Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 436904)

About the feeling okay part? Like… I feel sort of okay, even though I'm not okay. Like you could have a leg amputated, but have a lot of anaesthesia and feel just fine.
I am a f***ed up empty s**t. The f***ed up part isn't really debatable, it's a fact to me
hopefully…
thanks

ahaha nope. Resting wouldn't help, it never really goes away. And, no, I'm not strong. But thanks.

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 436866)

Heather and Soph are kind of out of business. *laughs bitterly*

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 436871)

Sometimes I feel like I feel too okay. Not that I am okay, I'm not at all okay, there's only been maybe one time when I think I was ever actually okay, and feeling okay is part of the not being okay thing. But, despite that… sometimes I feel something like okay, just floating in a sea of apathy/numbness and when i say i'm okay that's pretty much what i mean, how much i hate myself and how much of a f***ed up empty s**t i am isn't in the forefront of my mind, i'm capable of thinking about other things for now.
But it's always there, underneath.

(and idk if I feel okay now, like half an hour ago i was tired, emotionally, and… idk)

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 436907)

Oh, yes. *joins in the bitter laughing*

I don't get that feeling often, or if I do, I wouldn't describe it as 'too okay,' but, the 'capable of thinking about other things for now' part, yeah, I know. And I also know, 'it's always there, underneath.' It's kind of like, your life moves on and all, but the consistently jarring thing about it is the irony that even though you're doing this and you're really all right, the depression's always there like an ocean or some metaphorical shit that I can't think of right now, but like, endless and flowing and not always demanding your attention but when it wants your attention it GETS IT and the waves crash on your head and pull you under and your boat sinks for a little but it persists and you float for long periods of time. And yet the ocean's always underneath you. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just trying to get this to... like... I don't even know, but yeah.

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 436930)

hahahahahahahahaha
die
die
die
die
watch me
die

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 436904)

About the feeling okay part? Like… I feel sort of okay, even though I'm not okay. Like you could have a leg amputated, but have a lot of anaesthesia and feel just fine.
I am a f***ed up empty s**t. The f***ed up part isn't really debatable, it's a fact to me
hopefully…
thanks

Originally Posted by avbhabra (Post 436942)

My...throat...hurts...so...much... D:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 436907)

Oh, yes. *joins in the bitter laughing*

I don't get that feeling often, or if I do, I wouldn't describe it as 'too okay,' but, the 'capable of thinking about other things for now' part, yeah, I know. And I also know, 'it's always there, underneath.' It's kind of like, your life moves on and all, but the consistently jarring thing about it is the irony that even though you're doing this and you're really all right, the depression's always there like an ocean or some metaphorical shit that I can't think of right now, but like, endless and flowing and not always demanding your attention but when it wants your attention it GETS IT and the waves crash on your head and pull you under and your boat sinks for a little but it persists and you float for long periods of time. And yet the ocean's always underneath you. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just trying to get this to... like... I don't even know, but yeah.

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 436941)

icic
Well, that's a start. Even if you are f***ed up (you're not) it can be overcome. You don't have to be forever.
Definitely. I believe in you.