The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

wildwolf 10-08-2012 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 347714)

Yeah. I don't want anyone to do self-harm either. /hahahaha /irony /lookwhothisiscomingfrom
Hey. I've already done the 'trustworthy friend' thing. In my eyes, alla y'all are pretty damn trustworthy--at least, if you care, you are. And I can't, can not, can NOT tell an adult. Don't even try to make me tell an adult. I'm not going to, not because I don't trust any adults, but because I trust that they're going to send me off to a self-help psycho, and I don't need any more chaos in my life.

Well, you may need a therapist. Stop being too proud to go to one, if you are. Lots of people go to therapists.

lvhamsters 10-08-2012 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 347750)
Well, you may need a therapist. Stop being too proud to go to one, if you are. Lots of people go to therapists.

It's not that simple o_o First you have to ask your parents if they can sign you up, and that in itself is horrifying.

HeatherB 10-08-2012 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 347750)
Well, you may need a therapist. Stop being too proud to go to one, if you are. Lots of people go to therapists.

I'm not too proud to go to a therapist. In fact, I don't have much pride to begin with... I don't want to go to a therapist because a) I don't feel like it's that extreme, seeing as I've done it a total of twice, b) I don't know if my family can afford it and I don't want to clog my parents' bank accounts and schedules any more than I already do, c) wasting my time in an office where some guy sits around listening to me talk and then giving me emotional prescriptions=not my idea of fun, d) I don't want to talk about this to someone I don't know, e) I think it might stop soon, f) I don't really care. Those are my reasons. I shalt stick by them.

soph-soph27 10-08-2012 07:41 PM

You don't have to read this. Maybe you left after you read that sentence. Jeezus. I just freaking stopped hyperventilating. What DOESN'T she expect me to do, cut myself with my swiss army knife. They don't understand just how angry I am. They don't understand, that right now, when my hands are quivering, my brain is moving at hyperspeed, and they don't understand that right now I am capable of anything. Nobody seems to notice anymore, when I'm sad, it just seems like people actually ignore me, even if they can see through me, they just ignore me. Because who need Sophia? Not school. Not like I'll make a difference in the world. Sure someone might miss me, but hey, I'll still be gone. I don't know. Maybe I just give up. does it really matter? Does anyone really care anymore? Maybe I only stay for my friends for life and my family. Maybe M and K would miss me. But who knows. Not me. Who needs me? Does ANYONE? I hate this. I hate it. I wish this self pity would go screw itself , then strangle itself and die in a hole. But it won't. Why not? Because I'm fueling it, and the only way I can do it is to hit myself, to bruise my legs and then wear jeans when it's seventy degrees outside, to put on a false smile in the morning to hide the bags under my eyes after I cry to sleep, to try and love my brothers as best as I can without feeling jealous. Why? Aren't I worthy enough the pay attention to? Sometimes at recess I wish I were like my friends, who can take an insult, or simply ignore me and turn away, making me feel childish. I wish I was like them, not so puppy-like and dependent on their energy. I'm a freaking leech, I sponge off peoples attentions. I need attention, and I feel so neglected. You read all that depression recovery, it doesn't help. I just think how lucky they are. That's so low, lower than low, my all time low, lower than the lowest of the low. Because when they recovered, they had some cases like I did, neglected, unhappy, and selfishness crossed with trying to be selfless. What do I need to do to attract attention, be cool, aloof, and not me? Flip over backwards? Am I just a comedian, someone who tags around like a lost puppy, and occasionally amuses my owners? Do I matter? You didn't have to read this, and I'm almost positive that my life could continue like this. But do I matter? All I want to know.

L.S.Trendom 10-08-2012 07:47 PM

*Hugs and support for everyone* Dx

@Sophie: I don't know you as well as some other KPers, but I still know you're epik. You do matter. :/

lvhamsters 10-08-2012 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 347784)
You don't have to read this. Maybe you left after you read that sentence. Jeezus. I just freaking stopped hyperventilating. What DOESN'T she expect me to do, cut myself with my swiss army knife. They don't understand just how angry I am. They don't understand, that right now, when my hands are quivering, my brain is moving at hyperspeed, and they don't understand that right now I am capable of anything. Nobody seems to notice anymore, when I'm sad, it just seems like people actually ignore me, even if they can see through me, they just ignore me. Because who need Sophia? Not school. Not like I'll make a difference in the world. Sure someone might miss me, but hey, I'll still be gone. I don't know. Maybe I just give up. does it really matter? Does anyone really care anymore? Maybe I only stay for my friends for life and my family. Maybe M and K would miss me. But who knows. Not me. Who needs me? Does ANYONE? I hate this. I hate it. I wish this self pity would go screw itself , then strangle itself and die in a hole. But it won't. Why not? Because I'm fueling it, and the only way I can do it is to hit myself, to bruise my legs and then wear jeans when it's seventy degrees outside, to put on a false smile in the morning to hide the bags under my eyes after I cry to sleep, to try and love my brothers as best as I can without feeling jealous. Why? Aren't I worthy enough the pay attention to? Sometimes at recess I wish I were like my friends, who can take an insult, or simply ignore me and turn away, making me feel childish. I wish I was like them, not so puppy-like and dependent on their energy. I'm a freaking leech, I sponge off peoples attentions. I need attention, and I feel so neglected. You read all that depression recovery, it doesn't help. I just think how lucky they are. That's so low, lower than low, my all time low, lower than the lowest of the low. Because when they recovered, they had some cases like I did, neglected, unhappy, and selfishness crossed with trying to be selfless. What do I need to do to attract attention, be cool, aloof, and not me? Flip over backwards? Am I just a comedian, someone who tags around like a lost puppy, and occasionally amuses my owners? Do I matter? You didn't have to read this, and I'm almost positive that my life could continue like this. But do I matter? All I want to know.

Hey, hey, calm down. There are times like these when you're incredibly angry at everyone, at yourself, and what I've learned is to just sit down, catch your breath, and scream into a pillow. Or draw a butterfly on your arm. (Look up the butterfly project. I guess I'm spreading the word ^^)
To attract attention just be yourself :) That's the best thing you can do ~hugz~ Hang in there.

10-08-2012 07:53 PM

Dear K,

Okay, I know it was you. D said someone told her I said something about her, and the only thing I've EVER said bad about D was that she sometimes left me out of the group. That's IT. Making up some horrid story and telling her false information is making me really angry, and it's taking everything in me not to lash out at you. It's one thing telling her the truth of what I said (which again, was nothing but what I said up there), and then there's making up crap. I'm going to find out if it was you, and it will NOT be pretty when I do.

Rockshadow 10-08-2012 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 347790)
Dear K,

Okay, I know it was you. D said someone told her I said something about her, and the only thing I've EVER said bad about D was that she sometimes left me out of the group. That's IT. Making up some horrid story and telling her false information is making me really angry, and it's taking everything in me not to lash out at you. It's one thing telling her the truth of what I said (which again, was nothing but what I said up there), and then there's making up crap. I'm going to find out if it was you, and it will NOT be pretty when I do.

Aww. :( I'm sorry. Do you need to talk?

soph-soph27 10-08-2012 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 347786)
*Hugs and support for everyone* Dx

@Sophie: I don't know you as well as some other KPers, but I still know you're epik. You do matter. :/

Thank you.


Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 347788)
Hey, hey, calm down. There are times like these when you're incredibly angry at everyone, at yourself, and what I've learned is to just sit down, catch your breath, and scream into a pillow. Or draw a butterfly on your arm. (Look up the butterfly project. I guess I'm spreading the word ^^)
To attract attention just be yourself :) That's the best thing you can do ~hugz~ Hang in there.

Okay, I apologize in advance for my angry rant now.

begin: Oh yeah, that's what they all say, I've already tried screaming into pillows, I do it every night, and soon I'll be graduating to wearing long sleeves because of bruises. Who's going to ask why? Nobody. I'm trying so hard, but the pressure just sits on me, and I'm drowning.

lvhamsters 10-08-2012 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 347794)
Thank you.




Okay, I apologize in advance for my angry rant now.

begin: Oh yeah, that's what they all say, I've already tried screaming into pillows, I do it every night, and soon I'll be graduating to wearing long sleeves because of bruises. Who's going to ask why? Nobody. I'm trying so hard, but the pressure just sits on me, and I'm drowning.

No need to apologize.
:( Well, I really hope you feel better soon. Sorry I'm not of much help. :')


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