Hey guys. So I know some of you struggle with depression and self- harm and things like that and it breaks my heart to hear these things and I don't exactly know how to help. But I came across this song today and it is so beautiful and has such an amazing message and I hope it will be inspirational and uplifting to you guys. :) You guy's are so worth it, so loved, and so enough. I hope that if you are feeling like life isn't worth living or you are in a really dark place, you realize that it's going to get better. And if I cannot explain that, hopefully this song will. (The actual song starts at 1:58).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaBIy9oTw7k

GUYS. IT'S 2016. WHAT.
I just wanted to tell you guys that I love you and that this year is going to be awesome. You made it this far so you might as well just make it better from here. I hope you had a fun New Year's Eve and that 2016 brings you lots of smiles and happiness. <33333

well i managed to make a friend. i guess 2015 didn't end on a bad note c: NOW TO SURVIVE 2016 THIS IS MY MISSION I WILL FULFILL

happy new year everyone!!!

happy new years bitches

Im kind of pissed off and I know it's stupid but I cant help feeling this way.

So I have a boyfriend. Let's call him Aaron. He has a brother: let's call him Chad. My boyfriends brother has a girlfriend. They've been dating for like 9 months. Anyways. This is just background info. A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend Aaron mentioned something to me about doing something for New Years. See, my boyfriends family always goes to their cousins on New Years. Their cousins live a couple of hours away so they usually stay the weekend there. Especially because one of their cousins has a birthday on the first and another on the second. Anyways my boyfriend had talked like I was going to get to go with them and meet some of his family.

New Years Day comes around and I get a happy new year text from my boyfriend. I was thinking he was going to ask me to come then but he didn't. I asked what he'd been doing since I hadn't seen or heard from him since Christmas day. He said he'd been running around with his older brother ( not Chad a different brother) and hadn't been home. Okay, whatever.

But later that night, I see posts on Facebook and snapchat from Chads girlfriend. She went to my boyfriends cousins house with Chad and stayed there. Honestly, it really hurt me that she got invited to that but I didn't. I mean it wouldn't have hurt as much if she didn't get invited either but she did. I had thought that id be spending New Years with my boyfriend but instead I spent it alone and cried and ended up going to bed because I was depressed.

The other thing was Christmas. My boyfriend didn't get me anything. Honestly, I wouldn't have cared. I love my boyfriend for him, not his money. But he has a job for one. He's in the military so its not like he's broke. And besides that, my mom got him gifts (she spent over 100 dollars) I got him stuff and I bought his mom a gift. It just hurt a little bit that he didn't spend any time or effort to get me something small or even make something that didn't have to cost anything.

I don't know, but anymore I just feel like he doesn't really care or appreciate me that much. It hurts and I don't know what to do.

do you ever hear a song that you haven't heard in a while and get hit with a tidal wave of nostalgia and just suddenly miss someone desperately but you don't know how to reach out to them because i'm really not enjoying this

yesss i know what you mean :(

this sounds weird but i feel strangely nostalgic when i think about middle school :/ not enjoying high school rn and i miss people from my middle school

so today i told my small youth group that my new year's resolution was to not self harm for the whole year and that's kind of a big step for me and not one single rat's ass was given about that. no "good for you, madelyn"s, no "that's such a good idea"s, no "i'm super glad"s because NO ONE FREAKING CARED I FEEL SO ALONE BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I'M THE ONLY ONE IN THERE WHO'S EVER HARMED THEMSELVES AND IT WAS FREAKING HARD TO SAY THAT AND NO ONE CARES AND THIS REALLY FREAKING HURTS WHY DOES NO ONE GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME AND I MIGHT HAVE MADE MY GRANDMA MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT SELF-HARM AND THE FIRST TIME I DID IT I TOLD HER AND SHE WAS REALLY SHOCKED AND A BIT ANGRY SO I'M REALLY FREAKING TIRED OF THIS AND I'M REALLY TIRED OF MYSELF WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH

oh dang

ooohhh dang

idk if you wanted a reply. if you don't ignore me


I'm pretty sure it's not that they wanted to not support you
it's just that they have no freaking clue what even to say

bc if they're anything like I was last year (I only know anything about self-harm from KidPub tbh) they probably only know self-harm as a bad thing. They think of it as a monster under the bed- distant, impossible, and invincible. They don't know anything about it.

like me with addiction. rehab is a good thing. last year I didn't know that. I thought drug addicts were bad people,, and rehab a prison. Then my sister turned out to be an addict. and she is not a terrible person, my friend. And rehab is a place of healing.

2015 has been quite a ride for our family btw

they simply are too ignorant to give a crap is what i'm saying. If they knew anything about it, they would take it much more seriously, and even rejoice that you have that resolution.

As I am doing currently. Keep that resolution, plz

shhh no no okay
so i totally get the thing about no one else getting it but Im' pretty sure that someone else in there has at least thought about it
you are not alone bc there are a WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE who totally get what you'er going through. don't ever give up.