide seriously. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID. The only thing that saved me was Christ Jesus. Oh God...that was such a scary time. But now...I can never feel alone, knowing that there was Someone who thought I was worth dying for and who was nailed to a hunk of wood to bleed to death just because He thought I was worth His love. Praying for you :D Always

rebecca 05-31-2012 01:02 AM

Ash, I have no idea. I can't resolve anything but my own problems, and I cannot even do that. Follow the good advice of other people, not the destructive advice of me.


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