The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)

- Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)

- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 340014)

And then.

:/
I'm sorry, H... I'm doing that, too. :I

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 340026)

:/
I'm sorry, H... I'm doing that, too. :I

I can only write poetry when I'm sad, though. /addedbonus Woo. Hoo. Yay.
Feels like s---. Urghhh.

I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. D: I have soccer practice everyday and two games a week when I don't get home until 10:30, and I have homework. I have two projects I haven't even started on yet, and a speech for language arts, plus I'm taking Chinese and am trying to get grades good enough to meet my parents expectations, and I don't know how much longer I can do thiiiiiis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 340014)

And then.

Oh god. Heather. I know you can do this. I know you, I know you can do this. Not doing it would be impossible.

Yeah. First I'm all encouraging, so happy happy HAPPY! Help my friend, I care about her so much it hurts. And Then. Then it breaks. It just shatters, gone, zip, nothing, nada, goose eggs. And of course I hide it. Would I want to let my family know how I feel? How every morning I wake up, I'm crying? Do I want them to worry about me? I don't even know what I want anymore. I laugh along with friends, I smile at jokes, I eat, sleep, talk- but I hardly feel anything anymore. I know I should. But the thing is, I'm not real anymore. Just- poof. No more Sophia. And my head nods, and my fingers are sure as they type these words, but I feel nothing. I feel no sadness, no anger. The only thing I've been able to feel is happy. And even when I do, it only lasts an hour at the most. How do you feel again?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moogle (Post 339861)

*what MaryElizebeth said*
POKEEEEHHH YOU'RE A SUPER AWESOME PERSON AND ADJFAKDFADFJ YOU DON'T DESERVE TO FEEL LIKE THAT AT ALL! CUZ YOU AREN'T A FALIURE, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE! YOU'RE AWESOME, AND WE ALL LOVE YOU FOR IT!!!!!

Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 339877)

Pokey.
Never let your appearance deter you.
I hate this ugly spot on my chin but I don't CAAAARE.
Or is it something else?

I wasn't crying because I felt ugly, no. It's just the fact that I feel ugly thar ADDS to everything else, and that's what made me totally fall apart.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 339884)

Mira, you're not a failure. First of all, you've published TWO BOOKS and that's two more books than I'll probably ever even write, or at least finish. And you've got a wonderful singing voice--no, DON'T complain about this one, I'm serious. And you're an amazingly talented actor who is funny and beautiful and awesome. So. Do tell why you're feeling down, because otherwise I'm going to have to go through every single thing that makes you epik and that's going to take a while.

I emailed you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 339894)

If you're a failure, I'm a camel. I hate camels. Don't make me be one. D:

And you are FRIGGIN NOT a failure. You're AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AND NICE AND FUNNY AND SMART AND ALL OF THAT STUFFISHNESS. KAY?

Will you be a groundhog or something then? I did it again today. I'm jist tge random loser who's sitting by herself. Sitting by herself even though the person who she calls her best friend is laughing and hanging out by herself. I was crying today; not in the bathroom but OUT IN THE OPEN; AND NO ONE NOTICED.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 339974)

To be completely honest with you, I'm eighty percent sure that you're prettier than I'll ever be... :^I If you, at one point had a picture of yourself on KP (...I think you did, maybe for your profile pic)... I wish I looked like you. :'(

But really...

Oh god, thank you so much. I know this sounds really weird, seeing as you sound really miserable, but I just came back from a really crappy day and knowing someone else feels the same really makes me feel like there's a huge load off me.
My mom spent the first hour that I got home from school screaming at me that I have an eating disorder because I asked her not to make me noodles and freaking cheese for lunch tomorrow, maybe a nice salad instead. (I tell her not to make lunch or clean my room in the first place, but she does and then she complains about having to do it, even though every time I tell her not to... ._.) I don't know, maybe I said something else, I really don't remember... all I know is that it escalated into a huge screaming fit and now we both think the other one is psychotic and insane. She's starting with the eating disorder clinic bluffs and threatening to take me out of IB--the best thing that's happened in my entire life--yet again, and it's tearing me apart, just like it always does. Thanks, mom. After all this time, yet again you listen with your mouth rather than your eyes and ears. And by listening I mean not listening at all.
You are perfectly aware that my weight is a massive weight on my shoulders (no pun intended... =_=) You have succeeded in spontaneously slamming me with a million other things, now--thank you. Really. So much.
I can't start running again until the ninteenth or later because of my homework (which helps me relax) and my gym membership expired, so we're getting a treadmill in the house. It feels like I have a century ahead of me of waiting and praying that I can make it through until I have my outlet back.
I don't know how I'm going to entertain my friend tomorrow--I feel like a mess. I shoved my fingers down my throat after eating the noodles, and before that I had eaten all the noodles to console myself for the fact that I had eaten them in the first place, (what the heck...) as usual nothing happened, I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if everyone else sees what I see--I truly don't believe that they do. I know, I have a problem.... but Mom, stuffing me with what I'm trying to avoid isn't going to help. Of course, I'm going to freak out. Oh god, please... let the treadmill come soon... (*prays*)

What, you're going to feed spiders to an arachnophobia and then give them the death penalty for being scared?

It actually wasn't ugliness, it was like... well, what I said up there. ^^ But it did add to it. And don't be ridiculous Sandy. You're beautiful. <=)
And about the weight thing, I'm almost the opposite. In fifth/sixth grade, I was super underweight, but last year, seventh, I just randomly started gaining weight. And gaining and gaining... And I'm trying to lose weight but I like food too much to eat less so I don't think it will stop.

But thanks. (:

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 339985)

/huge-glomp
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvmcu47X651qen75u.gif
Oh Mira. No. No. I've seen pictures of you. And you are SO pretty, okay? Kay.
And here's the REALLY important thing. Even if you weren't super duper pretty you would still be awesome and not a failure because you're an amazing writer, and funny and smart and sweet and not a failure, and that's what counts.
And you ARE so pretty... so don't worry, 'kay? :/

It isn't that that was getting to me, mainly, but thank you nonetheless. I love you all. (: *glomp*

/hugsforPokeyandSandy
You. Are. Not. A. Failure.
:/

Relieved. I shaved a minute off of a one mile run today. But now I'm nervous because I have to run a mile and a half on Monday. Now I'm nervous!

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 340101)

Oh. I know that feeling so much. Don't worry, though, if you feel like worrying, even though you can't feel at the moment. But don't come out of the nonfeeling with worry, if you know what I mean. Take it slow. Appreciate things. Notice things. Understand things. Feel. You'll be all right, Soph. Just breathe.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 340111)

Thanks.

I wasn't crying because I felt ugly, no. It's just the fact that I feel ugly thar ADDS to everything else, and that's what made me totally fall apart.

I emailed you.

Will you be a groundhog or something then? I did it again today. I'm jist tge random loser who's sitting by herself. Sitting by herself even though the person who she calls her best friend is laughing and hanging out by herself. I was crying today; not in the bathroom but OUT IN THE OPEN; AND NO ONE NOTICED.

It actually wasn't ugliness, it was like... well, what I said up there. ^^ But it did add to it. And don't be ridiculous Sandy. You're beautiful. <=)
And about the weight thing, I'm almost the opposite. In fifth/sixth grade, I was super underweight, but last year, seventh, I just randomly started gaining weight. And gaining and gaining... And I'm trying to lose weight but I like food too much to eat less so I don't think it will stop.

But thanks. (:

It isn't that that was getting to me, mainly, but thank you nonetheless. I love you all. (: *glomp*

God. Mira. I just.
Sorry, I just read that part about where NO ONE NOTICED. And the thing is, I can completely and totally relate to that. See, remember I was telling you about that time in fifth grade? Where I was horribly depressed and felt fat, ugly, and stupid, like I wanted to lock myself away in a hole and slowly watch myself disappear into a mesh of atoms and cells that were devoured by--well, you get the point. And I felt so awful. But I couldn't do anything about it. So I wore a black shirt (long-sleeved) under everything, and I was actually almost desperate for someone to notice because I wanted SOMEONE to drag me out of this hole that I'd put myself into, because I sure as hell couldn't do it myself. And NO ONE NOTICED. This lasted for roughly a month and a half. And all those eight weeks, NO ONE NOTICED. It was just horrible. I felt completely unwanted and unloved and even though I shared jokes and laughed and smiled and flailed I didn't actually FEEL any of that. It was all just an act, a big f---ing phony act, and I wanted someone to effing NOTICE. But no one did. And eventually I had to drag my sorry ass out of that pit myself, and eventually I made it back to normal, but it never really went away, and now it comes out at the worst moments. So. Mira. Let me tell you something. If I had been there, I might not have noticed. I'll be totally honest with you about that. Because horrid things happen, and humans don't like acknowledging that--either that, or they acknowledge it too much, and they twist it so it's all really okay, but it's not, it's f---ing NOT. So. I'm only human, you're only human, we're all only human. And that means that sometimes people are NOT GOING TO NOTICE. And it's gonna hurt a hell of a lot, and you're gonna cry, and there are going to be time when you feel like your belly is dragging in the fires of hell. But. But but but but but but but but. You've got to be brave. You've got to tell people about this stuff, because it's the only way you can get better. To share. Because sharing is human, too, and humans have empathy thing, and that feels f---ing FANTASTIC when you're feeling down. So it's okay to feel down and bad and horrid, but remember to eventually (don't wait too late, I've done that a million times and it's NOT) tell someone, or just vent and cry and scream, but give it TO, don't trap it IN. You shall get through this, because that's what friends are for: to help you. <3 And now, the evil smiley face: :)