friendly reminder that you are the greatest person alive for telling me this and almost making me believe it.
i bookmarked this post under 'more friendly reminders'

And you're kind of being even more awesome by saying that to me and making me feel so much better. Thanks.

you're welcome, but really, thank YOU.

But seriously, I take people for granted. I nearly only talk to my mum when I want something from her or when I need to rant about a fandom of mine, and other moments I chase her out of my room.

oh gosh why am i posting this
 

:/

I’ve never been embarrassed to be a writer. Not until recently.

I wish I remember when I first realized I was a writer. I don’t really think there was one single moment, actually. I've been making up stories for as long as I can remember. I just eventually got used to coming home from school every day and going straight to my computer or notebook to write down the thoughts and lyrics and short stories my mind had woven together that day. I didn’t really notice when my short stories started to blossom into entire novellas. By the time I started telling my relatives and fellow social outcasts about my stories, I had honestly started to think of myself as an author, a writer, a storyteller. And I loved it.

Now…things just seem…different. I don’t think anything’s changed, though—at least not when I sit down and physically write, when I immerse myself in my story. I have so much fun when I do that, it’s almost indescribable. It’s when people in my life say it out loud that I start feeling strange.

“…kind of like your book.” Eye twitches, breath catches in throat, heart pounds. “How’s your Troodainia book going?” Cringe internally, smile awkwardly, heart races, mutter a quick answer, then change the subject. “Writing any more stories?” Nod slightly, look down, fake a smile, mumble a few book titles, ignore erratic pulse, change the subject. “Oh, you’re a writer?” Stomach flops, jaw clenches, heart pounds, nod slowly, resist urge to find a nice rock to crawl under.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Now, whenever someone mentions it—specifically someone I really look up to—I just want to dig a hole and bury myself in it, so I can just be forgotten.

This feeling is scaring me. I don’t understand it at all. Is it because I know some people don’t want to take me seriously when they hear I’m a writer? Is it because they appear to be almost amused with me? Or is it just because I’m an awkward person who’s just gotten even MORE self-conscious lately? Am I just subconsciously looking for an excuse to stay away from people? Am I getting tired of my own soul story? Am I getting tired of myself?

I honestly have no idea. And that’s what scares me the most.

._.

I just want this feeling to go away, go away, go away—my list of hopelessly confusing feelings is already way too long; I don’t need to add another to the list.

*sigh*



....I usually don't agree with the saying "misery loves company," but I have to admit, if anyone else feels this way, or used to, it would make me feel a lot better about all this. x_x

Well then. ;_;

I can't help that feeling but... good luck. D:

I'm obviously not going to stop writing--don't worry about that. o_0 And it's not the comments I get on this site that bother me. In all honesty, every single one of them really make my day, and it thrills me every time someone asks me about WOT. It's only off the computer that I feel embarrassed. (In case I wasn't clear enough before. *le too sleepy to make sense derpderp*)

I really don't know what to say...

That's perfectly okay. I don't know what to say anymore, either. XD XD DX DX

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...fhi2o1_500.gif

I find it completely impossible to trust anyone but myself on April Fools' Day.

ewe

Even YouTube is pranking people this year. *groans*