*thumps on table* Yes. Yes, that's it. But who's who? I think I'm Legolas- 1. sighs over elf problems a whole lot but 2. other than that cannot be serious 3. once left to find the sun

and Gimli
1. gets really passionate "KHAZAD AI MENU" 2. was incredibly sweet to Galadriel and you are really good at being sweet to people when you want to 3. loves shiny things in general!

ome yeah i'm gimli c'x and you kind of look like an elf more than i do?

dude you're awesome
that's just how siblings are. they're stupid.

it just stings more than a little when somebody in my own flippin family cares so little about this once in a lifetime thing :/ but idk. At least everyone else cares about it. My immediate family is going to two awards ceremonies so that I can get a sixth ticket for my grandfather. /making an attempt to not be entirely pessimistic/
also thank you. I'm glad you think that.

this girl has a very popular second instagram account
she is friends with my friends so i guess we're "friends"
yesterday, on the story of this account, she said that she hated all of her school friends
guess who got pissed?
said friends. who know about her account.
i snapchatted her about it. i know about it because it randomly popped up in my recommended section on instagram and she asks questions for each one and answers them and it was so obviously HER
now she thinks my other friend told her about the secret account. and SHE'S pissed.

ughh it's stupid drama

im serious. and idk maybe your sibling is a bit jealous bc you're so good??

idk he's ten so it's hard to tell but he just seems so self-centered sometimes I don't understand entirely where it came from. Although talia is similarly self centered to an extent, but not as much.
i'm not that good though. Talia has done a helluva lot more academically and extrcurricularly

to all the people that dont really want to live/are in their bedroom a lot/ dont go outside much, would just like to mention that in my experience trying to continue life as much as normal is helpful. this is more dissociation advice really but what's been going better for me in the last few months is my sadness and quietness and what really helped lessening them was exercise (dont laugh) and trying to engage as much as possible.
@jesse, i know you probably know this but isolating yourself and staying in your room most of the time is not a good habit. maybe you could try going on walks once or a few times a week? just to get you into engaging and it will actually make you feel a little better. jumping straight into exercise is difficult and i get the whole 'wow this is fucking effort my body cant cope' thing but ive gone from being a bedroom hermit (although i do go to public school which is helpful) to actually using a cross trainer weekly. started with walks, then swimming, and built it up.
@especially stormy/meera? (i know you didnt want help/sympathy/etc. so ignore if you dont want it) & madie if it's useful, my best advice for suicidal thoughts/self harm is honestly acceptance and in a sense distraction. back in the day i used to draw on my thighs and it was a nice alternative. of course avoid open wounds if you have any. again, walks are pretty nice and not too exhausting. try naming things you see when you go and you'll kind of start noticing pretty things in your environment. i dont want to sound like i am saying this is what you do and invalidate your pain because i have no doubt in the fact that you try very hard and have a difficult life but it is easy to slip into a sense of giving up and focusing on how awful stuff is. i too have gone through loss and mental health shit and just all around misery but the naming things around you for example is a good way to step down to a very basic sense of your existence. you may not be able to feel not shitty and distract yourself straight away but just try to really appreciate things you have and are surrounded by. i may come across as bullshitty and annoying but it was a process for me to be able to find a neutral place so yanno

i love you. i really do. that helps. distraction is my method of coping. it's so weird, because all it takes is a little time on yt watching my favorite band members or youtubers, and i feel infinitely better. i did try drawing on my thighs and snapping a hairtie around my wrist until the whole thing was red and kind of swollen? i haven't self-harmed since...september? the past few times it's been related to my dad being an asshole, so i think i just need to distance myself from the things he's said about the people i love. anyway, thank you, bby.

also i've been meaning to tell you i still picture you as dan howell. sorry. i can't stop it.