The Writer's Block

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bookworm1999 12-02-2012 07:54 AM


Originally Posted by evasong (Post 371513)
I'm not, you made me feel better when I was sad, so thank you!! Why would anyone be annoyed with you??

Because I'm pushy.... and just naturally have an annoying attitude.

soph-soph27 12-02-2012 08:32 AM

Well shoot. I don't care anymore. I'll try my hardest, and that's it, cause there is no damn way that this stupid depression is going to get me today, or tomorrow. I can run, but I won't hide, I can face it, and laugh, and I will laugh, the day depression makes me contemplate seriously hurting myself. I've finally broke. Thought I would also say that. Now I have a small scratch on my hand and right next to one of the veins on my wrist. I'm not stupid enough to cut a vein. It might not be serious, but if it escalates, I will laugh hysterically, and scare it away. I'm broken, not afraid anymore. I've never really been I guess. Anyway, I felt like I wanted to get this off my chest, the cutting thing, I mean.

LaurenM 12-02-2012 09:57 AM

'i dont like it when ur trying to show off your perfect knowledge of english, lauren. this is not school.'
Seriously? I was simply telling you how 'humpty dumpty' is spelt!

Sandy 12-02-2012 11:52 AM


Originally Posted by Rockshadow (Post 371491)
I don't know who I am anymore.

I feel like a shadow. I don't feel like myself anymore. I start pointing out my own flaws and think to myself, "I'm ugly. I'm worthless."

What the hell is wrong with me. I'm now officially scared.

This may be hard to believe, but feeling that way is normal, especially around our age. Nothing is wrong with you; just do your best to push through this and it will pass, I guarantee you.

Sandy 12-02-2012 01:28 PM

Buckle in, guise, and prepare yourself for one of Sandy's rants. ._.

I don't know if it's the insane amount of coffee I've been consuming--probably is--but I've been feeling so weird lately. I feel like it's something I should be trying to express with music or art or anything, anything but words, because it's so... god. It's so hard to describe/reach, and it's so fleeting, but it's something that's been bothering me nonetheless. It's like caught between nostalgia, frustration, confusion, apathy... huh. It's so very strange.
Here goes my best shot...
I've been overthinking things--as usual--and that leads to all sorts of strange thoughts. Plus, it's winter, and all sorts of weird things happen in my brain during winter... I'm living in the future. Which is always much better than living in the past, I mean, but it makes the things around me so difficult to understand. Most of my thoughts have to do with the fact that I'm in high school... I feel like I should be an adult by now, but my mind knows that this is not true. For the first time, I'm truly caught in the rift between childhood and adulthood--at least, my mind is. I feel like I should have a boyfriend, or a crush, or SOMETHING, but a part of me feels like I'm not ready, another part feels like I wouldn't have time for them, another part just doesn't care. I feel like I should be... I don't know. I feel like I've already broken the childish need for parents to be around, so naturally I suppose it's going to be awkward living in the same house for the next couple years. I guess I'm just anxious for my life to begin, but at the same time there are parts that I don't want to get into, like relationships and stuff... yeah.
I don't want to live on this side of life anymore--does that make sense? It's got absolutely nothing to do with suicide, that phase is long gone, thank freaking god. I want to abandon this physical world where my mind has kept control of me for so long (I am extremely pragmatic and logical by personality), dig into the ground, and keep going until I get to the other side of life, the one that's full of meaning and that euphoric bliss that you get sometimes when something amazing happens. But to do that, or even to experience that I suppose I have to find something of meaning in life, which isn't going to happen. :I So instead I'm going to sit here and let the time rush by me, WAITING for something to change. :/ When is life supposed to truly begin?

This is going to be one of those days where I don't put anything in my mouth expect for some bread at breakfast and then just coffee for the rest of the day until I go to bed... ._. I feel dead, but not in a sad way. Just dead... no emotion to the word. Dead or dying. "Lingering."

(*takes sip of coffee*)
I need a workout.
Pretty sure that's not gonna happen either.

bookworm1999 12-02-2012 02:38 PM


Lily09 12-02-2012 03:22 PM

Cut's a really good book. I've got it on my kindle.

Sandy 12-02-2012 04:07 PM

You're such a scum... I can't believe how different we are, and the fact that these differences are what makes me able to blame me on you...

HeatherB 12-02-2012 04:11 PM

You ruined my perfect day. I collapsed in tears on my bed, and you didn't notice. I used my Circus Camp t-shirt to wipe the tears off my face--that's probably metaphorical somehow, too. But I was so goddamn happy and you took it away from me. You always take it away from me. The guilt hanging in the air around my face whenever I'm with you is seriously pathetic. I was actually happy, and then you went and yelled at me when I was in the middle of writing and something snapped in me and my happiness went haywire and now I'm back to emotionlessness--for the time being. I hope that when I can feel things again it's happiness, because I've missed feeling like that for a long time.

maxi 12-02-2012 04:17 PM


Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 371709)
You're such a scum... I can't believe how different we are, and the fact that these differences are what makes me able to blame me on you...

FFFFF--What the heck happened?

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