It's not. Because even if you are a bitch or whatever (you still haven't told me why you think that, but it's not my business), you're awesome enough at school to have tons of friends who love you for what you are.

Yes, it is. I AM a bitch--and oh, I haven't told you why? Remind me to email you that... >_> I'm awesome at SCHOOL but at-school me isn't REAL me and so all of my friends might as well not be there if they don't even know what they as;glhsadgl. D: I can't say this without sounding horrible, I don't know, probably because it IS horrible but ugh. I'm not saying they have to know every single side of me because then I would have no friends at all, but if I'm just acting all the time then it's like making friends with a mask.

Okay, then they love you for what you AREN'T. I don't know. If I found out some deep, dark secret about you, I swearing to fooking god I will stand by you, Heather.
Email me now? Or not a good time?

Yeah, and that sucks, because I AM. >_> If you say so. I really think it matters what the deep, dark secret IS. :P
Uh. Eh. Maybe tomorrow. My mom's yelling for me to get off the computer and get ready for bed, so...

That friend is not worth having.
Find some other friends. Don't ask me how. I don't know how I made them.
And try not to worry about your friendship with the other girl. That's just make everything really awkward around her. Act natural. Don't worry.

Ugh, if she's going to be like that, she's not a real friend.
Sisters before misters.

And you can laugh in her face when they break up.

OOOooooOOO
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m525m1P5Qa1r6sr3h.gif

And you can be all like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE

In short, don't worry about her. She's not worth it.
Also I like your signature. Great song. :3

Dx
*Super mega glomp hug*
I'm really glad you're happy now. Don't cut again, please… Dx
I AM PROUD OF YOU. REALLY.

And I as well! Happiness is a choice, and it's really if you choose to be happy or sit around moping all day. And you chose the former when you could've chosen the latter. You have done better than I have, young grasshoppere, and continue to tread on this path. :D

I doubt I will. At least, for a while. I used to think that I needed a "right" to be sad, so I think this was my attempt to give myself an excuse. But I sort of found out tonight that everyone has a right to be both sad AND happy, and I dunno, I just feel glad I discovered that all on my own. Like..everything that's kept me down over this past year--the "no-right-to-cry" thing, my weight ('cause yes, I'm fat, and I don't really give a sh*t :I)--it feels like all I needed was to figure it out on my own. You don't normally hear this stuff from others, and when you do, (or at least when I do), it doesn't help. It had to be with me and me alone.

Wow. Okay. That actually helped me clear some stuff up in my head. Awesome. ^_^

XX, (and LST), thanks. :3 I'm just like...bah. I'm so happy. X3

And hey, XX, like you said, happiness is a choice. It may not be easy, but count your blessings and do the best for yourself. Let yourself hurt, but don't hurt yourself, if that makes any sense. XD

Nope.
Nope nope nope.
That line "I deserve all of this".
You deserve a right to feel sad, but you don't deserve pain. You deserve to feel depressed and you deserve to tell someone and for someone to help you; you deserve to let it out and you deserve to cry and you deserve to scream and you deserve all this because you deserve to be happy, too. You deserve help. You deserve love. Everyone does. Don't think you're any less than anyone else. Don't you dare. You are just as important as anyone else, despite what some may say. They have problems, too, but they don't know how to get rid of them properly.
You deserve to be happy, Calla, so don't be sorry for trying to get something you deserve.

Maybe . . . . but I don't know who to tell. I would die if I told my family and my friends think I'm all happy with sparkles and bright colors when really, I'm a dark pit inside. Only my best friend knows this, and frankly, I don't think she cares. Besides, I couldn't vent to her since most of my vents are . . . . well, about her.
Thank you, though ;~;

Tell a friend, even if they think you're all sparkles and rainbows and unicorns. Maybe it's time to let that dark pit show so she/he and help pull you out of it.
You're gonna be alright, hun. Just know that there is always someone that loves you. Even if you don't want them involved, they love you and care about you and will always be there for you. And you deserve them. :3

I IZ proud of you! ^_^
I used to cut because I'm angry and etching (most preferably with a knife) marks on something helps me release anger. Now I stab or punch walls.
The other reason that I used to cut was that I was really insecure and shaky, but listening to songs that give an aura of 'I don't give a shit' helps, especially if I sing along.
You and I, my friend, shall never cut again. /nods

I hate it when my parents talk about me like they think I can't hear them.

No, you don't deserve pain. No one days. Maybe regret, but I don't think you really deserve that either.
And it's okay that you don't post in reply to others that much… Sometimes it's hard to help others if you need help yourself.
Dx
*Hugs*

Today, I accidentally told my friend about this circus thing I was invited to help with, and she was really sad because even though she's epic at all the circus stuff, she wasn't invited. She was really sad, and she kept wondering if she did something wrong, and why wasn't she invited... she does things like this a lot, and even though I was super supportive on the outside, on the inside I was like, "Calm down, bitch! Everything's not always about you." But now I feel reaaaalllllly bad for thinking it. ;-;

Meh, that's kind of how I felt... like, I kept trying to tell her that she'd done NOTHING wrong and it was just a matter of siblings and parents and OTHER people, but she kept going back to 'but what if I did something wrong and THAT'S why G didn't invite me...'
My god, the things I miss when I'm gone for like two days. xD
BUT C.T.: Two things, hon...
1) DON'T CUT YOURSELF. D:
2) Good job. Now stay happy. (I know it's not always that easy, but just... try. ._.)


so this girl i barely even know was a complete bitch to me today, TWICE, and she's gonna hold a grudge because she's that kind of person and i can't take this shit and i jusglsagjlsagh can't deal with this fucking idiocy and i keep trying to tell myself it doesn't fucking matter but it does and it shouldn't and it's one of thisoaghl;wasghlsdghlds

Wait..... who?

I'm horrible speaking my feelings ;~; But I guess I do need too..... yikes XD

Thanks. :3 We've all got our sh*t goin' on, but y'know. Happiness is pretty awesome. xD

Tell her that's she's being a complete b*tch, and if she keeps acting like that, tell her to f*ck off. She might just be just naturally idiotic.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md...ntmqo1_500.gif

Simple as that. XD

Yeah, it's hard. Just tell a friend or two you're close to. (I told two of my best friends today. Ended up digging up a few long-lost memories of them cutting themselves too. :I But it helps.)

Tis indeed. :'D

No, she seems to be under the impression that I am the stupid one, and, if I press the matter further, it will undoubtedly lead to me crying in a bathroom at school somewhere. >_>

She basically said at lunch that Maria and I looked alike, which Maria and I both agreed wasn't true. I told her, "That's not true!" and she was all "Well that's rude to Maria" and I was like "...but I didn't say she was ugly" and she was all "it's still rude." I said, "But what gives you the impression I think I'm pretty? If I don't think I'm pretty then it's not an insult, is it?" and she's like "don't tell me what's rude and what's not rude, you're being rude RIGHT NOW. also that doesn't even MAKE SENSE." and it went back and forth like that for a good while until she started being even meaner and sassier and I said, "this isn't worth my time, seeing as you're being completely illogical" and she said, "YOU'RE the one who's talking to ME" (though technically, she'd started it) and "YOU'RE the one who's being rude, anyways" so I was all WTF and waved it off. then at Ex-Day they'd set up some stupid arts and crafts table and I was bored so I was shredding paper into tiny pieces next to Hannah, and B came up next to me to make her bag. I didn't really care about that and just started randomly flicking the pieces of paper around, and one must've landed on B's bag, though I didn't notice till after she threw her hissy fit. she was all "did you just DO that?" and I was like "...do what?" and she said, "you KNOW what you did" and by that time I'd gathered, oops, yeah, a piece of paper the size of a pencil tip landed on your crafts project, who gives a crap? and she basically blew a gasket at me and starting bitching about personal space... then she calmed down enough to throw her bag at Hafsah. So, whatever. I don't know. It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did but... it did. And I kind of felt like crying because it hadn't exactly been the most perfect day and I was still emotionally unstable like I've been for almost the past two weeks. Ugh.

Well- I think she has mood swings. I don't know. I feel bad for you, but she was amazing when we were doing sound effects. She was kinda a b*tch when I first met her too, but it's obviously better now. I don't know... I mean....

I'm too anxious to sleep... anyone wanna chat?

I'm actually under my covers pretending to be asleep right now... sure.

I just...
MY FEELS
assdsdfdgfhffgdbhfgshghjhgfds
;_;

...And here come the tears...

Sdgvbvshncedgjfwykjfdryhv
That's been me lately.
What's up?

Tis only 8:20 where I live. >:D

I'm going to play The Walking Dead: Episode 5 tomorrow (when it's released on my console) and the anxiety is killing me. TWD is really more like a movie than a game and it's really depressing and djsacdams xkdjams acksfdm,af.jsekfl;dgj,fklbgljrfd,nkl.bsgnf,.nh kb,fgd,gmfd

It's so sad! And just... my favorite characters might die, and I just dunno.