The Writer's Block

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LaurenM 07-12-2013 09:33 PM


Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 479997)
Because I've been going a bit mental recently, my anxiety levels are up, and various other things have happened, my parents are taking me to the doctors. To get a referral. So someone can help me with my emotions...or how I struggle so much with them. I need to calm down a lot.

Did anything trigger those emotions?

Sandy 07-12-2013 11:59 PM


Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 479843)
Yeah, sometimes…
You deserve a great life, what you're going through doesn't affect that. You're a fab person. *hugs* You aren't nuts.

Thanks, LST. (*hugs back*) I'm really glad that you think that... Sometimes I feel like society crams people into being defined by anything they could be labelled as, and to know that someone, at least one person doesn't feel this way is really great... Thanks, man.


Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 479931)
yeah, all the time. like i'm gonna go absolutely insane. two nights ago i had to stalk out of the kitchen because my dad was chewing food and i couldn't actually stand the sound that i've heard nearly every frikkin' night of my life. and it felt like i was going to explode or something if i didn't get away from the sound. and i felt/feel like i was/am going crazy.

That's actually happened to me a lot. Like something that normally would cause no reaction from me suddenly brings forth a really strong emotion...?

AlgebraAddict 07-13-2013 12:32 AM

oh my god

i did it

eighteen stanzas

and i know this just proves how pathetic my life is that i feel like i've conquered the world and this is my greatest achievement but still oh my god oh my god

I memorized The Raven. I memorized the last four stanzas in one night, and it was tonight, and I'm so goddamn happy and oh my god i just feel so awesome right now

LaurenM 07-13-2013 01:47 AM

You'd be shocked at how much easier it is to recite English than Chinese. I just needed to read each stanza of an English poem thrice aloud, and it's pretty much memorised. Chinese, A4 sized paper full of copying.

LaurenM 07-13-2013 01:48 AM

I seem to be losing interest in things I used to love, such as piano-playing and running. I don't like it.

AlgebraAddict 07-13-2013 02:10 AM

Same with Spanish, for me, but I'm guessing Chinese is a lot harder. e_e

maxi 07-13-2013 03:31 AM

i'm really messed up. o_o

TheAshWolf 07-13-2013 03:48 AM


Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 479840)
Does anyone else ever feel... below human?
Like... not low as a human, but just... not human? Not deserving human treatment?
I dunno, the more I think about what should and should not be mentally "normal" in today's psychological world, I feel more and more undeserving of the life I have.

God, I just feel...

absolutely nuts.

I felt like that constantly, last year. x_x Like nothing that happened to me was what I deserved--I wasn't even fit to breathe air or take up the space I where I stood. That...and like I didn't matter, like I was too messed up and broken to have any worth. Our society is a "throw-away" society--if something isn't good enough, or if it's broken, it gets thrown out and replaced.

That does NOT apply to people, though. And that includes me and you, Sandy. Who cares what "normal" is supposed to be? NO ONE is normal, NO ONE is perfectly sane anymore. Everyone has some kind of problem--be it emotional, physical, or psychological.

Everyone deserves to AT LEAST keep on living the life they've been given. Don't feel like you're the exception. You're here, you're alive, and you're sane enough to live your life and enjoy it. Things can and will get better, Sandy.


Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 480216)
That's actually happened to me a lot. Like something that normally would cause no reaction from me suddenly brings forth a really strong emotion...?

*raises hand* That happens to me every now and then. o_e It's so strange. One second, the sound of the microwave going or the squeak of an old chair doesn't bother me at all; and the next, I'm DYING to make the sound stop and get all angry/anxious. I think it's just frayed nerves.


Originally Posted by maxi (Post 480265)
i'm really messed up. o_o

D: What do you mean, Max? You're not really messed up. *pats on the back* Is everything alright?

maxi 07-13-2013 04:21 AM

Well, at times, I muck things up--FEAR NOT, that happens to many people around here on earth and it's just something that I am capable of and I can get used to. BUT I did figure out that sometimes I am crazy meaning I do really stupid things but I learn from them because I care about myself. Today I realised that some of the crazy/insane/weird things I do, I do them because I care about myself and also I know that I can do very weird things if I want to--I also do this because I know that I am crazy and I can be fun with myself sometimes. I need to look at this endless world, endless life, endless earth and know that it's going to be alright if I try different things. Some people say that the things I do are fake, weird, stupid, crazy, insane, terrible, horrifying and even...not worth doing--WELL. I figured out that I can do this. I can do this, do this, I can do whatever it takes to do anything. Being me means that I get to do weird things and everything is fine. I just need to remember that since I am me, I get to do whatever I want. See something in front of me, something dark, something mysterious and even something new or old and I run for it, knowing that I can do whatever I want with myself, with my life. I look at things differently and quite amazingly than other people would think of me. They think I can't do weird stuff because I am not capable of it? No, I can do whatever and I think I can do whatever I like and I think that I can think whatever I want to think and I can take the actions of whatever and I can say the things I want to say (some people think that I can't rant about certain things or even rant at all but I know that I can rant because (or venting) it's good for the human heart and pssstttt psssttt it's not someone on here) and I can do whatever it takes to be me because I know that being me is who I am supposed to be. I can rant, I can vent, I can let my feelings out and let them out whenever I feel like it because I am human and it doesn't mean I can't do it and SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OF ALL OF THIS. Sometimes I just want to punch something--oh, crap, though, that would be violent. Oh how sad for you and I think that it's fine actually because I think it's fine for me to do whatever I want. I think it's fine for me to do the things that I want to do. Can't humans vent and rant to let out their feelings, kiddo? It's always something to you, isn't it? It's always something that you can't have a go at because you think that you aren't very good at doing so--well, hon, we're not all perfect and I know that I can vent whenever I want to and I think this is the chance for me to vent because I CAN. So I am letting it out. I am letting out my feelings and letting out that I think that the things that look like I can't do would be splendid to try to achieve--I can at least try these things. They're fine to try to do because I know that it's a different thing and you think that just because you're not some emotional freak, you can't cry and you can't fear things and that you can't try crazy things like jumping on a bed or a table or doing whatever the hell you want to do. Well, I can do those things because I want to and maybe it's just a chance for me to do these things, to do the things I want to try out and now I am getting sick (no seriously I have a flu thingy I don't even know) and I'm trying to get rid of it but I know that sometimes I can try things when I am unwell--everything can be achieved at different times. What can I say, though, people? Oblivious memories come whenever they want to and I guess I want to try something different in this world. This earth is full of deadly and dark things and video games and objects that entertain you or amuse you but it doesn't mean that you can keep on telling me that I can't be part of the dangerous, deadly and dark things because it's my chance to tell people what I can be and sometimes you are my friend and sometimes you are not. I just want to tell people that I can do whATEVER. I can do anything that lets me take on the world's adventures in many ways. I can yell, I can shout, I can scream, I can fear many things but there are also those things that don't let me run around and you are one of them so shut up and let me be something. Shut up and let me look around this world because I want to take on the journeys. Sometimes I can't take on the things that i want to love and look at and spin around in flowers at and see rainbows but that doesn't mean I can't be human. I don't want to have broken wings--I want to fly and I want to not be depressed or emotional or lonely. (well sorry I can be emotional I have feelings). Can't I be some human that wants to explore the world? Can't I be someone that can vent? Can't I be some human who wants to write 3000 words of emotional venting and it's fine for me to write down? Thank you for listening. I hope you learned how to be human.

maxi 07-13-2013 04:22 AM

Ugh. /finally-let-it-out-but-there's-more/

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