Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 407423)

Dude, you are not allowed to effing die. >_>
None of you are. EVER!
I'm kidding, we all have to die someday. But it'd great if you could postpone the date a little, you know what it does to the traffic.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 407456)

If I die, Cheeze and Emma and Rebecca and Lauren would know from my Facebook.

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 407200)

You are important, Lily. You're very important. You've helped so many of us on just WB alone, and you are our friend. It would matter to us if something happened to you.

Originally Posted by DragonRider (Post 407377)

How did I just see this now?
Lily, you are so important to so many people, even if you don't realize it. It would take me YEARS to get over if you did, as I think everyone else you know would. You are NOT clingy. *hugs*
Don't, Lily. Please. *hugs some more* You are awesometastical person. Seriously. It is hard to compete with your awesomeness. *doesn't stop hugging*

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 407460)

Thank you and thanks to anyone else who responded.

Originally Posted by DragonRider (Post 407468)

No problem. We're all here for you.

Also, could you tell Litzy I ninja'd her friend request? I SENT IT FIRST. *evil laugh* ^_^

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 407131)

I wonder how we'd know if one of us died.

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 407395)

Mostly when people who are active online die, their friends or relatives use their online accounts to deliver the news.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 407458)

Other than Facebook, the only way you'd know is if i committed suicide and post my suicide note.

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 407131)

I wonder how we'd know if one of us died.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407708)

so walking is apparently better for depression than meds are
i don't walk much since its hard to, here
i just tried to go on a walk during the warmest part of the day, which was right before sunset
it was still 45 F, which is pretty freaking COLD if you're used to constant 80+ weather like me
i was out for about 40 minutes
and i feel like this right now:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwziwefzb91qegw8v.gif

darn it, heater, work better...

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407708)

so walking is apparently better for depression than meds are
i don't walk much since its hard to, here
i just tried to go on a walk during the warmest part of the day, which was right before sunset
it was still 45 F, which is pretty freaking COLD if you're used to constant 80+ weather like me
i was out for about 40 minutes
and i feel like this right now:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwziwefzb91qegw8v.gif

darn it, heater, work better...

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407708)

so walking is apparently better for depression than meds are
i don't walk much since its hard to, here
i just tried to go on a walk during the warmest part of the day, which was right before sunset
it was still 45 F, which is pretty freaking COLD if you're used to constant 80+ weather like me
i was out for about 40 minutes
and i feel like this right now:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwziwefzb91qegw8v.gif

darn it, heater, work better...

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 407720)

wait… are you on vacation or something?
and why are you not using capital letters?
and are you depressed right now? D:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 407723)

and, no, I haven't seen Kay in quite a while…

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 407730)

45 is cold?! Oh gosh, how I wish it was 45... You're in one of the states that got hit by the cold front, didn't you?

Originally Posted by Jesse (Post 407732)

We're gonna get negative eight degrees soon. :/

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407742)

yep. x_x



O_O Holy mother of sanity...

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 407746)

Be thankful that it's not in the single digits...

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407748)

trust me, i am. O_O

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 407750)

So, besides being cold, how are you?

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407754)

...

i'm broken.
they broke me.
(not like crushed broken, or like a broken horse or whatever, but like...pushed a wind-up toy off a table broken.)
that's why i've been acting so strange.
that's why i go from angry to apathetic to depressed in minutes.
i thought i was fixed, yesterday, since i actually felt happy.
now i feel bad again.
...
.....
........meh.
i think i just need a hug. cyber hugs are nice and all, but i feel like i need a real hug.
but there's no one to hug.
._.
then again, a hug might not help...i seriously feel like the song Lonely right now.

bleh.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407756)

meh, i don't know. mixed feelings.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407738)

what? no, i went back to school on tuesday. this is just what the desert i live in is like. bleeping hot in the summer, bleeping cold in the winter (even though it doesn't last very long). it's been getting to be 23 F at night, actually, which hasn't happened since the 80s. all the non-native plants are all either dead or badly damaged from the nightly frost, too...which doesn't help my mood...TREE HUGGER, HERE...derp.

i'm surprised you noticed i wasn't using caps. 0_0 meh, my fingers were numb at first, so i didn't bother with the caps or shift key. now i'm just being lazy and kinda apathetic.

yeah, i've been depressed all day long. the walk actually helped, though. also my dog is comforting me. (he went on the walk, too...gosh, he cracks me up...he totally didn't notice this random cat until we were five feet away from it, and he just went crazy...haha....)



:^/ That's what I figured.
Crap, now I'm worried. D:
I had this dream last night....SIX dreams, actually, all with the same theme...hearts. In each dream, I either (a) I needed an artificial heart, and had to go to this creepy clinic place to learn about and choose which procedure to have done, (b) I already had my heart removed and an artificial one put in, but they wouldn't tell me what they did with my heart once they removed it, so I had to search through this creepy hospital to find it, or (c) someone stole my heart (think Once Upon a Time) and I needed to go find them and steal it back. e_o I seriously woke up after every dream and felt my pulse to make sure I actually still had my heart.
MY POINT: All this creepy random heart business reminded me of Kay. Since, y'know, she's been having all those heart problems and might need a new one in the near future.

Meh. Imma go send her another message.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407754)

...

i'm broken.
they broke me.
(not like crushed broken, or like a broken horse or whatever, but like...pushed a wind-up toy off a table broken.)
that's why i've been acting so strange.
that's why i go from angry to apathetic to depressed in minutes.
i thought i was fixed, yesterday, since i actually felt happy.
now i feel bad again.
...
.....
........meh.
i think i just need a hug. cyber hugs are nice and all, but i feel like i need a real hug.
but there's no one to hug.
._.
then again, a hug might not help...i seriously feel like the song Lonely right now.

bleh.

Originally Posted by christinamoore (Post 407777)

I am frustrated.
First, I arrive back at school last night to a freezing room and no hot water.
Second, I realized I forgot to pack towels, soap and my Pajamas.
Third, I read my syllabi today and I'm like freaking out with all of the reading...
I'm in a literature class on top of two intro classes, a history class and a presentations class...
Aaaaaaaaa!!
Also I really am worried about someone.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 407022)

Does anyone else feel like they are unimportant?
Like, you have people that honestly DO care somewhat about you. You mean at least a little bit in someone's life, but if you passed, they'd be over it in a few months. You mean something, but you never mean enough. You never affect the person at all. You don't mean as much to them as they did to you. You aren't someone's lifeline. You are just some clingy person who is desperate for someone to care. You're not a big part of anyone's life. Just a background character. It's not like they'd care too much if you die.

no lily stop it dont think like this

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 407780)

aww, I'm sorry about the first two D:
I think you can handle the classes. I haven't talked to you a lot but you definitely seem smart and awesome.
I hope they're okay…

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 407759)

Oh… I assumed that you were somewhere else and the cold was depressing you xP
D:

I was actually kind of surprised at first, so…

aw, I'm sorry D: I wish I could make you feel better… *Hugs* I'm glad your dog is helping.

:/ I really really hope she's okay…


maybe you are broken.
but you're still amazing despite that.

:/

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407754)

...

i'm broken.
they broke me.
(not like crushed broken, or like a broken horse or whatever, but like...pushed a wind-up toy off a table broken.)
that's why i've been acting so strange.
that's why i go from angry to apathetic to depressed in minutes.
i thought i was fixed, yesterday, since i actually felt happy.
now i feel bad again.
...
.....
........meh.
i think i just need a hug. cyber hugs are nice and all, but i feel like i need a real hug.
but there's no one to hug.
._.
then again, a hug might not help...i seriously feel like the song Lonely right now.

bleh.

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 407890)

Oh, Ash... <:^C Oh, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley...
I wish I could find something to say to you. I wish I could find some way to make you feel better, to make you feel less alone--because in the end, we're all shattered in different places of our hearts--but I honestly have no idea. If this were real life, this would be when I give up on words--I really don't use them a lot in real life--and give you a hug.
Whatever sadness you're feeling, Ash, I'm feeling it too.
(Oh gawd, suddenly I sound like Charlie. ._. Never mind... er... this is why I don't talk in real life. *facepalm*)
Maybe not to the same extent, but as much as I can over the internet.
I really don't know what to say or how to react, though; I wish I did.

I guess all I can do is do my best to make you feel like you're not alone. I'm always having weird dreams like the ones you mentioned. I can't tell you the countless times I'm sure I need a new "heart", which I've known for a long time, or when I've needed a new mind. Ugh... I... I don't know. I should probably just click "submit reply" and leave it at that. I'll respond to your emails; I hope I can help somehow, even just a little bit.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 407754)

...

i'm broken.
they broke me.
(not like crushed broken, or like a broken horse or whatever, but like...pushed a wind-up toy off a table broken.)
that's why i've been acting so strange.
that's why i go from angry to apathetic to depressed in minutes.
i thought i was fixed, yesterday, since i actually felt happy.
now i feel bad again.
...
.....
........meh.
i think i just need a hug. cyber hugs are nice and all, but i feel like i need a real hug.
but there's no one to hug.
._.
then again, a hug might not help...i seriously feel like the song Lonely right now.

bleh.

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 407929)

Why you be writing in lower case? This is not the Ash I know. o_O
;_; You're making me cryyyy.

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 407945)

Ashy!!!!!!!!!!
I don't care if you don't want a cyber-hug, I'm giving you one anyways XD
*glomp*

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 407458)

Other than Facebook, the only way you'd know is if i committed suicide and post my suicide note.