The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

HeatherB 08-04-2012 08:55 PM

If we're naming the toucan, why can't we name the brown bird and the two butterflies? (Request: Can the butterfly on the left be named Hubert?)

GabiDi 08-04-2012 08:59 PM

I don't like it, either. :p

lvhamsters 08-04-2012 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 326657)
If we're naming the toucan, why can't we name the brown bird and the two butterflies? (Request: Can the butterfly on the left be named Hubert?)

I think they're actually birds too :3
I think Kevin is an awesome name ^O^

LaurenM 08-04-2012 09:16 PM

I'm apathetic.

MaryElizabeth 08-04-2012 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruza (Post 326656)
I hate the toucan, too. It's completely irrelevant, and so completely random that you're just like, "What? A toucan? On a writing forum?"

Precisely. Plus, it reminds me of the stickers they put on the walls at a day care.

Rockshadow 08-04-2012 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 326665)
I think they're actually birds too :3
I think Kevin is an awesome name ^O^

I do too. :) Especially for a bird.

Sandy 08-04-2012 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 326581)
Thanks... :/ I think she does, she's just... ugh. I love her because she's my mom. As a person... I don't.

I can relate.
I can definitely, definitely relate.
I don't have the heart to say I don't love her as a person (she's yelled at me too much for me to think I can possibly do that), so I'll just say that her good and bad points are very... extreme, but I still love her no matter what she does to me.
When I was younger, in my most personality-shaping years, she was going through this weird depression and my brother was too young to know what was going on (finally, after years of wondering, she FINALLY told me this) and she was so unpredictable. I would do something, step out somehow, cross one line, and she would absolutely explode. If she was in the kitchen, she would grab the thing closest to her and hurl it across the room (I remember she took sauce and threw it at the floor and it broke and got everywhere), and I remember one time she was helping me get ready for school in the bathroom and I got soap shoved into my mouth and my head stuffed in the toilet... (I think I told someone about that on here before...)
I'm pretty freaking sure that, because of her crazy temperament and the way she would slam her fists against the walls and corner me in the closet (where I would always hide), that's why I've got the problems I have now. And oh, the lectures I would get... she would grab me by my collar if we were in public, yank me off to the side and growl whatever she was gonna say into my ear... and ahhaha, that one time we got into an actual physical fight last year and she grabbed me and shoved me out the door... ._. PLus some other stuff...
I'm glad that she seems to be settling down but I could never understand why she couldn't contain her temper like my dad could, who was the master at it. I guess it was because in her family, she was treated the same way...
I'm actually shocked that I'm not the only one who gets the "you're so selfish and unappreciative" lectures. XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 326594)
Sorted, my dad was just being melodramatic.

Thank god. o_o I was reading it and getting worried... I'm one of those kids who has always been terrified of my parents' marriage, ANY marriage being somehow broken up...

GabiDi 08-04-2012 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 326674)
I can relate.
I can definitely, definitely relate.
I don't have the heart to say I don't love her as a person (she's yelled at me too much for me to think I can possibly do that), so I'll just say that her good and bad points are very... extreme, but I still love her no matter what she does to me.
When I was younger, in my most personality-shaping years, she was going through this weird depression and my brother was too young to know what was going on (finally, after years of wondering, she FINALLY told me this) and she was so unpredictable. I would do something, step out somehow, cross one line, and she would absolutely explode. If she was in the kitchen, she would grab the thing closest to her and hurl it across the room (I remember she took sauce and threw it at the floor and it broke and got everywhere), and I remember one time she was helping me get ready for school in the bathroom and I got soap shoved into my mouth and my head stuffed in the toilet... (I think I told someone about that on here before...)
I'm pretty freaking sure that, because of her crazy temperament and the way she would slam her fists against the walls and corner me in the closet (where I would always hide), that's why I've got the problems I have now. And oh, the lectures I would get... she would grab me by my collar if we were in public, yank me off to the side and growl whatever she was gonna say into my ear... and ahhaha, that one time we got into an actual physical fight last year and she grabbed me and shoved me out the door... ._. PLus some other stuff...
I'm glad that she seems to be settling down but I could never understand why she couldn't contain her temper like my dad could, who was the master at it. I guess it was because in her family, she was treated the same way...
I'm actually shocked that I'm not the only one who gets the "you're so selfish and unappreciative" lectures. XD



Thank god. o_o I was reading it and getting worried... I'm one of those kids who has always been terrified of my parents' marriage, ANY marriage being somehow broken up...


Oh Sandy, I'm so sorry. :/ That sucks even worse than my parent situation.

I think a lot of people do get that lecture... xD

Tiresomehoopla 08-04-2012 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 326572)
Yesterday my friend called and asked if I wanted to go to the lake today at three. I asked my mom, "Can I go to the lake with Kenzie at three tomorrow?" and she thought about it and said yes. Today at 12 she tells me she's decided she doesn't feel like driving down there, and I should be more considerate and actually think about her for once, regardless of her actually saying yes to it. And one things turns into the next and before I know it she's calling me a selfish bitch, because that's what she does when she's upset, and storming out, and then my dad wants to take us all to lunch and I just can't bear to be in the freaking car with her especially when she keeps talking about how I'm so spoiled and this is all my fault and I just get out of the car and walk back inside and hide for ten minutes until they finally drive away and now I'm a mess and I just need someone to talk to and ughh I really hate this, I hate this, I want to move out.

"You're one to talk." Is an ideal phrase in this situation.

Of course unless you want to stay out of trouble.

Which seems inaviodable anyways :(

GabiDi 08-04-2012 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiresomehoopla (Post 326684)
"You're one to talk." Is an ideal phrase in this situation.

Of course unless you want to stay out of trouble.

Which seems inaviodable anyways :(

Eh, we've managed to not talk about it for long enough that we're at the point where we CAN talk to each other without exploding, and I don't want to screw that up... so I'll just store that away for the next fight. :rolleyes:

Sandy 08-04-2012 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 326675)
Oh Sandy, I'm so sorry. :/ That sucks even worse than my parent situation.

I think a lot of people do get that lecture... xD

It's okay, I was gonna post a vent about it on here anyways. :) It's all in the past and I bounced back fast back then (... okay that's a straight up lie, I had a bad case of childhood anxiety (maybe even depression but I doubt it) because, as a young kid it would take me three to four hours to fall asleep, and I would stay awake and think about death and get so scared, and I would worry at all hours of the day and night that my brother was dying or I was dying or that someone was going to die, whenever my parents left the house for a little bit I would say goodbye to them like it was the last time I would ever see them and I still can't forget the horrible guilt I felt all the time, like everything was my fault and if I did even the slightest thing wrong I deserved to die... depressing stuff like that... >_> I was a depressing kid...), even though I'm paying the price now. I just don't understand... each child is a clean slate, a fresh canvas... and after all the reading I've done on psychology that involves how much parents influence a person, my mom seemed to forget this... Thank god my dad was so composed. I can't imagine what would have become of us if he were like her... O_O
But anyways... I'm rambling... even though I'm paying the price now, like I said, it's all in the past. (I doubt that anyone even bothered to read this far, but I don't mind XD)

I always assumed I was the only one. ;w; Yaay, I'm not alone... (*flails happily*) I just tune out those lectures. -____-
But about what your mom did, my mom is like the master of doing that, especially to my brother... He'll ask for something and she'll say yes, and when it actually comes time to doing it she'll say no. She's done it to me and lectured me on the EXACT SAME STUFF. -_-' But about the stuff she called you, parents don't realize how much it actually hurts. Most kids don't even realize how much it hurts.

GabiDi 08-04-2012 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 326686)
It's okay, I was gonna post a vent about it on here anyways. :) It's all in the past and I bounced back fast back then (... okay that's a straight up lie, I had a bad case of childhood anxiety (maybe even depression but I doubt it) because, as a young kid it would take me three to four hours to fall asleep, and I would stay awake and think about death and get so scared, and I would worry at all hours of the day and night that my brother was dying or I was dying or that someone was going to die, whenever my parents left the house for a little bit I would say goodbye to them like it was the last time I would ever see them and I still can't forget the horrible guilt I felt all the time, like everything was my fault and if I did even the slightest thing wrong I deserved to die... depressing stuff like that... >_> I was a depressing kid...), even though I'm paying the price now. I just don't understand... each child is a clean slate, a fresh canvas... and after all the reading I've done on psychology that involves how much parents influence a person, my mom seemed to forget this... Thank god my dad was so composed. I can't imagine what would have become of us if he were like her... O_O
But anyways... I'm rambling... even though I'm paying the price now, like I said, it's all in the past. (I doubt that anyone even bothered to read this far, but I don't mind XD)

I always assumed I was the only one. ;w; Yaay, I'm not alone... (*flails happily*) I just tune out those lectures. -____-
But about what your mom did, my mom is like the master of doing that, especially to my brother... He'll ask for something and she'll say yes, and when it actually comes time to doing it she'll say no. She's done it to me and lectured me on the EXACT SAME STUFF. -_-' But about the stuff she called you, parents don't realize how much it actually hurts. Most kids don't even realize how much it hurts.

I did the stuff in bold, too. All the time. I recently stopped, but it still takes me hours to fall asleep even when I'm exhausted, and I never know why...

Oh my gosh, I know right?! And then they say you're inconsiderate for not, apparently, reading their mind and realizing that when they say "yes" they mean "I'll say yes to shut you up, but obviously it's a NO"... :p

It's weird, because my mom yells at me for saying "screw up" in any context, and yet I've learned all my cuss words from her. So.

Sandy 08-04-2012 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 326689)
I did the stuff in bold, too. All the time. I recently stopped, but it still takes me hours to fall asleep even when I'm exhausted, and I never know why...

Oh my gosh, I know right?! And then they say you're inconsiderate for not, apparently, reading their mind and realizing that when they say "yes" they mean "I'll say yes to shut you up, but obviously it's a NO"... :p

It's weird, because my mom yells at me for saying "screw up" in any context, and yet I've learned all my cuss words from her. So.

Ugh... and the worst was that, even though she knew that I had become such a rule-freak and paranoid, nervous, anxious child, she would go OUT OF HER WAY to worry me and be the least careful person she could possibly be. -____-
Thank god my sleeping patterns are going back to normal... I'm sorry I can't say the same for you. :(

Yeah... ._. And how, because they gave birth to you and feed you and house you and pay for you, they deserve everything else... Come on, parents! You're not done raising me yet! Why are you relaxing now? I mean, I do my chores, I'm not (always) snippy... I guess they think that emotionally unstable teenagers can take stuff easily... ._.
Ohhhh, the cusses I've learned from my mom... If it was only my dad who cussed, I would only know the f-bomb and what rhymes with sit and is brown... But ohhhh, the words my mother has added to my vocabulary... I could WRITE urban dictionary!

Rockshadow 08-04-2012 10:47 PM

I am so annoyed....whenever someone from One Direction comes on, they ALWAYS blow up my notifications. (the fangirls, not the actual guys) I'm like, "seriously?? He can't make everyone happy now stfu!!!'

08-05-2012 03:59 PM

I don't understand how parents expect us to "tell them everything and anything", when all they do is judge us. o.o

CrazyCat 08-05-2012 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 326778)
I don't understand how parents expect us to "tell them everything and anything", when all they do is judge us. o.o



Yeah, it sucks. But parents can also be sweet sometimes, if they're in a good mood.

I'm taller than my mom now. :D

HeatherB 08-05-2012 04:46 PM

Today's just one of those days. :(

lvhamsters 08-05-2012 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 326778)
I don't understand how parents expect us to "tell them everything and anything", when all they do is judge us. o.o

I know right? I've just gotten to the point where I hide in my room all day and not tell them anything. My parents are being jerks currently. Like my dad gave me a huge speech on how all my friends are losers and therefore implying that I am a loser. I feel like I barely know him anymore. Then again he's only home two days a week, but still. I'm sick of him. I know it's not right but I find myself waiting for him to leave ....

TheAshWolf 08-05-2012 06:00 PM

Wishing people around me spoke Korean. ;_;
 
[at a fast-food place, waiting for my food to finish frying]

Me: *bored* >_> *sings to self* Jigum naega hanun yaegi, neol apuge halji molla...

Weird guy: *sitting at the table next to mine*
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2os61J9jB1qdn352.gif
*creepy-chewing-face*

Me: O_o .... ^_^ *switches songs* I don't ca-a-a-a-are, I don't ca-a-a-a-are!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6...f3yno1_500.gif

[later, as I walk out the door]
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1itziGvVP1qg39ji.gif

Sandy 08-06-2012 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 326867)
[at a fast-food place, waiting for my food to finish frying]

Me: *bored* >_> *sings to self* Jigum naega hanun yaegi, neol apuge halji molla...

[/IMG]

K-pop is cool, it has a good beat, but... I don't know... I guess I'm not the right kind of person... because every time I watch K-pop it always looks like this to me:
http://gifs.imgdumpr.com/wp-content/.../wtf-japan.gif

Then again, I come from a place where the heavier the metal, the better... XD XD (*sobs because I am the only metalhead I know*)
In fact, I think I know how to scare everyone off this thread... just post a gif of a band I like. XD
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...l0dko1_500.gif

(*poker face*)
(*breaks down*)
EVANESCENCE, THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!

nngo 08-06-2012 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327018)
K-pop is cool, it has a good beat, but... I don't know... I guess I'm not the right kind of person... because every time I watch K-pop it always looks like this to me:
http://gifs.imgdumpr.com/wp-content/.../wtf-japan.gif

Then again, I come from a place where the heavier the metal, the better... XD XD (*sobs because I am the only metalhead I know*)
In fact, I think I know how to scare everyone off this thread... just post a gif of a band I like. XD
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...l0dko1_500.gif

(*poker face*)
(*breaks down*)
EVANESCENCE, THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Haha, metal bands. Their attire is often more creative and pleasant than Nicki Minaj's.

What, did Evanescence get you into metal? *glances in paranoia at the Evanescence and Avenged Sevenfold and Nightwish that I listen to*

*is suddenly flashbacked to remember a metalhead dating sight in which I have no opinion of*

On the other hand, for emotional venting, I just had a freaky dream. *whimpers* Ants. The whole plot was centered around following ants and them attacking stuff. And at the very end, moths clung to my face and tried to get in my body via my eyes, mouth, nose, ears, and for some reason, fingernails.

TheAshWolf 08-06-2012 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327018)
K-pop is cool, it has a good beat, but... I don't know... I guess I'm not the right kind of person... because every time I watch K-pop it always looks like this to me:
[/IMG]

Then again, I come from a place where the heavier the metal, the better... XD XD (*sobs because I am the only metalhead I know*)
In fact, I think I know how to scare everyone off this thread... just post a gif of a band I like. XD
[/IMG]

(*poker face*)
(*breaks down*)
EVANESCENCE, THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!

O_O WHAT THE...what.......I don't even....*stares at the GIF*
XDD I don't know how to respond to that. Other than...I gotta say, you haven't been watching the right K-Pop music videos, if they remind you of THAT.

o.0 Guy with a knife. 8D Now THAT I can respond to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_lS...ailpage#t=189s
NAEGA JEIL JAL NAGA! :D (I AM THE BEST!)

Evanescene led you to metal? o__o *glances nervously at the Evanescene song in my music library* Nah, I'm kidding, I'm not afraid. XD

Tiresomehoopla 08-06-2012 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327018)
K-pop is cool, it has a good beat, but... I don't know... I guess I'm not the right kind of person... because every time I watch K-pop it always looks like this to me:
http://gifs.imgdumpr.com/wp-content/.../wtf-japan.gif

Then again, I come from a place where the heavier the metal, the better... XD XD (*sobs because I am the only metalhead I know*)
In fact, I think I know how to scare everyone off this thread... just post a gif of a band I like. XD
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...l0dko1_500.gif

(*poker face*)
(*breaks down*)
EVANESCENCE, THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Evanescence Doesn't seem all that heavy to me...No, it's not because I listen to loads of Death Metal :/

nngo 08-06-2012 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiresomehoopla (Post 327223)
Evanescence Doesn't seem all that heavy to me...No, it's not because I listen to loads of Death Metal :/

No, Evanescence isn't really heavy. It's just sort of gothic rock.

nngo 08-06-2012 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327018)
K-pop is cool, it has a good beat, but... I don't know... I guess I'm not the right kind of person... because every time I watch K-pop it always looks like this to me:
http://gifs.imgdumpr.com/wp-content/.../wtf-japan.gif

Then again, I come from a place where the heavier the metal, the better... XD XD (*sobs because I am the only metalhead I know*)
In fact, I think I know how to scare everyone off this thread... just post a gif of a band I like. XD
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...l0dko1_500.gif

(*poker face*)
(*breaks down*)
EVANESCENCE, THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!

By the way, that last gif looks awfully familiar.

Sandy 08-07-2012 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 327024)
Haha, metal bands. Their attire is often more creative and pleasant than Nicki Minaj's.

What, did Evanescence get you into metal? *glances in paranoia at the Evanescence and Avenged Sevenfold and Nightwish that I listen to*

*is suddenly flashbacked to remember a metalhead dating sight in which I have no opinion of*

Yeah, I know. XD (*thinks of Marilyn Manson*) ... Wait, actually, I love Manson... ._.
And yeah... it was the first "darker" music I'd ever listened to and I just went deeper and deeper until I was listening to KoRn and stuff. :P I REGRET NOTHING

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 327076)
O_O WHAT THE...what.......I don't even....*stares at the GIF*
XDD I don't know how to respond to that. Other than...I gotta say, you haven't been watching the right K-Pop music videos, if they remind you of THAT.

o.0 Guy with a knife. 8D Now THAT I can respond to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_lS...ailpage#t=189s
NAEGA JEIL JAL NAGA! :D (I AM THE BEST!)

Evanescene led you to metal? o__o *glances nervously at the Evanescene song in my music library* Nah, I'm kidding, I'm not afraid. XD

HAHAHA! I'm sorry... XD DX
And I saw that one. :3
And yeah. XD (*is amused that everyone is scared of metal, but not surprised*) XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiresomehoopla (Post 327223)
Evanescence Doesn't seem all that heavy to me...No, it's not because I listen to loads of Death Metal :/

No, some of it isn't, but some of it is... o_o Kind of like Linkin Park. They have two extremes... like Evanescence has "Good Enough" on one hand, and "Weight of the World" on the other, just like Linkin Park has "*insert whatever well-known Linkin Park song*" and then "Given Up"... they seem heavier than their usual stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 327227)
By the way, that last gif looks awfully familiar.

o_o

...

..
(*stares*)

... (*wonders if you've seen that video*)

CrazyCat 08-07-2012 07:33 PM

I listened to Bring Me to Life. It's a super good song. :)

Tiresomehoopla 08-07-2012 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327516)
Yeah, I know. XD (*thinks of Marilyn Manson*) ... Wait, actually, I love Manson... ._.
And yeah... it was the first "darker" music I'd ever listened to and I just went deeper and deeper until I was listening to KoRn and stuff. :P I REGRET NOTHING



HAHAHA! I'm sorry... XD DX
And I saw that one. :3
And yeah. XD (*is amused that everyone is scared of metal, but not surprised*) XD



No, some of it isn't, but some of it is... o_o Kind of like Linkin Park. They have two extremes... like Evanescence has "Good Enough" on one hand, and "Weight of the World" on the other, just like Linkin Park has "*insert whatever well-known Linkin Park song*" and then "Given Up"... they seem heavier than their usual stuff.



o_o

...

..
(*stares*)

... (*wonders if you've seen that video*)

I've only listened to their first album, so that could explain a bunch. :3

TheAshWolf 08-07-2012 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 327516)
HAHAHA! I'm sorry... XD DX
And I saw that one. :3
And yeah. XD (*is amused that everyone is scared of metal, but not surprised*) XD

I know this is random, but I wanted to tell you this before I forget. XDD

Someone I know recently was in the hospital (don't freak out--it wasn't serious), and she got all nauseated afterwords from the anesthesia. So, this Russian nurse was all, "Oh, Vodka ees good for nausea. Vhen you get home, drink lots of Vodka." XDD Then she told me, "I mean, c'mon, REALLY? That's such a stereotypical Russian thing to say!" I couldn't help but think of this when she told me that:

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/69641_o.gif

nngo 08-07-2012 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 327580)
I know this is random, but I wanted to tell you this before I forget. XDD

Someone I know recently was in the hospital (don't freak out--it wasn't serious), and she got all nauseated afterwords from the anesthesia. So, this Russian nurse was all, "Oh, Vodka ees good for nausea. Vhen you get home, drink lots of Vodka." XDD Then she told me, "I mean, c'mon, REALLY? That's such a stereotypical Russian thing to say!" I couldn't help but think of this when she told me that:

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/69641_o.gif

Oh yeah. Hetalian Russia.. VODKAAA!

TheAshWolf 08-07-2012 08:51 PM

._.

I've been in this anti-social slump for over two months now, and I FINALLY feel like chatting with someone...but none of my friends are available to talk.

*curls up in a corner*


http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/...ner_of_woe.jpg

Sandy 08-07-2012 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theashwolf (Post 327592)
._.

I've Been In This Anti-social Slump For Over Two Months Now, And I Finally Feel Like Chatting With Someone...but None Of My Friends Are Available To Talk.

*curls Up In A Corner*


http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/...ner_of_woe.jpg

You. Gmail. Now.


(*intense face*)

Sandy 08-07-2012 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 327580)
I know this is random, but I wanted to tell you this before I forget. XDD

Someone I know recently was in the hospital (don't freak out--it wasn't serious), and she got all nauseated afterwords from the anesthesia. So, this Russian nurse was all, "Oh, Vodka ees good for nausea. Vhen you get home, drink lots of Vodka." XDD Then she told me, "I mean, c'mon, REALLY? That's such a stereotypical Russian thing to say!" I couldn't help but think of this when she told me that:

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/69641_o.gif

Me when I saw that gif:
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2lf8dqSwb1r6x0bw.gif

(Yes. Fighting Hetalia with more Hetalia. *me gusta*)

L.S.Trendom 08-07-2012 11:59 PM

Meh… Kinda curious? Annoyed. And a bit fml-ish. And relieved.
 
(the second part isn't meant to cause offence to anyone. It's just… gah.)

I can't hold onto me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
~ Lithium by Evanescence
^ Basically that.
When I'm around other people… I don't feel depressed. I don't really feel anything. Just spazzy, usually. Sometimes a bit nervous/anxious. But thoughts… hardly flow through my head. Few emotions. It's absent. Like… my personality, my self, just ups and leaves. Leaving me just an empty shell. I'm not depressed, usually not self-hating… but it just doesn't effing matter, because I'm hardly there. There's no deepness to me. I'm kind of… flat. Just a spazzy facade. Any teasing, insults? Most of the time they don't matter to me. I don't feel anything toward them.
I've wondered if maybe it's just loneliness causing the depression and stuff, since the empty-spazziness usually only happens when I'm not at home, but… I don't think it is. I feel… empty, around others. It's not a screaming feeling, but if you stop and think… you realise something's wrong. It has to be.
I mean… I can blurt out random things from the deepish part of me, but there's not much feeling behind them. It's not really from the me that speaks the words.
It drives me mad.

I'm sick of living in the middle of Bumblefug*, Nowhere. For nearly the past decade, I've lived in the middle of nowhere, places with few things noteworthy. In a forest, near gravel roads, in an incredibly rural place in Oklahoma. Miles from the nearest town. In uber redneck land. And the other place? Seven miles from the nearest town in pretty rural Missouri, with neighbours I've talked to maybe twice this year.
The local public school, I've heard, really effing sucks and I think I agree: earlier today, I took an achievement test there. It was supposed to to test for all of high school and have questions I wouldn't know the answers to, my mom said.
The toughest/most complicated mathematical problem was y [divided by] 10 = -5
The person giving the test said I was good at math. While I was doing pretty simple addition.
-________________-

There's the fml/f-every-place-I've-lived-in-memory part. The relieved part is because my mom said they were considering putting me in ninth grade, when I should be in tenth. Which would have been very effing bad.


* I BLAME JOHN GREEN. It sounds better than the version ending with a four-letter word, to me. :p


La dee da… Another novel from LST! *Skips away* >_>
*Isn't angsty at the moment* *Instead… apatheticish*

AlgebraAddict 08-08-2012 12:49 AM

And then I see you there
With your arms open wide, and you try to embrace me
These lonely tears I cry
They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me
Cold is the night but
Colder still is the heart made of stone, turned from clay
And if you follow me
You'll see all the black, all the white fade to grey


I can't do it.

I want to go.

Please.

I remember, I remember being half-asleep.

I was in a state where, if I wanted to, I could have gone to sleep.

It was eleven-o-clock at night.

I chose to remain in this peaceful state.

I had flipped the seatbelt behind my back so I could lie down and sleep.

Pillows were stacked high, along with books, my notebook, and a bag of donut holes.

It was too dark to read.

We were somewhere in Idaho.

My sister and I counted the miles till Boise.

We were the only car on the road.

Lights shone in the distance, and we waited patiently for the city to arrive.

I didn't want it to arrive, secretly.

This moment was perfect, the movement of the car soothing.

We had been driving for twelve hours that day.

The music surrounded me as I drifted off to sleep.




My favorite songs change quickly. But I know now what my favorite is. The one that makes me cry, because my life isn't that simple anymore and I want to go on a road trip again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDPuHsOVZws

nngo 08-08-2012 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 327716)
(the second part isn't meant to cause offence to anyone. It's just… gah.)

I can't hold onto me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
~ Lithium by Evanescence
^ Basically that.
When I'm around other people… I don't feel depressed. I don't really feel anything. Just spazzy, usually. Sometimes a bit nervous/anxious. But thoughts… hardly flow through my head. Few emotions. It's absent. Like… my personality, my self, just ups and leaves. Leaving me just an empty shell. I'm not depressed, usually not self-hating… but it just doesn't effing matter, because I'm hardly there. There's no deepness to me. I'm kind of… flat. Just a spazzy facade. Any teasing, insults? Most of the time they don't matter to me. I don't feel anything toward them.
I've wondered if maybe it's just loneliness causing the depression and stuff, since the empty-spazziness usually only happens when I'm not at home, but… I don't think it is. I feel… empty, around others. It's not a screaming feeling, but if you stop and think… you realise something's wrong. It has to be.
I mean… I can blurt out random things from the deepish part of me, but there's not much feeling behind them. It's not really from the me that speaks the words.
It drives me mad.

I'm sick of living in the middle of Bumblefug*, Nowhere. For nearly the past decade, I've lived in the middle of nowhere, places with few things noteworthy. In a forest, near gravel roads, in an incredibly rural place in Oklahoma. Miles from the nearest town. In uber redneck land. And the other place? Seven miles from the nearest town in pretty rural Missouri, with neighbours I've talked to maybe twice this year.
The local public school, I've heard, really effing sucks and I think I agree: earlier today, I took an achievement test there. It was supposed to to test for all of high school and have questions I wouldn't know the answers to, my mom said.
The toughest/most complicated mathematical problem was y [divided by] 10 = -5
The person giving the test said I was good at math. While I was doing pretty simple addition.
-________________-

There's the fml/f-every-place-I've-lived-in-memory part. The relieved part is because my mom said they were considering putting me in ninth grade, when I should be in tenth. Which would have been very effing bad.


* I BLAME JOHN GREEN. It sounds better than the version ending with a four-letter word, to me. :p


La dee da… Another novel from LST! *Skips away* >_>
*Isn't angsty at the moment* *Instead… apatheticish*

Maybe you're not getting enough sleep, ot on some sort of caffeine crash, and loneliness, combined with your sometimes emotionlessness. Because being completely away from most people can sort of be frustrating like that, even for extreme introverts. I'm not sure where the problem really stems from.

Maybe you need to relax. High school might actually do some good, not really with relaxing, but the making-friends-and-having-fun part.

And I will repeat the age old words that people say to people who are about to commit suicide, even though you are not about to commit suicide.

IT GETS BETTER.

No, honestly, it will, and in no time at all, you'll be travelling out of your rural area and off to some apartment in some city with a Dr. Who themed bedroom. Maybe not exactly, but something along the lines of IT GETS BETTER. Even though you're sort of stuck in the middle of your room in the middle of somwhere you don't want to be with a completely empty, devoid-of-emotion feeling. I suggest going to sleep, waking up to a happy song, drinking coffee, and jumping outdoors or doing something you enjoy doing a lot. Or do free writing, getting all your thoughts out without editing anything.

And if you still can't feel a thing, maybe you should watch those 8 minute long videos that challenge you not to laugh and are full of hilarious cat memes. Or request a family member to tickle you. Or get into an argument with a family member until you get mad. If that doesn't work, come back to Kidpub and we'll give you far more extreme measures. ;)

I'm not the best at giving advice and all that schtuff, but um, hopefully that helped.

AlgebraAddict 08-08-2012 12:57 AM

Exactly. And try jumping off swings, too. :D

LaurenM 08-08-2012 01:07 AM

Swing jumping FTW xD
Forests are nice.

AlgebraAddict 08-08-2012 01:21 AM

Or flipping off of swings. >:3

LaurenM 08-08-2012 01:23 AM

How do you do that? O_____o


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