Ugh I'm prohibited from going on KP at home now.
It's affecting my sleep and homework.
Man.
Ugh.
Well. Bye.
I'll be on from time to time, though.

i spent a year liking you on/off. you were my second girl crush, but also the longest and it fucked me up so bad in the beginning. the first time i told my (now) best friend i flipped and then told her it was a lie until i finally came to terms with it.
you were my best friend for almost three years. that's the longest. we had fights but through it all, we were proud to call each other best friends.
remember when we used to braid each others hair and trade lip scrubs and we'd sit on each others laps and talk endlessly about nothing and everything? its so fucking surreal to think that you were once my best friend. like what the fuck. what the fuck. it's just hitting me now that we are going to high school together and we're going to see each other again. a year apart from seeing each other more than three times has made it easy for me to forget how close we used to be, that we used to be pretty much inseparable. holy shit. maybe dilan was right, maybe it is easier to say i'm over you when i don't have to see you on a daily basis.

Aww darling I know exactly how you feel. *huggles* I'm the exact same way-- extremely shy, I don't know what to say in conversation, and I suck at making friends. Several of my friends have left me as well. I hope everything works out for you next year.

Here's a little piece of advice/something that I've noticed for you: you can be the shyest person in the world. But at least one person will be outgoing and talk to you. And then you just have to gradually talk to the other person until you become friends.

I know it sucks and I know the last thing you want to hear is some cliché "things will get better phrase," but honestly they do. In 7th grade I lost my best friend who I shared almost every class with...she was more like a sister actually. I cried about it a lot. I almost switched schools because of it. It was really hard, because we were so much alike. It took a while to completely get over it. But a year later and I have a great group of friends. Unfortunately, my best friend from 7th grade and I are no longer friends. It's hard, but I realized something from losing her. See, when you have a best friend, sometimes you become extremely dependent on them to do all of the social interactions if you're shy, or maybe your best friend and you just seem to seamlessly blend into one person and you're always with them. Which is fine, but after I lost her I realized how much more independent it made me. I became more independent and I branched out. I started talking to amazing people who I never would've been friends with if I were still friends with my sister from 7th grade. You may think that you're losing yourself and sinking into a kind of blackness when you lose a group of friends. But honestly, after you emerge from the fog, you find yourself in a new way, you create a beautiful new you.

(yeah that was a bit cliché, especially the end. xD But it's true xD)

how do you even start a conversation like shiiiiiititttttttt

BEAR bABRBA BAARBEAr How ARE YOu 1!

Fuck, I can't sleep.
So, I'll just rant.

I'm brilliant.
And arrogant, but that isn't the point.
I have a ton of great writing ideas
And other things.
That's great and all, but I can't do anything.
You know why? Because I lack some of the most important things.
Motivation.
Dedication.
Confidence beyond empty arrogance.
Skills that I can hone.
I have raw talent, but I can't tame it.
So, I'm useless.


I can't fucking write anything decent beyond maybe some poetry anymore.

*tackle hugs you* i'm always here for you ok
heyyy you wanna maybe start texting? c: (if you don't that's totes fine, i understand haha)

Thanks so much :o wow i'm sorry you had to go through that :C That sounds really tough, and i don't mind it being cliche X3 it actually gave me some hope for the future. It's just really hard to move on. When I get connected to someone I really get conncected v.v like....really X3 especially my friend who I really don't want to lose because she needs someone because she's been unstable lately and we've been friends for about 13 years and *sigh* but thank you so much!!! c: i have hope.

Right?!? What are you supposed to talk about e.o especially with strangers. "So....how's the weather?" no. It doesnmt worj *sigh*
Thank you so much v.v *hugs* you as well!
Sure!

I don't know what to write
i don't know what gender i am
i don't know what my sexuality is
i'm worried that i'm weird because i don't have a crush right now
i'm mad because "cisgender" does not deserve to be in the LGBT acronym
i think no one likes me
i just learned that everyone thinks i'm a bitch
i learned that everyone thinks i'm ugly
i haven't gotten to put up my babysitting business flyers yet
i want to earn money to buy a crapload of manic panic stuff
i can't earn money until i start my business
i started a lemonade stand today and it failed
i'm hungry
i miss my friends
i miss my KP friends
i miss my KP friends that i never had
i miss begging for people to talk to
i miss writing

ok that's all for tonight bai

cisgender isn't in the lgbt acronym?? o:

idk i got a rly bad grade (c+) today in science i'm not telling my parents i just wanna die??? like right now please?? like. dead
idk i should go back to the school counsellor but she was a little useless