Originally Posted by Alaska
(Post 589184)
i dont mean this in a way that suggests that what you are feeling isnt important, but anxiety and depression are probably the most common mental disorders in teenagers. meaning 1) you are most definitely not alone and 2) your average shrink will know what they are doing. i used to have a psychologist and a psychiatrist and the only thing they managed to solve for me was my anxiety, but mental health is very individual as you may know already. shrinks are also individual, so if one doesn't work out for you, dont think that they will all be as bad.
another thing i wanted to tell you is that getting over bad mental health is not a fast process. you probably know this and are sick of hearing 'it gets better', but i used to be in a pretty similar situation to you. i was very pessimistic and also harming myself. i was sick of anticipating a better future and wanted an instant cure. that was a year ago now, maybe more. im definitely not cured, im far from it, but by living with something that so deeply makes you aware of how your mind is working, you learn about yourself so much faster. all you have to do is accept support, try kinds of help that are available to you, tell people that are worried about you the lowdown, and continue getting up in the morning. dont surround yourself with your mental health but accept it nonetheless (depression blogs are a no no) and appreciate the world you live in. your life isn't truly crappy. mental illness is both a blessing and a curse, because by the end of it you have learnt so much about yourself and your surroundings. also, VERY IMPORTANT, please dont go on the internet most of the time. i dont know if you do, but i miss my pre internet brain. the internet is partially wonderful and enlightening but too much electronic usage, especially at night, is just really bad for you. i have majorly fucked up my brain by shortening my hours of sleep. lying in your bed in the dark is rest. sitting online for hours is not. also, dont give up exercise, i did and i regret it endlessly. exercise is vital for helping to lessen your anxiety and keeping you healthy.
ok that was long as shit but i mean every word. i hope you read it. as for self harm, i cant force you to do anything, but it will be there forever if you go too deep which you mentioned you didnt. in the long run it causes guilt which is not a fun thing to give yourself. perhaps find alternatives such as drawing on yourself, ice (although be careful with ice burns) or just keeping yourself busy some other way.
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