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fUck i forgot how much thIS HURYS
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its a bit late now but just wash it with cold water and apply pressure if its bleeding a lot-you've heard it all before
ily, dont worry, it'll be okay |
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sorry |
i erase so much stuff on my math homework i wanna take all the eraser shreds and just choke on them im so done with everything
hahahhahahahhahahha its great that im not even out to everyone yet and the only person im out to in this family is transphobic (((((: its great that i fuck up my words i really should just be quiet also you know what why am i so dumb at school why do i suck and why is anyone my friend why does everyone tell me that im not nice, like ya i told you BEFORE a million years ago when we first started talking that im a bitch??? why is anyone my friend at all? when i go to highschool i guess ill just come out as transgender but thats all the energy i have because i dont think i have the energy to defend myself anymore and im a terrible person anyway and i hope that life is just a computer game and im just a string of numbers and words and codes that translates into a character because i dont want my life to matter and if life isnt real then that would be fantastic |
pluzzle: it annoys me like im aware of this im aware im a terrible person
im gonna come out soon to my family, but i dont feel safe enough at my current school to come out bc i have 000000000 friends. im gonna come out in highschool, though, when im reunited with my actual friends. ya, pls dont quote me just do the "eli: insert message" thing |
thats good that you'll have your 'actual' friends in high school. When is that? next year?
i hope you don't find this rude at all - and feel free to tell me so and not answer if you do - but do your parents & friends call you eli at all? like as a pet name or nickname, or as how it is your actual name? or do they call you your old name idk im sorry im just a little confused ^^ |
yep its next year
my parents dont know im transgender at all so they dont know that im not lily. my brother doesnt call me elliot/eli to his friends or even to me and refers to me as his sister and i've decided he's transphobic. my best friend calls me elliot/eli and refers to me correctly always, no matter how many times she has to explain it to the students at my old school who previously knew me as lily. im so thankful for her. i don't know how my ex refers to me as when she's talking about me around people who arent internet friends and that annoys me, but ill have to ask later. a friend calls me elliot/eli around ppl who know im transgender but has purposely misgendered me before which pisses me off but he's working on it. and some other ppl who know im elliot, i dont really know if they misgender me or not :/ so basically, all my friends who know im transgender will call me elliot or eli or a similar nickname for elliot, but im pretty sure a lot of them misgender me and the only person i know who doesn't misgender me is my best friend. |
okay wow thanks XD sorry if that annoyed you heh ^_^
thats good that your best friend refers to you as elliot/eli, you're very very lucky to have such a good friend ^_^ |
when people who know im elliot talk to other people about me, it's preferred(i'd actually be super thankful) if they referred to me correctly. except for when talking to my parents. theyre the only 2 people im not ready to be outed to yet. people still accidentally misgender me, but ive only had like 1 person purposely misgender me after a request they dont, and my brother almost completely invalidates my gender.
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yeah, im so thankful for her, she's fantastic (:
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