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(*bear hugs*) Hey, those people are stupid and rude. ._. You DON'T deserve to be treated that way. Your height has nothing to do with your worth. Try not to let them get to you, okay? Don't dwell on what they say. They don't deserve your precious thoughts and time. |
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We were so close, though.
Best friends. Standing up for each other. Sharing lunches occasionally. I acted like a sisterly figure. You were like my 'lil brother four months younger. But did you have to shut me out, ignore my texts, not even call me? I know when I moved you never told me today was your birthday. I texted you a happy birthday and an apology for not knowing and being unsure if it was your birthday. People forget. But are you sure you didn't forget me? Plenty of people never emailed me. It took one pair of twins to email me and tell me to wish you a happy birthday in place of them. Seriously, though. I keep feeling like it's my fault. Forgetting your birthday. But you've always been in my head. I tried. I tried to be one of the best cousins anyone could ever be. I feel like I'm failing already. You forgot my twelfth birthday. You forgot to say goodbye. You forgot to text me. I'm failing. Because you forgot me already. |
clay please please please dont go. you matter to me A LOT and it would be so devastating if u left. we love you and you are important and amazing. you stay up with me and talk to me abt a lotta shit and youre always there for me. you are SO loved and connected to everything, remember? we need you.
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(sorry to burden y'all with me shit>> u dnt have 2 read this) i just didn't have a great time at my friends birthday thing which is dumb bc it her bday but i just felt so disconnected from everyone and myself the whole time u know??? i just felt rly. bleh. and then we swam and that brought on a level of dysphoria and *falls over* bleh, and then we were in the spa and i took my rash shirt off because it was coming off anyway and a friend took it and apparently they were passing it around and i didn't know about it and i was trying to act B-) but inside I was like B-(((( because everyone was laughing at me and i'm trying not to cry because im a petty moron,,, so basically yesterday was a very bad day. i had a sleepover with her afterwards in which we watched all three HSM's and did the dances which was fun and that made me feel better but yea. idk does anyone else ever just feel rly disconnected from the world around u and ur like *lays down* Is Everything A Lie |
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Trusteth in my lack of wisdom and my made up words. Pretty much everything is a lie, except the truth. Which sounds meaningful until you really think about it. |
omg I am such a shitty writer
but seriously you guys if I do pull my shit together and publish this stupidass book then you guys have to buy it and read it and love it ok and then give it to all ur friends to buy it and read it and love it |
fcuk idk i was with sam and austin and i still ended up feeling bad and i cried in front of them and fucked up the night kinda
and then like i had to leave and the only reason i didn't scratch the fuck out of myself was bc i made sam promise she wouldn't scratch if i didn't but fuck i start sobbing on the drive home and nearly hyperventilating i almost had to pull over jfc what if ican' get better |
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(hypocritical) i started crying in rave, maths, homeroom and science today! yay me i dont know i sat down with my friends before school and i felt more alone than ever they were all laughing and i was just there. kkkill me |
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