Ember |
06-06-2014 01:14 AM |
Stop force feeding me all of this crap. Stop shoving this food down my throat. I'm not anorexic, I'm just trying to be healthier. Just because I don't eat twenty-four/seven doesn't mean I'm starving myself. I eat enough. That's why I'm freaking fat.
No matter how many times you say I'm beautiful, I'm never going to believe it. So, please, let me wear the clothes that make me feel comfortable. I know they're baggy. I know they're unattractive. You pointing this out and making me put on something else is what has made me feel this way. You make me insecure. I feel alien in my own skin. LET ME DIET, PLEASE. So, what? I'm not obese. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to do something that will make me feel better about myself.
Take no for an answer, please. I don't want your freaking cookies. I don't want ice cream. It's hard enough for me to say no, and you constantly nagging me about eating this crap isn't helping. I'm trying to do something for myself, is that so wrong? I can't even turn to you for help because I know it will just end in a lecture about how I'm "beautiful" and "It's what's on the inside that counts." I've heard that a million times. It doesn't change the fact that I feel fat.
Stop, please. Exercising, dieting, it makes me feel happy. So stop trying to force me to be a kid or whatever. Stop trying to convince me that I'm skinny. I don't care what you think. What matters is how I feel. I'm doing this for myself, not for anyone else. So stop, please.
I know you love me and you say it because you care. But I can't take it anymore. You pointing out that I hide behind my clothes isn't helping. It makes me want to hide even more. I love you for caring but you aren't helping. Just let me be. I'm trying to be better. It's a good thing. I'm not anorexic. I don't hate myself. I just don't see anything wrong in losing the extra fifteen pounds if it helps me feel better. I know you're worried, but don't be. I can take care of myself.
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