Honey, that relationship is toxic. You need to get out of it. All she will ever do is tear you down. You deserve so much more than that. End it. It'll be hard, but honestly, you just need to get out of that situation. ASAP.

i'm so so done right now i'm just so fucking done i've had my deepest thoughts and musings laughed at today and idk whats even going on with my friends and family and someone i love kept laughing at me and making me feel bad about myself even if he didn't mean to and just i can't do it right now

Aww, Lena.
I have something for you to do right now.
Go to the Quiet Place Project website right now and do the Comfort Spot. Now.
I hope you feel more confident and better, even if you don't do the CS.
I'll never laugh at you.

I'm trying my best to ignore her Instagram messages and texts.
She's a good friend, but only for a second. Then she disappears.

Even better, Lena, the thoughts room.

I'm sure you could. :P

204 pages in.

It had obviously been way too long since I last cried anyway.

same. finally cried last night...and the night before..and probably tonight...just so long as nobody hears/sees me, it's okay...

You should straight up tell her your feelings. Tell her you're sick of her bs, you need a friend who respects you, not someone who tears you down.

I mean I guess I'm not in your situation but my opinion from what I've heard is that she's a brat and you need to get out of that relationship. It obviously is hurting you, and I've learned that a relationship like that isn't helping anyone. Talk to her. You don't have to be like, "I hate you we aren't friends anymore," but just tell her how you feel. If she gives you any bs just tell her it's over. Maybe the relationship can be repaired but from what you've said it should have ended a long time ago. You don't have to be mean about it, just explain how her comments make you feel. And if she says anything other than, "I'm sorry" drop her.

Just my opinion maybe I'm not good with advice but remember that you deserve better company than her. Friends are supposed to make you laugh and make you feel good about yourself. They should never bring you down.

Hopefully it works out. Don't let her comments get to you.