Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 519432)

you're lucky

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 519435)

yes I do

but it's made me realize kind of that everyone eventually finds someone that they can talk to and some people are lucky and it's going to be their mother or someone who's there the whole time but idk I just realized this year that a lot of people love me, like, a lot

and everyone has a point in their life where they realizes that. :3 you will too

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 519437)

i mean i have people i can talk to but they just do one word replies and i just feel like they couldn't give two shits about me so i don't talk

Originally Posted by toriluv91750 (Post 519419)

Okay so I just need to vent here because well, just because.

This past tuesday night my friend tried to kill herself. The event was very devastating to me and my friends because we never expected her of all people to do it. We did discover that she didn't REALLY want to die, but she did try. She took a whole bunch of tylenol at midnight and then told her mother in the morning. She had to have her stomach pumped and what not, and she's in a behavioral institute right now. She should be getting out tomorrow and she's doing better. This whole week I was really worried about her, but there were two things that were very personal to me that I didn't share to my friends about the whole situation because I didn't want to seem selfish.
To start, if she would have actually done it, this would have been my second funeral of someone very close to me just in the past year alone. The other one was my uncle, which was only in October. I, to this day, feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything to him when I visited him when he was still in the hospital. I don't know why, but I just feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything. My friend's death would have, and did, put even more guilt on me because there were a few girls being rude to her at school that day and I could tell something was off about her that day and I feel like I should have done something.
Another thing, I've never cut myself or done anything like that, but Tuesday night at around 12:00 I was up doing the dishes (I had just finished my homework and my dad required me to get the dishes done) and I grabbed a knife off of the counter to put in the dishwasher and for some reason I found myself centimeters from cutting my wrist. I don't know what drove me to get that close to doing it, I just kinda felt hopeless at the moment I guess and something felt wrong.

So yeah. I just needed to share because telling this to my friends just i don't even know anymore. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Originally Posted by toriluv91750 (Post 519419)

Okay so I just need to vent here because well, just because.

This past tuesday night my friend tried to kill herself. The event was very devastating to me and my friends because we never expected her of all people to do it. We did discover that she didn't REALLY want to die, but she did try. She took a whole bunch of tylenol at midnight and then told her mother in the morning. She had to have her stomach pumped and what not, and she's in a behavioral institute right now. She should be getting out tomorrow and she's doing better. This whole week I was really worried about her, but there were two things that were very personal to me that I didn't share to my friends about the whole situation because I didn't want to seem selfish.
To start, if she would have actually done it, this would have been my second funeral of someone very close to me just in the past year alone. The other one was my uncle, which was only in October. I, to this day, feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything to him when I visited him when he was still in the hospital. I don't know why, but I just feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything. My friend's death would have, and did, put even more guilt on me because there were a few girls being rude to her at school that day and I could tell something was off about her that day and I feel like I should have done something.
Another thing, I've never cut myself or done anything like that, but Tuesday night at around 12:00 I was up doing the dishes (I had just finished my homework and my dad required me to get the dishes done) and I grabbed a knife off of the counter to put in the dishwasher and for some reason I found myself centimeters from cutting my wrist. I don't know what drove me to get that close to doing it, I just kinda felt hopeless at the moment I guess and something felt wrong.

So yeah. I just needed to share because telling this to my friends just i don't even know anymore. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 519462)

I'm so sorry. I'm am really f---ing sorry.
I think about it every day. How if it weren't for my stupid f---ing decisions, none of this would have happened. I've done it to you too many times. I'm sorry but I'm not doing it again. Not to be mean, not to cause drama, not anything to do with me, but because I can't even handle the fact of doing it to you again. It's all my fault. Don't even try to blame it on yourself because it's all my fault. You have every right to be as pissed off as you want. Because you are the real victim here.
I loved what we had. Especially when she was with us too. But I ruined it. Me and my stupid feelings and instincts had to go and f--k it all up. I appreciate everything that you did to try to save it, but we all knew it wasn't going to happen.
I think about this everyday. Every single day I think about how I could have had a good year last year, how I could have had friends last year, if it weren't for this.
Once again I'm so so sorry.
You are awesome and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I love you.
Camille.

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 519465)

Uhuh... erm... o-o ya 'kay?

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 519468)

Yeah... thanks.
I just had this friend and I kind of ruined it and i just needed to vent.
Sorry. I'm okay though.