I feel like I switch between two moods-- being too nervous to do anything and being too sad to do anything. also I haven't been eating much recently and it kind of scares me in a way because I don't want to eat and I've been paying more attention to my weight and all but I know I'm already skinny but it doesn't feel like it. and I know this is a really slippery slope but I don't know how to stop thinking this way. if two of the seniors hadn't dragged me down the block to shake shack I would have eaten a donut and a few fries in the past 50 hours and that scares me because I know I shouldn't do that but I've been doing that more and more

Hi. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I thin the first step is recognizing that it doesn't matter whether you are skinny or fat or whatever. You are great just the way you are. The food thing I understand. I've been going through that as well tbh. But if you are concerned, talk to one of your friends and let them help you eat. Making a schedule can be helpful too. And the nervousness/sadness thing sucks. If you are nervous, I recommend making lots and lots of lists or schedules and planning things out. If you are sad, listen to upbeat music to a) increase your dopamine levels and b) give you some motivation. I'm here to talk if you need it.

lmao what friends lol. also I don't have the motivation to talk half the time how am I supposed to make schedules and all. thanks for trying to help though, I'm sorry if I seem ungrateful

so...
 

all of those creatives who tell you to "immerse" yourself in stories fail to mention how fiction fucks with reality in the worst possible way. because honestly feelings aren't enough to make it last. because a relationship is never between between the two of you, its between you and everyone around who thinks your feelings can be dictated by whatever value or logic they find acceptable. so here i am, ranting to strangers on the internet, eating ice cream out of the tub, with annoying youtubers screaming in the background. because in less than 24 hours i have to break up with my first love and i'm supposed to be ok with the fact i could've fixed this but can't anymore

ughh i feel so TERRIBLE all the time and there are no other words I can say I don't know how to say anything else and I'm drowning. Also I need to sneeze and is my son Judar ok. Probably. I'm not really that worried but attaching myself to that kind of thing briefly relieves the constantly feeling terrible but very very briefly at least Judar's eyeshadow is pretty bc nothing in my life is lmfaoooooooo

Also I want to leave this place. Lmfao. It's useless. And everybody only lets you down. I wish I could leave KidPub. It's not the place it used to be. It seems like it's too late to save it. Not good enough. Thanks for upping my depression. Also magi gave me 1000 ppl I want to cosplay. Too bad I never bother to cosplay or go places with people. Conventions are scary. I only want to stay away from people. I could never do it

Hey SilverMoon! I'm sorry that you feel like this. I get the feeling and it truly sucks. I'm sorry Kidpub has upped your depression, but I think it can be utilized to do the opposite, like it did for me. Remember, leaving is your choice. It isn't what I would do, but you can choose. I'm here to talk if you need to,

Ha
Ha

I feel terrible but that's not new

i hate having feelings for people because it makes my anxiety go throughhhh the flipping roooffff and man it's supposed to be like a great or at least okay thing because whenever i tell my friends they are like "OOH YOU LIKE SOMEONE GREAT, LET ME PLAN UR WEDDING AND OH MY GOSH U SHOULD BE SO STOKED" but honestly all i feel inside is the anxiety starting to pile up and bubble like lava ready to eruptttttt

because i think about him way too much and i dont want to. and if he doesnt text back i automatically result to the conclusion that he hates me and never wants to speak to me. whenever i am talking to him my brain is in overload trying to analyze every eye brow raise and laugh and everything to see if he can at least stand my presence and im not being crazy and making him think i'm insane...and yes, i know that everyone over thinks their crush but i think when it comes to the point that it hurts idk if that's 'normal' or not

yeesh i just wish people were vocal about their feelings face to face lol

so i've sort of become numb to becoming depressed and/or stressed about my own problems, so now i've started becoming depressed/stressed about other people's problems. that's gr8