sometimes the pure obliviousness of people astounds me. "haha how on earth did you manage to cut yourself all in a row like that?" um idk with a fucking razor maybe

everything is wrong.
 

Fuck me up the ass with a sword why don't you. the fuck if i care.
I want to slice my thighs to ribbons and claw my back numb and fuck up my arms and bleed and bleed and bleed but i can't i can't i fucking WON'T
My best friend started cutting.
Fuck.
What if it's my fault. What if i'm the one who exposed her to that, she only knows one other person who cuts and he came along years after I started.
I didn't even tell her to stop but she said herself that she knew it was wrong and people had told her it was wrong and that hadn't stopped her so what would my word do? I told her how to hide them and to put moisturizer with vitamin E on them so they wouldn't scar and gave her tips on how to lie about it. I told her about the butterfly project too.
Shit is that enabling?
I don't want this for her. She doesn't know what she's getting into. I don't want her to fuck up her life like this.
And I don't want to turn around and be ok. I don't want to be told it'll turn out alright , I just want to break a hundred things and break myself and burn burn burn up burn out burn away. FUCK!

oh hon im so sorry that's really fucking terrible and im kinda in a similar situation atm so i gotcha
you've gotta hang in there okay
im not saying it's going to turn out alright, but you've GOT TO take care of YOURSELF, because to help your friend you need to be safe and stable and you will not be any of that if you hurt yourself. hang in there and email me to get my number if you ened to talk

thanks love, i appreciate the offer, though i don't actually have a phone, haha.
i think i'm good now, calmer at least. i have an unfortunate habit of bouncing back even when i shouldn't.
thanks, again
and hey, if you ever wanna/need to talk about your similar situation (or anything else) you can email me.

alright sweetheart I emailed youu
you should email me back :333

My parents are in the process of getting a divorce. It's not like they're fighting about stuff, so I don't really know why they're doing this. I have to switch schools because of this and I really like the school I'm at right now. I wish I could do something and I'm really sad about it :(

That's hard. That's really hard and I wish I could change it. I hope that it turns out alright, somehow.

Thanks, Snow. Knowing that you're here for me makes me feel much better. :)

You are too sweet h o n e s t l y, thank you
I replied to the first email, sometimes my hotmail does weird things tho so idk if it actually got to you :/
But yeah, thank you :)

A thousand things are going on, or need to be, and all I seem to care about is the fact that my room isn't perfectly clean.

I never clean my room why tf do i care now?

Odd behavior aside;
Kaitlyn kidlet, i'm sorry about your parents :(. Sometimes people just fall out of love and that's sad, and I hope you know that it's not your fault and that things will end up ok eventually.