Then again, I'm about as insensitive as is possible.

No, you're right. He's just really fragile, so telling him that we essentially don't care and that he needs to get over it could be really hurtful, even though it shouldn't be and it's true. I don't have any friends who are blunt enough to get the job done.

I mess these things up...

Not always... People just need to realize that this is how you are, and they need to accept it. I might get a bit irritated with you (though I don't believe I have yet), but I accept it.

I do too! :Dhttp://gifsforum.com/images/gif/i%20...a7baf3-199.gif

Mum and Dad:
You keep going on about how impolite I am. Do you think I'm oblivious to your cynical insults? No, wait. It doesn't matter if its you, but if I stare at you in a very annoyed way you shout at me. You order me to GTFO of your room, but I can't even point outside the door and say, 'get out, please' very curtly.

Some day I'm going to crack and kill you.

Very sincerely, Lauren.

The day they read this will be hilarious....

Some famous guy whose name I can't recall for the moment once said something like, "In all my time here, I can sum up life in three words: it goes on."
To me, that's kind of why life absolutely sucks.
But life doesn't have to go on.
Because you can end it.
I can end it.
It doesn't take very much to kill a person. Lives are quite fragile.
But at the same time, I can't end it. Because there is guilt, but there is also cowardice.
It's selfish enough to want to end my life, but it's pathetic that I'm so afraid to hurt myself that I couldn't do it.
Someone else would have to, literally or metaphorically, pull the trigger.
I don't know why I'm talking about suicide. It's not like I'll ever get the guts to commit it.
Suicide is both cowardly and brave.
It's cowardly because you don't feel courageous enough to keep living.
But it's brave, because you put yourself in a position where the only person you want to hurt you is you, and that's stronger than almost anything.
Sometimes, yes, I wish that my life would just end. The apocalypse could've come, and I wouldn't've cared.
But my dad and many others view suicide as selfish. And it is. Because in that moment, you're really only thinking of yourself, or so they say.
I'd be thinking of everyone I ever had the opportunity to love in that moment. And before I could feel so overwhelmingly blinded by guilt and pain as I've felt before... I'd pull the trigger.
So to speak.
It's very difficult to speak out of silence. I've never really done it before, though I've made poor attempts.
Suicide would be a way, for me, to speak out of silence. For me to take that risk and put myself out there.
But it also wouldn't matter.
And I say that a lot of things won't matter, but suicide most definitely wouldn't matter--to me.
How could it? I'd be dead.
And it wouldn't be so bad to be dead. Emotionless truly, as I've described myself before in life. But in death, it really doesn't matter. In death, your life doesn't matter.
Because it's over.
And you don't care because the dead are far, far beyond caring.
It matters that you're dead to the living, but the living and the dead matter not to the dead. Nothing matters to the dead. The dead, assuming they do not travel unconsciously to some otherworldly realm, be it the kingdom of God or an island in the middle of nowhere or a fiery hell, couldn't care less.
The dead don't have an excuse.
And neither do I.

Heather, you aren't a coward because you're afraid of taking your own life. You understand how that could affect other people. Heather, you have a lot to live for, and I hope you know that. You'll be okay.

I think get what you're saying. But please don't commit suicide, Heather.
Suicide is considered the easy way out. Because they don't have to live with the consequences. But other people do. But if what happens after you die doesn't matter, then why are all these people obsessed with saving the earth? It's not going to make a big difference for centuries, according to them. Why do people bother leaving money to their children to support them when they themselves are dead? Why not just spend it all in their final days?
I guess it's because they still think it all matters. Because they care what happens when they're gone, and because they can't go out of this world with a clean conscience without knowing that they've done what they can to help people and causes they care about.
A couple of years ago, I thought about how people would react if I died. I wanted to know what would happen. I could have easily chosen just to commit suicide so that people would notice. Not because I had nothing to live for, or that I was unhappy. I want to make my mark on the world. But I decided not to, and now I know that there are better ways to make my mark. But I could have easily been a piece of news on the television.