| CosmoCat |
11-20-2014 11:47 PM |
so i may or may not have depression, ocd, and dermatillomania. but i'm really freaked out by this because i keep all of my health problems to myself. and most of my emotional problems. but recently finding out that i may fit the description of someone who has constant anxiety? realizing that my "bad habit" can be an actual disorder? learning that i find one attempt at suicide strange because i've had causal suicidal thoughts so many times in the past? this is hurting me and there's no quick fix to it. I wish i could just "get help" or "go to therapy" but it's not that easy, and even I don't take myself seriously until I look into these things a bit more than usual. anyways, i'm really worried about my mental health because one minute i'm actually okay/completely content with life and the next i'm praying that i'll get hit by a car on the way to school because i'm sure the teachers wouldn't give me that much homework if i was in the hospital for a week. I just don't know what to do anymore, but one thing is for sure. i don't want to tell my family. i know my sis gets on here sometimes, but i don't want her to do anything about me. these are my problems and i need to solve them, but a lot is getting in the way (mostly my age again, dammit) and i'm just kinda. yeah. so that's my situation and why i'm scared of living. so, yes, any resources that will help me with my mental health and/or a hotline where they just let you talk about your problems (because mine aren't all related to suicide. i don't want to bother the people at the suicide hotlines especially so late at night) but, yes, i need help and, no, i'm not getting help as of now. which is bad, i know.
did i mention how much my hatred of humankind has grown? i'm becoming more antisocial every minute. i mean, i love humans and i think they should enjoy they're lives, but i'm not so sure how much i'm enjoying mine right now. just...people. ugh.
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