I've pretty much lost all interest in writing and now the only talent/thing I'm interested in is filmmaking

It sucks because I want to like writing. In fifth grade and whatever everyone was saying stuff like, "You're going to be a writer when you grow up." And I thought so to, but now I don't really know.

I could probably write something and it could be okay, but I wouldn't really enjoy making it. I'm fine with scriptwriting though, because it's simpler and just feels more natural.

But at the same time I don't want to give up writing stories :/

psh long term goals are overrated just do whatever tf u want

(( psst she said she also wanted to hear from me c: )) I can see how that would be frustrating.
I believe that some people think they can't control their sexual orientation, and other people say they can. It's their opinion. I won't judge. But I am against homosexuality, but I will accept the homosexuals. There's a difference. The Bible says homosexuality is an abomination in I think Leviticus? I am fine with people's lifestyles and choices, whether or not they're arguably bad in my opinion. God gave us a choice.

Sorry, I was just confused when you said you were against homosexuality. it just doesn't make very much sense to be against the way someone is or was born, but if you believe it's a choice then I don't know what to say to you. Thanks for not being judgmental and I hope there's no hard feelings here.


also I wrote a rant

http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-c...arm-1857156346

i'm a horrible person

shush nooo you are a totally fabulous girl with gorgeous makeup skills and yup anyway I want u to know that I like you a whole lot and I think you're an awesome person sorry this was not helpful bye

'Course not, darling. Also! About cutting: Instead of cutting yourself, do this. I heard it works to hold an ice cube in your hand and let it melt. It destroys the urge to cut in this way. Try it c:

Something that has been making me feel basically every emotion in the book lately is Troye Sivan. He started as a youtuber, but eventually got signed after he posted one of his songs on youtube. In summer 2014, Troye released an EP called TRXYE and gained a LOT of popularity. Just few months ago, he released another EP called WILD, along with a three part music video series called Blue Neighbourhood. Just a week or so ago, Troye released his debut album, Blue Neighborhood, and I swear I haven't stopped with the on and off tears and being emotional since then. He's one of those artists who creates these brilliant songs that anyone and everyone can relate to. Relating to music is really huge to me and I'm really not sure why. The songs that I love the most are the songs that I can relate to the most. Needless to say, I'm in love with every single one of his songs but I've fallen especially hard for this album. All of the songs on it are so raw and emotional and I still can't help but tear up when I listen to them. On the other side of things, I'm also emotional because of how far Troye has come. I started watching his videos in 2013 when he was a very little tuber who posted little comedy sketches about procrastinating and being addicted to tumblr. Now, he has two incredible EPs and a FRICKING ALBUM OUT. I'm just so very proud of little Troye. So few people his age (he's 20) have the ambition that he has to get out there and make something of them self. I honestly look up to him and admire him so much. I never tire of his music and I'll support him in everything he does forever and always. please pleaSE PLEASE check out his stuff if for some ungodly reason you haven't yet. I swear you won't regret it. Okay I'm done now, sorry to be a bother.

JESUS I LOVE TROYE

my fav song off of BN is blue

god ok i need some advice if anyone has any. so as y'all probs know i hurt myself blah blah im getting help but my friend has recently started doing it too: i dont know what to do. its so hard to help someone else when you dont have the motivation to live but youre expected to help your friend with the same thing you struggle with. what should i do?? :/ its just tough because im so stressed by my own current issues that i just donf have any energy left to deal with others'.

yooo tbh put yourself first okay!! if you can't help someone with something that's perfectly fine and it doesn't make you selfish. but maybe talk to them about getting support from another place or person, even if it's just venting to another friend who also understands, or talking to people online or sth? :0 (lmk if you don't want me to quote this !!)

also on the topic of blue neighborhood i love it so much holy shit troye is one of my favs ahhh

you should look up papercut by zedd it features him and it's amazing

god so exams start tomorrow and im stressed through the roof rn

i have so many review packets an so much work and sooo much pressure im just struggling severely

i haven't studied anything

also i have a greek final that i am absolutely screwed for

eh same

and that sounds terrifying

I have the SSAT on Saturday and I am so so so stressed out right now. I know all the math on there, and I should know the vocabulary, but I have to do a giant review while working on applications and reading up on schools and visiting them and there's also the Nutcracker and I've been busy with that so everything is a giant mess right now. Sorry

first off i am sorry if you guys are feeling awful rn.. just know that i care for each and every one of you and pray that you guys are doing well :)

just want to share some happy news :)

so i have been doing theatre for 7 years now and everyone has been telling me "oh my gosh why aren't you a lead?' "you're SOO good why are you in ensemble"? all these things and i don't believe them and i just smile and nod because every show i have been in i have either been in the chorus or a speciality dancer.. and i love theatre and i love my friends there but lately i have been doubting really what i should do if my entire career is going to consist of singing the melody in ensemble...

so this past week i tried out for Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...my like 13th audition and the one i was most stressed out about. this is because i felt like i could actually get a role since i have a "pretty good" voice and i have a ballet background. i was hoping to get a bride (there are 6 supporting brides and then Milly who is the main lead fyi). but i was soooo scared because there was so much competition for this show! amazing singers and dancers and actors were auditioning and i was doubting my chance for any type of role at all. the competition was very high for this show, bc people from all areas of my tether were coming to audition. Auditions went really, really well. i was so surprised honestly. two directors that i admire (who were not directing the show tho) made a point to come up to me and compliment me on my audition. i felt pretty good. i felt better when i got a call back! it went pretty good i thought, but as always after every call back you doubt every single stupid thing you did. for the next two days i could not sleep or do anything bc i was punching myself for the "mistakes" i did and praying to God that i could get a part.
two days later the cast list came out.. and guys I got Milly.. the lead. i cannot even tell you how stoked, excited, nervous, emotional i was that night.. so many people called me to congratulate me.. i went deaf from all of my friends screaming at me.. it was so beautiful to see how supported and loved i was. at that time i did nothing and people were already telling me i was going to do a fantastic job and i deserved it and WOW i still cannot believe it.

so this is to those people who feel like giving up after years and years of trying.. hard work pays off lovelies. never ever give up on something you believe in.
a quote i love is "if you think about quitting, think about why you started".
i believe in you guys :) (and sorry if this sounds super stuck-upish that was not the intention at all, i just want to share something exciting in my life and hope it inspires you all)

oh my goodness I'm so happy for you!! congrats! I'm sure you'll be amazing (:

Yay Fuzzy! Congrats!!!!!!

hey guise anyone have advice for being calm for/getting through finals, preparing for finals, and quickly memorizing stuff? h e l p. bc I don't want to freak out on finals, I want to do well on finals, and for orchestra I have a final that comes from 3 pages of music terms we didn't learn in class or anything so.

I would greatly appreciate any and all advice because my finals start in roughly 34.5 hours

Breaks!! They seem counterproductive but breaks are actually so important. Just make sure they aren't too long. Stretch, get a cup of tea or a snack, jog in place. Just give your brain a rest for a bit. Also, try to allow yourself to be rewarded when you do something right. It makes you feel so much better. Once you've finished a task that's taken a while take a break and allow yourself to feel accomplished. Brag to a family member or friend or whatever. Make an obnoxious post on kidpub about how many music terms you know. You accomplished something. You are the master of that subject now. Lord and master of music: make everyone bow down to your genius.

Do not procrastinate! Use the library. It's quiet, there aren't many distractions, ask your parents to drop you off for a bit to get some work done without the distractions you have at home.

For me making my studying more interesting helps. Make up weird mnemonics. Make up stories. (i.e., for geography I would make up stories using the shape and name of countries to remember where they were). Make it a game (play vocab go fish with friends.... "do you have the powerhouse of the cell" "No, I do not have any mitochondria. Go fish"... got this idea from tumblr not gonna lie but it's a good one). I like to get competitive and do games like jeopardy or cranium just because that makes it fun for me but do what you like. Flash cards are always a classic. If you're visual, draw diagrams. Recopy notes. Color code. Whatever you feel will help. Memorize until you can't get it wrong.

Sleep. Honestly I don't sleep during finals much but if you have a good night of sleep it does help your focus so much for the test.

Find practice problems for math. Ask your teacher for a study guide or practice test or something or just pick random problems from your previous homework assignments and redo them. For the sections you're having problems with do more problems.

ahh that's all I can think of I don't know if that's what you want but I hope this helps somewhat. Also if you feel like you didn't do that well on your test for whatever it is not the end of the world. Chill. You're still great. The world is still your oyster.
Good luck! As long as you study you'll be fine.

i only have two finals left sigh, i feel you though! i'm completely awful at memorizing but this is what helps me:

quizlet!! is so good, idk if you've used this before but basically it lets you make flashcards with definitions or terms and meanings, and you can test yourself in several different ways, it's really good! also get the app on your phone, it syncs super fast and you can go through the terms whenever you have a chance

also with quizlet, if studying by yourself doesn't really work and you get distracted, ask someone to test you! that helps a lot for me tbh

it may seem counterproductive to like, make things a day-ish before your exam? but for me it kind of helps because you're actually transferring the knowledge instead of reading the textbook

but if you do have textbooks, highlight! highlight stuff asap and then the night before your exam go through all the highlighted bits, it's so much easier and i think there's science behind it too, the color is easier to remember or something? rip

also also, remembering things by association is so much easier! for my bio final today i literally only remembered where the pancreas was because i was like "damn that looks like a leaf" so yeah! if you're a visual learner, associate it with something it looks like/ if youre an auditory learner, say it out loud

diagrams are important for sciences especially, if you can illustrate it you'll still be able to sort of put together an answer in words and it's easier to picture what's going on if you have it in front of you!

as for the actual finals, don't stress too much, get /some/ sleep (even if it's only a few hours... i took my bio final on one and a half hour of sleep and it went pretty good!!), and go through your notes quickly in the morning if you freak out about forgetting things. you definitely won't forget it during the actual final tho; if you've seen the material before you will be able to recall some of it during the exam when u have more adrenaline idkkkk

also, keep everything you need for the exam in ur bag before you go to sleep, nothing sucks more than forgetting your calculator before an exam where you need it (i messed up some working out for econ because of that... rip)

& everything that ember said tbh!! good luck with ur finals :0

oh yeah finals I just remembered I have a twenty question review to do bfore tomorrow crap

This is stupid this is stupid
I'm 135 pounds this is the weight where I stopped eating this was my breaking point last time I feel like crying or throwing up or taking a burning hot shower anything
I know I'm not overweight this is a healthy weight I am not fat I am not fat this is perfectly healthy for my height I am healthy I am fine I am beautiful don't go back i thought i was over this
I will not starve myself again I don't deserve that my body doesn't deserve that I'm sorry for wasting your time sorry sorry

heck girl you're awesome
i will always will remember you as one of teh best writing partners ever
way to pull yourself up
honestly, i can't say i have been where you have been or feel what you feel but i know its hard
and im so proud that your fighting through it
okay was just checking on this place... ahh *wipes tears from eyes dramatically* memoriesss
but i wanted to make sure everyone was good and say hi real quick
so. hi c:
i miss you dear

@ember and venika thanks for the advice guys :)

You're not fat; you have fat. You also have fingernails, but that doesn't make you fingernails. Here's a smol tip: Try eating slower than usual. Not only does it help lose weight, but it makes you feel fuller. c:

you literally just take exams and keep fucking taking exams so you can get your goddamn high school diploma so you can go to college, where you take more fucking exams so you can graduate and get a job, and then you work and take more exams until you die.

but I guess you're trying to get to where you want to go after high school, so that you can then do what you want in your life...? don't really understand this but.

yeah the education system is fucked up, exams aren't even a great measure of intelligence and capability anyway, and a lot of people don't even get to do what they want in life bc /it doesnt make enough money/ so there IS no point, but oh well capitalism screws everyone over so

also youre welcome B)

yeah so true lol

ah fuck this is what happened to me in history

i'm just so nervous and awful and wired and everything is so staticky and loud in my brain and i don't know how to handle it

I feel you, girl.
Taking a bath might help. Listening to music probably won't help, but if you place it very far away and just listen to some soft melodies it might help you relax.
Pajamas are always relevant to everything, too. ;)

I don't even know anymore. I don't know what any of this is. I had a crush on a girl, once, but it was more emotional and "I want to hold your hand" then any crush I've ever had on a boy. Those crushes were all flirting, butterflies in my stomach. But that other one was deeper, more meaningful. But I've had countless crushes on boys, and only that one deep crush on a girl. At this point I don't know what to do anymore.

As a sidenote, that seems to be the only acceptable answer to "who do you like?"

ah ahh I actually just did all of that and it made me feel a little better (: thank you, kind soul

I am not going to cut today.

i don't think i've said that to myself in a long time. but it's true c: