no ur not

because i get blamed 4 everything wow very angry parents it was all battered up before i got it anyway sooo

fucking hell im so cold jesus jesus juesuejseusjSJSJ MY HANDS MY FEET AH

i beg to differ

well you shouldn't be. not everything is your fault, and if you're blamed for everything, then you're trained to think that everything is your fault and feel guilty for thinking that it's NOT, and it's a bad cycle to be a part of. i have much experience in this.

im sorry im sorry *drapes warm blanket over you and hands you steaming hot chocolate* is that better

Keep up the facade just a little bit longer,
No need for them to know that this is real.
I show my real feelings presented as a joke.
I really mean what I said, you know.
I'm really actually hurt.
I'm really actually angry at you.
You know what, I really actually feel betrayed.
I really do feel that we aren't as close as I thought.
That we don't understand each other as well as I thought.
What does it take for my abilities, my skills, my work to be appreciated?
You know what I feel? Overshadowed.
I've decided that 2 might be my number.
Brilliant, but overlooked.
Someone is always better, or appears to be.
Or at least is more appreciated.
2 is a number of bitterness and envy.
And pride. 2, too proud to admit to not being best.
Too proud to praise anyone else.
And you know what, I think it sums up a good part of my existence.


If my best isn't the best, it doesn't feel good enough.

E, V, L, and J. You guys are literally some of the only people I can respect.
Keep in mind, you guys, I hate people.
I'm generally too proud to praise others.
But guess what? You guys are way better than I could ever hope to be.
There, I said it loud and clear.
You're all so much smarter, so much better, so much more amazing.
E, V. I don't care if I don't see you guys or even talk to you almost at all anymore. You guys are fucking amazing. Even if you hated me now, or began to hate me in the future, I could never return the feeling. Even if you never wanted to see me again, I would still love you as my nakama.
L. I know we fought that one time after E and V left the first time, and we spent half of grade four hating each other. But besides that, you've always been there for me. You didn't abandon me even though I know I was pretty much a bitch back then. Look, your family had better not be serious about the moving thing. You can't move to that one place like V did. I meant what I said, you know. I seriously couldn't handle that. There would practically be no point in going to school anymore. I love you like nakama, too.
J. Look, I know we only met this year. I know we're still fairly new friends. You're a grade below me, yet you're still smarter/better than I am in multiple things. I respect you, J. You're brilliant. You're one of the people who's even gotten me this far this year.

all of my friends are like
http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/Dont-Trust-the-B.gif

(*hugs*) hey hey no you should throw those damn scissors away okay?

no

idk thank you heather

wow thank you
It is like winter in melbourne it's autumn though ahskkalksndjdkfj

i managed to close them over a tiny piece of skin it was so tiny im surprised it drew blood
it didn't hurt as much as i thought it would

(*hugs*) god what am i doing i'm really sorry I should probably put these stupid scissors away thank you for caring

No. Absolutely not. I forbid you to harm yourself. Take it from a complete stranger, I will not allow it!! Nope, nope nope, you can't. I won't let you. You are too awesome to be hurting yourself so no. No, no, no, no, no, no.