OH MY GOD IM LEAVING FOR MY HOMETOWN AND I GET TO SEE ALL MY OLD FRIENDS OMFG YEsSSSSSSS

my mood for the past week has been 9000% done with everyone and everything.

What are you even supposed to do when the guy you like has a girlfriend

but he likes you too

or at least, you're pretty sure he does. Then again, there's always that possibility that he's just using you which constantly is in the back of your mind, but you have to trust that he likes you or else you're going to destroy yourself.

What are you supposed to do when he's the first and only person you can see yourself ending up with but literally EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is against you, and he has a gf. His parents wouldn't be okay with it, mine wouldn't, my best friend would slice my head off for reasons because oh my god this situation is 100000% screwed up and complicated.

What are you supposed to do when you can't talk to anyone about this so you literally have to keep it bottled up and hidden every second of every day. What are you supposed to do when on one hand you feel horrible because he has a relationship, but on the other hand, you can't stop your feelings for him. And he's always complaining about how all he and his gf do is fight and bicker and how she's mean to him, yet they're still together and you just want to freaking ask him /why/ because I would never ever be mean to you or worsen your depression...but you stop yourself from asking why every single freaking time because you're afraid he'll get mad at you and you would die if you lost him because even though he isn't mine he's my everything...and I know I sound like a horrible freaking person and I tried to stop these feelings but I can't freaking help it and every single day this just tears me apart. Because all I want is him and to see him more and I can't.....

But damn it every time I've spent time with him he just makes me feel so alive and on top of the world and I can be 100% myself. That's not a feeling that you can just forget and ignore. I can't just give up on the only person I've ever really felt for like this before..

And the worst part? His girlfriend is my best friend's sister...
please try not to judge me too harshly here

I would appreciate no direct quotes. Please just @ me.

oh my god how is this happening to me

everything

and i mean everything

is going my way

i am in my hometown staying with my grandmother and seeing my best friends every day and everybody here just loves me so much and I want to die of happiness because it's insane omfg just how is it possible to be this happy

ahhhh im so happy for you <3 you deserve feeling like that every single day of ur life tbh
but yaaay enjoy the fun /glomp/

aha yaaaay and yes omg

although today was awkward because my guy friend came to my house (well actually my grandmother's house) and I suck at entertaining people so we ended up doing nothing xDD

dude the exact same thing has happened to me so many times ahaha im a horrible host xDD but yay for reuniting with guy friend :3

this just in: i am an awful person on multiple levels and tbh i'm not even gonna contradict it

i just deleted my story

shit

hey for the record there is no such thing as a truly awful person
people can do awful things sometimes and make mistakes and regret them but that just makes them human
idk exact context but look, if you feel like an awful person that basically makes you a good person bc an actual awful person per se probably wouldn't feel anything at all and dismiss any feelings about awfulness bc they wouldn't care at all
so really the fact that you feel awful about something in itself is proof that you're really not, you're a good person
i know you're gonna valiantly disagree with me bc you feel bad now but trust me, these things, whatever they are, happen, and that doesn't make you a bad person in general ok?
so please don't try anything drastic or try to convince me that you're awful because it's not true, and just think things through, you're gonna be ok