The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 567670)

it is so so horrible when someone you used to be friends with, whom you had a connection with, has moved on and you cant let go because you love them so much but theyve already left you

*hugs* oh my goodness i know the feeling so much

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 567670)

it is so so horrible when someone you used to be friends with, whom you had a connection with, has moved on and you cant let go because you love them so much but theyve already left you

this is exactly what i'm like atm and she's sucking up to all my sort of friends in front of my face and ignoring me and ugh friendships -big hug-
i guess my only advice is to try and not care as much and let her go and find new people to talk to but ik that that's easy to say but hard to do so
she honestly doesn't sound like he/she's worth your time

If I'm not valedictorian, I might as well die.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alaska (Post 567449)

@venika hey hey hey listen to me. think about this for a second. you are planning to leave the world, leave all the bands that you love, sunsets, road trips, nice food, amazing people and everything. you're going to leave it behind.
imagine if you did do that. imagine if your mom walks up to your room for the first time without you existing. everything smells like you. everything you've touched. everything is left the way you left it. a little while on from then. EVERY SINGLE TINY REFERENCE TO YOU, NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL OR HOW INDIRECT, makes your parents want to cry. makes your friends want to cry. you would rip out a part of them and they would suffer for the rest of their life. so you want to escape this temporary pain?? you want to give up?? think about how this will affect the people who love and care about you. think about how this will affect not only your friends and family and community, but also all your friends on the internet, including the kp community. do you really want to pass on your temporary pain permanently to them? and don't even think about saying that they'll forget you after a while, bc NO ONE IS FORGETTING YOU. i know i'm putting this kind of harshly, but you have to understand that you will torture everyone who loves you. i have considered killing myself so much, i think about it every day, but i can't do that to people. it would be selfish of me. it's the worst thing you could do.
i lost my best friend to suicide bc i went on a trip even when he asked me to stay bc he was going through hell and back. it ripped my heart out, sent my depression and anxiety to sky rocket and i am still not over it. he thought no one cared? at his funeral people were weeping and screaming for him, this 13-year old kid was gone forever and he left a mark. he thought no one gave a shit for his existence, he thought his parents hated him, but they were sobbing their fucking eyes out over him.
so if you honestly think that suicide is the right direction for you to take, if you honestly want to waste all those beautiful moments, no matter how small they are, those magical moments, sitting in the back seat of a car with your best friends blasting mcr as the sun goes down, if you really want to give up on everyone and everything and hurt everyone around you, then you really need to rethink your life.
if i was standing next to you rn, i would give you the biggest hug, bc life is so shitty but killing yourself over temporary problems is never the solution. not now, not ever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberry (Post 567462)

@venika: hey now. listen. phan said it all but i wanna add one little bit
it will change
its excruciating to wait it out, i know, but throwing it all away bc a few years have been shitty is a rather hasty decision - you want things to be better. u want to leave bc everything is falling apart. believe me there are times i sit and ponder things like that. but heres one fact that i keep telling myself and others in such situations like youre facing
you have more than half a century to live. more than half a century. sounds like a long time, doesnt it? i bet it sounds horrific to you, more than half a century of shitty life and horrible happenings. but its not. more realistically its more than half a century for things to change
trust me but eventually things will start looking up. it might take a while but they will. if you from the future were to travel to an alternate past and watch herself die, imagine all the regret she'd feel. for not waiting it out, keeping her head up through it all, and living the amazing life that she deserves - she's you. you deserve it, and it will come. it might seem like it wont rn and i understand if nothing i say is making you feel any better or hopeful bc its hard, i know - but so is everything else. and the only way for anyone, ANYONE, to live, is to go through hardships. there was a time in my life when i thought that nothing was worth it, and it still hits me sometimes, but its getting better. i might not be going through what you are, but any situation is the same: with patience, things mend. it will get better.
but you'll never know if you give up now
we're all here for you. you only have a few more years to go for your teenage life to be over and as an adult things are clearer and you'll have a more mature approach and things wont seem as bleak. trust me. just hold out till then. you have us for support. if thats not enough, then seek. seek out anyone or anything from the depths of anywhere, just something that gives you little reasons to be happy. i will listen and i'll be there for you, and lots of others will too. there will be times when youre on your own, but we all trust you to brave through them because they will change for the better and there will be a time that you will look back on this and wonder how you could ever contemplate such a thing. i sincerely believe it.
so just wait. with time, i swear it'll get better. just hang in there, kay? <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 567465)

@venika i have no way with words but please listen to sravani and alaska!!! you mean so much so us please please dont give up friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 567469)

@venika it gets better hon I promise. keep hanging on.

here's a cute picture of a squirrel hanging on for your benefit ok hon

http://www.bluebison.net/sketchbook/...branch-600.png

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 567480)

okay finally i'm in a decent state to do this so @venika:
you will regret this soon. trust me. because in the near future things will work themselves out and you're still young and as my lit teacher said, now is the time to screw up. because it won't affect as much and you'll learn more from it. so just embrace the fact that you have so much time left okay?

and just read what everyone else here said bc i'm very inarticulate now ugh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athenabrain1 (Post 567484)

@venika
okay i really suck at giving speeches like this but hear me out:
nobody's going to laugh at you for feeling like this.
live your life as best as you can and just wait until you're old enough to move out so that you can start a happy and clean life again.
nobody should ever feel alone or threatened because of what some people say that has a 0.001% of even happening bc you're a strong person.
you can do this.
just please don't give up.

i love all of you guys so much i can't believe so many people care but thank you ohmygod!!!!

it's been a bad night but i'm going to read through these and hopefully it'll help <3333

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 567679)

If I'm not valedictorian, I might as well die.

I fail at everything because grades are everything and anything less than perfect is failing.

dear god
it's my birthday but jesus it seems to be causing more harm than good in my family right now
ughh i don't want to stress my parents but they both get stressed really easily and i feel like this is just making it worse
i don't want to be a martyr but ughhh idek what i'm feeling right now

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 567681)

I fail at everything because grades are everything and anything less than perfect is failing.

Okay so I went to get PMT (pearl milk tea) with my friends and that was fun but I still have this sense of impending doom and failure because my grades aren't all A's.

Quote:

Originally Posted by saphiremoon (Post 567682)

hey
/hug/
it'll be alright
there might be tough times and they'll pass and you dont have to feel like a martyr just give them some time and things will get better <33333
happy birthday btw and it rly sucks that its happening on your special day but try to let things mellow down and focus on the good in life mmkay c: things will get better!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by saphiremoon (Post 567682)

(*hugs super tight*)
i don't know what's going on and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but i love you lots and care about you loads and i reallyreally hope you have a good birthday because damn it you deserve it, mmkay?

You don't have to read this I just needed to post it cause it's been making me mad.

so on sunday i was a sunday school and this couple who are my parent's friends are the teachers. anyway, though none of us kids really know each other, we have kind of staked out tables and such, which are pretty gender separated. basically, we were assigned another table (a girl's table to a boy's and vice versa) and we were to write down how to make the kid's at that table's life better. so while my kind-of friends and i were coming up with ours (ie. "help them with homework," "talk to them," etc.) we could kind of hear our assigned table (who were assigned to us as well) say random words like "make up," "nail polish," etc. of course, we were all really offended, but it got worse. when it was their turn to go up and present their ideas, they showed a picture of a stick girl. they had slathered color on to her face to represent make up, as well as colored her nails purple and colored her dress a hot pink. they said that they would make our lives better by giving us make up. one of the kids said that they would do this because he gave some to his mom for her birthday and he says she felt special. we all crossed our arms and started arguing, but then one of our teachers, the woman who my mom is friends with, kind of glared at us and then said something including "I think," "you," and "special." Which if they had just written on their paper "make them feel special." which isn't even making our lives better.

One of the things that angers me so much about this is how they had to "give" us something to make us feel special. And how it's like they're telling us we need to cover our faces with it. And it's not like any of us wear makeup, because we're all only 11. And also how my teacher stood up for them, even though the whole rest of the class (other, non sexist boys included) could see that the boys were being sexist. Also, these teachers are my parent's friends, so it's not like I can talk to them about it.