The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 344483)

I adore algebra. o_o

We're... what are we doing? o-o
I think we're factoring algebra right now... we just finished doing the algebra tiles thing, and expanding, which was super easy. :P

e.e I don't know who you are. XD XD XD DX DX DX How can you not hate algebra? ;w; Is there some sort of trick?

Right now....oh, gosh, I don't even KNOW what we're doing. T_T I think it's mainly solving variables on both sides of an equation, which I can KIND OF sorta do, but then there's function sets and the three variables of a real number and bllergelblagelblubblekablahablor. *bangs head against Math textbook*

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 344338)

Oh my gosh, A. I am starting to get pissed off at you >8| Your just freaking cutting for attention! You say you have a suckish life, but is that really it? And not only that you lie to me. You say your parents mistreat you, but guess what? I know your parents and they're not like that at all. And you say that you're alone when guess what? You are pretty much the most popular girl in school! You have over a FREAKING HUNDRED FRIENDS. And guess what? I'm your best friend and you still say your alone. I'm always there for you! You have so many people who love you and keep you safe but you take it for granted.
I wish you could see this.

Show it to her. Don't be afraid to tell her what you really think.

Moar fatness stuff... ._. I'm so immature

I don't understand why I can't eat and be happy. :/ Why I can't move on from this already. I'm swinging around and soon the six month mark will be hitting me. Six months with... this. x_x
Isn't that like Italian culture or something? Eat and be happy? I wish it were that simple for me.
Lately I have been eating a little bit more after I spoke to my mom about some stuff that she said was happening because of malnutrition... but how can I be malnourished if I'm fat? I mean... the logical part of my brain knows exactly how that can happen (not enough nutrients in high-calorie food, plus the massive amount of coffee I drink draws nutrients from bone) but the stupid part just can't process information like this for some reason. Every day I wish that I could just go back to the way things used to be... but that would mean opening my arms again to being twenty pounds overweight... that is, if I'm not there already.
It kind of started when I noticed this one-pound gain (I know, like I said, I'm stupid. I'm freaking retarded), but I didn't think it could be water weight because the only liquid I had been consuming was coffee for about a week because water was going to increase my weight (without adding to it) for no good reason while coffee brings it down (it increases metabolism and kind of sweeps all the water out of you). It kind of went down from there, and I'm taking a break from stepping on the scale, even though I really want to. I know it's not good for me.
But then stuff started to crumble... I realized that life has no meaning, that there was no point in me being here, and I still know that there isn't, I'm just living on shreds of hope. (As out of character as this may seem for me, I'm one of those people whose lives would be fulfilled if they got married to the person they were meant to be with for the rest of their life, y'know, kind of like the guy from Up. It's really weird, and yes, I'm fully aware that that's not coming for a long time (XD) but I'm still totally aware that this would make life seem... not futile. Now I know that there are many things wrong with this because I am convinced that, because I am "so fat" and "so ugly" (in quotes because I am fully aware that this is irrational) I see this as being impossible, so I kind of just... I don't know. I wanted to die, what was the point of going through another pointless life, one of millions, all for nothing? (I don't see the purpose of doing things unless there is something to gain; I'm kind of like Kyoya from OHSHC.)
I told my mom about this, as expected she got mad for the first little while but then she told me that it was because I was malnutritioned *yeah right*. I was still the same weight, I still looked the same, if not fatter, so how was that possible. ._. Whatever... but I decided to give it a try, so the day after (yesterday) I ate a huge amount of food, lol, and regretted nothing, I was so epically full it looked like I was preggers. XD XD DX *why am I proud of that* I felt good (besides being unable to move) and pretty happy, I guess, so I wondered if things would change. This morning I had a pretty big breakfast I guess, larger than usual but still not very large, y'know, and... (sigh)
I feel like crap. Not because of eating or anything (well, yes, because of eating... just... wait x_x) but because I can't make up my mind. I can't decide whether I want to stop eating more and start cutting down again (800 calories per day at the max), like I was before, and pray to whatever's out there that I lose the pounds that I'm certain I've gained, or keep going like this (I don't know, last night felt like 2500 calories in one meal XD XD XD not doing that again, lol) I'm not sure how either will end.
I don't feel "fat"... I just feel uncertain. Probably because at this point, it was not so much as to lose weight as it was to keep control of how I felt about myself...
I wish I could see myself as Cassandra... Cassandra the person. Not 130 the number. But I'm sure that I'm more than that now... 135, 140... (rational mind: although I don't understand how that could work since weight gain occurs over a long period of time, if I gained anything it would be water weight fluctuations... ._.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 344485)

Hmmm... solving variables on both sides seems familiar... but we haven't learned the other stuff yet. :P The one thing in math that I have ever panicked at was scientific notation, and I get that now. XD It's a really stupid thing to panic about, too, and I think I was the only one panicking. The left-right way he explained it just screwed me up so much. x_x I think I told you about this, right? (No pun intended.) And how this was how I found out I may have a touch of directional dyslexia? OTL wat

Uhhh, not tired. I AM PUMPED! 8V

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 344409)

I haven't been on WB in a while, and I haven't been on KP in FOREVER. And it's back. That's not the reason, though, the reason is my dad suddenly caring about how much goddamn time I spend on my computer when I have schoolwork to do, and the only reason I'm getting away with typing this right now is because I'm pretending it's homework when in fact it obviously is not, and yaddayaddablahs---y'alldon'tcareabout. The reason why it's back? That's a more complicated reason. My mind has abruptly taken to the oh-so-kind idea that my name, 'Heather,' should be replaced with 'B----,' and I didn't exactly object to that. Then it told me that I was an attention-seeking, self-centered idiot, and what do you know, I couldn't find fault with that sorry piece of information either. That's another reason I haven't been on, or posting about this stuff, because it's trying to drown me and (13DTM reference) I am not f---ing invincible. I'm so close to the shore, the mainland, that I can see it, tantalizingly close, and yet the waves keep pulling me in and out, pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling and I'm constantly trapped and the tide never comes in on my emotion ocean (look a lame rhyme) or whatever crap metaphor this even is. And now my mom's yelling at me to get ready for bed, and I'll do that, but I have to finish this first. I went to one of those idiotic high school orientation thingies last night, at a high school that I reallyreallyreally want to get into, REALLY, dragged along by my parents who thought it would be a good idea for me to see what I was getting myself into and to have some 'encouragement.' WELL HAHAHAHAHA. That was possibly the most discouraging thing someone could've ever told me to make me think that I wouldn't get into this high school. So now I'm depressed about that, I had a test today and all I can hear are the speaker's words from last night every grade counts but the fact of the matter is, there were only nine questions on the goddamn test and that means each is worth like 10 percent of my final grade on that and probably more, so if I even f---ed up on ONE I pretty much blew it. Then there's the whole math problem that I won't get into too much, but the boys are being even stupider than before if that's even possible and the teacher isn't grading homework fairly and the entire thing makes me want to scream. THEN on top of all this school pressurepressurepressure and s---, there's my depression, which is definitely back for obvious reasons, and MIRA I MISS YOU OKAY PLEASE COME BACK because it's like I can't talk to anybody about this f---ed up s--- and I want you to come back so you can remind me how to laugh and actually be happy like a proper human being. I seriously don't mean any offense to anyone (coughcoughSophiecoughcough) who's reading this who goes to my school and is a completely awesome friend when I say I can't talk to you about this and I say you don't make me happy, because that's not it. It's not personal. It's not even really about Mira, but, Soph, you're not in 8A and you're not in Geometry and so I can't talk to you during class at least about this stuff, and yeah. Just, don't feel guilty, okay? NONE OF YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR MY PERSONAL MESSED-UP SHITLIFE, I WILL BECOME EVEN MORE DEPRESSED IF YOU DO. Okay? Okay. So, gravy. I've gotten all this off my chest and I feel about a nanometer better, if you know what I mean (if you don't, get a science textbook for Physics class and learn it because this is actually pretty cool stuff and I don't even know why I'm complaining--see what I mean about being a self-centered b----?). I have to do all of my piano homework in one night because I forgot my lesson was tomorrow, though, so if you'll excuse me I'll end this stupid bitching rant and just forget about all this and go pound on my keyboard for a couple o' minutes.

Heather. Ahmagawd. Why do you do this to meh. Everytime you post something like this, I'm just all like, Darth Vader style, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
No matter WHAT you say, no matter how many points you think you make about how stupid you are or ugly or bitchy or WHATEVER... it's all inside of you. Not once, once in my life, have I looked at you and thought, "What a bitch." Okay? Never. You know what? Sometimes someone makes you angry, and you kinda shut them out for a while and read. But you're happy and laughy again within SECONDS. And don't effin' CARE if you're not happy and laughy on the inside (ok, that sounds harsh, I'll explain in a sec), because what everyone else sees is who you are, beyond all this depressingish junk. You're bright and colorful and brilliant and beautiful... and that's how everyone sees you. Everyone. Hell, I remember when I first met you. 4th session of Circus Camp 2010, 2nd week. You missed the first week because your your dad (:(), and you were coming in late. Everyone was gushing about how Heather was coming back, and since I was new and stunk at everything, I was jealous. I was all, "WHO DIS HEATHER AND WHY EVERYONE LIAK HER INSTEAD OF MEE." But then you came in. Skipping. Smiling, no braces. Pigtails. You looked the happiest, sweetest girl in the whole world. That was when I understood.
As long as you're happy on the outside, people will look at you and like you, I promise.
Now on the inside... here's a challenge. For somed effed-up reason, your brain enjoys convincing you that you're stupid, ugly, conceited, fat, WHATEVER. YOUR brain is feeding you this info, so YOU'RE the only person who hears it. Trust me, I feel fat sometimes, and a voice in the back of my head is like, "Fatso, fatso, fatso!" But it's not like everyone else in hearing it too. "Mira's fat, Mira's fat." No. They have no idea. So they look at me and don't think I'm fat, because I'm the only one who noticed the tiiiiiiniest roll of extra skin (well, sometimes I have li-lot more than a tiny bit xD) and suddenly my brain wants me to constantly scold myself for being "fat".
This is all in your head, Heather. SHOW YOUR HEAD WHO'S BOSS. TELL THAT STUPID, UNDESERVING HEAD TO GO TO HELL. OK!?

And sorry about not being here. DD: *furrows brow* I reeeeally miss you guys. I come in every morning to get checked but they send me right back. Monday??

Everybody needs to have a smile on their face. o_o Everyone on here is depressed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 344514)

Everybody needs to have a smile on their face. o_o Everyone on here is depressed.

Sometimes it just ain't that easy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 344277)

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It makes me feel like an idiot when I don't pass an Algebra quiz. ;w; I get A's in everything else but Algebra. Usually I hover around a B+. I went from a B+ to a C in ONE WEEK.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go sob out my frustrations. ;w;

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_makytn8TPO1rq4opk.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 344278)

Algebra sucks by a million. Everyone needs to know THAT. D:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockshadow (Post 344281)

*growls*

So today in PE, me and my friend Rebecca were on a team and we were playing against these two girls from my class. They hit the ball over my head, I attempted to hit it but I missed, and then they called that a point. Then, my teacher called the game was over but they kept playing, and then they tied with us. However, it was AFTER my teacher had called the game off, and then they started *excuse my language* bitching about how I was a sore loser and how I was lying. It was just a game, so I didn't really care if I won or not, but when people either lie, cheat, accuse me of something that I didn't do, or anything that is not a fair game, I get pissed.

I'm still pissed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieMay (Post 344304)

Algebra haters unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will fight fight fight until algebra is with the dinosaurs!!!!!
(I know that's a terrible song, but it's how I feel...)
I hate math. Period. Except for some parts...Anyways, I'm in the advanced class, but my teacher just talks and talks and talks about ONE stinking PROBLEM and then, walah! We don't have time to do whatever else we were going to do that day. Today we had a sub, and we were working on posters. So he says that he's going to give us time to work on our posters, since we're going to present them on Monday. But first, he has to go through a small lesson...a small lesson that just gets longer, and longer, and longer, AND I KNEW EVERYTHING ON THERE. So then we only had about 10 minutes left of the period, and he tells us to get what we can done and the rest we'll have to work on OVER the WEEKEND. Seriously, WHY?????
Sorry for my rantingness, just had to get that out there. -__-

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/20...6607236697.jpg

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http://www.nick-prosch.de/wp-content...remoderjx5.jpg

LOOOOOOK. SEE HOW HAPPY MATH IS. 8'D

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