Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 571328)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AND NOTHING ANYONE SAYS IS GONNA CHANGE THAT FOR NOW LOL HAHAHAHAHA XD XD XD XD :) :) :) :)

Originally Posted by Rockshadow (Post 571330)

what happened?

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 571305)

(sorry if this comes off as mean but i am extremely angry rn)

sure im good at flute, but not good enough. im smart, but not enough. i may be strong, but not in any of the ways that count. and im horrible at things that actually matter, like school. it doesn't matter how cute my hair is because cute hair doesn't get good grades. work gets good grades. being actually competent gets good grades. and if enough people tell you that you're not competent, and you get enough bad grades, it'll become true. im not the best at everything that actually has value. screw being a good person, it's being smart and capable that actually counts. my hair doesn't matter. my face doesn't matter. being kind and helpful and shit doesn't matter. being "beautiful" doesn't matter. i am weak and terrible and awful and not the very very best and therefore i want to sleep forever and punch myself and get out of this horrible incompetent existence because i know im never going to improve.

horrible failure idiot out. hopefully forever bc i really freaking hate myself. there is nothing worthwhile to like about this weak little mess.

(yeah so my grades are bad and finals and things and basically i wish i could be good and strong where it counts but thanks for reminding me that im not completely hopeless ^.^)

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 571342)

Ayy, you are enough. Just by being you and staying you is enough. Don't be down about yourself, however hard that may seem, because you are exactly who you're supposed to be right now. Don't try to change any of that. if you don't think you're good enough at something (and I highly doubt that you're not good enough, you're probably great, but people tend to be hard on themselves), then work towards bettering whatever it is. Fuel whatever pent up stress or anger you have into what you're doing, whether it be school work or into music.
I'm really sorry you feel this way. Truly, no one deserves to feel like this. But just remember that you matter and that you are enough :c

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 571350)

thanks c: but i don't want to be me. i want to be the best and if this is what im supposed to be then i am a disappointment. i never want to be myself again.