| GabiDi |
08-23-2013 10:45 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloudwriter
(Post 491052)
I've had a lot of bad experiences with friends, and simply people in general. I've lost three best friends. The third time was the charm...you don't get how much I cried the year she switched schools, how badly I wanted to move.
Things slowly got better. Or at least, so I thought. I mean, I stopped crying and I have a group of friends.
But the problem is that I'm simply not as close to any of my friends that go to my school as I was to my best friend who moved. I mean, yeah, they're my friends and I hang out with them at school. But I have no desire to invite them over/hang out with them much otherwise. That's me time.
My mom's started to notice. She keeps telling me to invite friends over, but she doesn't seem to understand that I'm happier simply on my own. She thinks all of my friends are going to ditch me throughout my four years of high school, and I'm going to be left out of social activities. I've tried to tell her that I'm not as close to any of them as my best friend who moved, and she tells me to make new friends. And then she'll say something like "well, ____ seems like a nice girl. Why don't you make friends with her?"
She doesn't understand that everyone in my school is in a clique. And most of the girls she tries to tell me to hang out with are nice enough, but they hang out with the snooty popular girls whom I dislike. She doesn't get that you can't just butt into a clique and steal a member. It doesn't happen. And to tell you the truth...I'm pretty sure there's no one at my school who I'll ever be that close to. I mean, yeah I'm close to my group of friends but not as close to them as I was to my other best friend.
My mom doesn't seem to understand how much her comments about me being ditched by my friends (it hasn't happened, but she thinks it will) hurts me. She doesn't understand that I'm just not a social person.
...and I've tried to keep in touch with my best friend who moved. I really have. For a while, I thought things would work out. I really did. But eventually, she stopped trying to make plans with me, even though I'd suggested it. For example, I suggested it one weekend and she kept saying she was too busy, but not long afterwards I saw her sister post on Facebook or something how all her siblings were gone, including my best friend to a sleepover.
We're both fading quickly. I'm almost starting to think that my best friend who moved doesn't want to be friends with me anymore.
It makes me want to cry every time I realize that we're not best-friends/sisters anymore.
I don't even have a best friend anymore.
Last night I tried to accept this.
I took all of my friend's pictures out of my room. I put them away. I told myself "we were never friends."
Maybe if I say that enough, I can trick myself into thinking it's true.
Because I almost think friendships that fade are less painful than ones that are burned.
|
Aww, hon, I'm sorry. I used to be good friends with a big group of people but over the course of eighth grade I lost all of them; either they stopped liking me or I stopped liking them. Now I'm not friends with any of them, probably more on the side of enemies now that I think about it. I don't miss them at this point; I realized that they were all really flawed and petty people, and I made friends with three girls so I now trust and love like sisters.
My point is, you'll probably end up in a point where you feel as though you don't really have any good friends, which sucks, I know. But you WILL find people who you want to be best friends with again. Just stay open and kind and don't lower your standards! In the meantime, don't worry about not having a best friend. You will get one or two or three or four or five - it'll get better, I promise.
Eh, I'm so sappy. You'll be fine. |
