Stress is a matter of mentality. And I know I'm not the the greatest friend, I know you're probably really fucking tired of my seemingly perpetually upbeat personality, but frankly, I don't give a fuck. You can do it, most things that are impossible are really possible, you just have to turn them inside out, backwards and upside-down a few times before you get it. I know you (you don't know me at all, you're thinking, go away Sophie) enough to say that you will win this battle of- of- stuff. And you know me well enough to know that when you need help, if ever, I will be ready to bend over backwards for you.

Word of the day is inadequate.

you aren't, you're awesome and nice and cool and funny. You're a brilliant artist, a great writer, and a fab singer. you are fabulous in general. *hugs*

Thanks. :3
I think I needed that. That and a very long shower. And listening to the vocal track of Thnks Fr Th Mmrs over and over again.

Same.
Tenchar.

You will are in no way, shape or form inadequate in any sense of the word. You are a beautiful, talented, lovable and spectacularly individual with everything that makes you be you. Don't think for a minute that you're not enough, and that you're inadequate, because I don't want you to lie to yourself. Look at your novel. Nobody who's inadequate could have done that, could they?
You are fantastically fabulous, nice, amazing, and bursting with energy, so don't let the energy be negative. Get out there.
Love you guys.

I could do that...once. I seemed to have some writer's block, and now I've got a C in PE, general reading, math, all of which I'm supposed to be good at, all because of my lack of punctuality in handing in homework. My piano skills seemed to have dissipated as well.
But thanks. /hugs.

Sad/Weird/GAAAH FEELS. -_-
 

So this random Chinese relative came over today and it turns out that he wrote a historical fiction book. (We're in China for vacation, by the way...) And so like after five minutes of talking to him, my mom is so absolutely excited about his book and has somehow decided to co-write a history book with him or something.

Well mom.

Thank you.

How many chapters of your own daughter's book have you read, huh? One? Maybe two? And when have you asked her about it or discussed characters or plots or ANYTHING???? Nope. In fact, there's only been a couple times you've even mentioned it, including:

1. When are you going to publish that thing?
2. Oh, you finished it? Go publish it and put it on college applications.
3. Stop writing and go play piano.
4. "No one cares about your writing."

"No one cares about your writing."

No. One. Cares. About. Your. Writing

WHAT THE HEBLAGHWEPROISDFJ?

....
....

What kind of person would crush someone else's dream like that?

And dad? UGH. -_- You're as bad as she is, if not worse. Remember when I passed the 50,000 word mark in November? I told you because I thought that you would be proud or happy or something. Guess I expected too much.

"Why do you write so much? I think it's a distraction from your jazz."

That's all you ever care about, right? Jazz this, jazz that... JAZZ FREAKING EVERYTHING. Isn't that why we're going to New Orleans this summer? I could be spending that time practicing for All-State (which, by the way, could possibly get me into an Ivy League school) but noooo we have to go to New Orleans and drive all the way to Michigan.

And I told you today that I finished it. You didn't act happy or anything. Just, "Is it good?" IS IT GOOD? WELL, I DON'T KNOW AND YOU WOULDN'T EITHER SINCE YOU'VE NEVER READ IT WHAT THE HECK DUDE.

Why can't either of you just accept who I am?

Accept the fact that I've found something that I love and enjoy and want to spend the rest of my life doing? Something creative and fun and enjoyable for me. And you know what? Maybe I won't become a world-famous surgeon and make millions of dollars. But I'll be doing something I love.

Why can't you two embrace that? Embrace me? It's a part of me that you're never going to get rid of. So deal with it.

Maybe start with reading my book. Talking with me. Something.

I don't know...

SO MANY FEELS...

HELP.
ME.
PLEASE.

O_O

If your skills do dissipate, it's because of stress. People, or even you could be putting tons of stress onto yourself. Take a step back, and look at what's happening.

What's exactly happening? Your parents are paying so much attention to how they think you should be that nobody sees who you are and what you want to be? How can I help? *huggles*

no, actually, stress is not a matter of mentality for someone like me who's inherited my father's and my mother's anxiety issues and has panic attacks and starts crying no matter WHAT mentality i'm in to begin with (and you can bet, with what my depression and all, that that mentality is perpetually shitty). i've tried, you know. i've taken deep breaths and done that muscle relaxation thing, and you've still seen me cry at school. which i do more than you'd expect, considering a great majority of it is done silently and into the corner of my sleeve, and my excuse is that i'm tired. which i am. i'm tired of all this shit in my life and burdening people and not being able to make new friends even when i know i have a similar interest to someone else. i've been wanting to die for about a week now. it's really not pleasant, but at least i'm getting what i deserve.