The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMoonWakedWolf (Post 556681)

either i eat a little bit , completely purge, or i dont eat at all and honestly i cant for the life of me find a good medium. i want to be healthy but like i dont deserve it ? its completely pathetic i know but like i just. i really shouldnt be taking up this much space and attention and i just want to curl up and not eat ever. i know i need to but i fuck it up every. damn. time. i fuckin tr y.

sort of tall but still?? i t just doesnt seem to matter? i just. i really dont feel deserving of food or lots of weight. like, not that being fat is a good thing, but its too much occupied space and effort on other people's parts. plus i dont feel like anyone will love me until im skinny. im sorry but seriously that is my fuckin skewed perception of it

we dont have any in the area, as good of an idea as that is. i try to run by myself on a treadmill at home but i just feel better with my dad going out to the track in the early morning. i cant go myself there bc 1) i would never be able to get myself up at that time, 2) i would get too spooked by the dark and creepy shit outside to be alone, and 3) im a teenage girl going out alone in the dark so that wouldnt really work

but yea no im just really really sorry i was just really happy a week ago losing weight but then my parents found out and i havent lost any more weight bc theyre ENCOURAGING me to eat now and i really dont want to and god now im crying im sorry im done

Heeeey, man, come on. D: (*hugs again*) You DO deserve to eat and take up however much space you need to. That's the depression talking. Don't give in to that feeling, okay?

I'm really really really sorry you feel so terrible about all this!! x__x I really wish I could help you, somehow. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, I think you're super cool and funny and smart, and you deserve only good things in life. (*aggressively gives you comfy things like beanbag chairs and blankets and tons of delicious food*)

I TOTALLY know how you feel about walks in the dark, though. O___O I'm super paranoid about that sort of thing. I love riding my bike, and it helps with my depression a lot, but...I live in a super hot area where going outside without dying of heatstroke is basically only possible during half the year, or during the night. Which is why I'm the most depressed in summer and spring, basically. I can't go anywhere or do anything. And when I'm outside at night, I feel like a scared rabbit. -_- Would it be possible for your dad to come with you on runs/bike rides at night? Or at least could you go with someone else, maybe?

tfw no gf

but really. my friends dont care about me and neither does anyone Why Am I Still Here

Don't Give Me The :P Face When I'm Hinting For Attention And Being Suicidal Thanks Friend

how would i go about emailing the school counsellor 4 an appt

idk what my emotions are doing right now

you know there is great joy in just yelling "ROAR SCREW IT" and eating pasta

it really helps to de-stress things

sometimes i don't feel like being alive
it's not even suicidal im not suicidal
i just
dont want to be here
and it fucking sucks

I wrote 3 suicide notes in english today, cried while writing them, then left the room for a bit.

(i've written over 10 in total this week during school. i can't seem to get it right)

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 557051)

I wrote 3 suicide notes in english today, cried while writing them, then left the room for a bit.

(i've written over 10 in total this week during school. i can't seem to get it right)

My friend, please don't do it.
Please.
Get help, sort things out, whatever works for you. If you want to email me, I'm here.
You can do this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 557051)

I wrote 3 suicide notes in english today, cried while writing them, then left the room for a bit.

(i've written over 10 in total this week during school. i can't seem to get it right)

clay please don't you've made it this far and i know you can hold out longer
things will get better just focus on the little things and take each day one day at a time
please call a hotline or a chat or a counselor, anything. i would be devastated if you killed yourself and so many others would to. please hold on. <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieMay (Post 557039)

sometimes i don't feel like being alive
it's not even suicidal im not suicidal
i just
dont want to be here
and it fucking sucks

*hugs* i know how that feels. read a book, write a poem, go for a walk outside, anything to distract you from life. i know you've heard this a lot, but it does get better. <3