Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 428508)

I am annoying, I can just tell by the way Litzy looks at me and the way she speaks to me and everyone else thinks I'm annoying too, I can't blame them. I'm not smart in science or math at all or French and I struggle in English class to write a freaking paragraph. I even struggle to write something original thats not related to school. It's my fault when my friendships never turn out right. It's not their fault they have to be near someone who just drags them down. They never knew they'd have to put up with a clingy, suicidal pessimist. I don't know how you guys can think I'm amazing or awesome because if you knew me in real life, I'd probably be the last person you'd want to be around.

Originally Posted by TheMoonWakedWolf (Post 428505)

Is it weird that while "normal" people might fantasize about things that make them happy, I fantasize about me getting hurt—about hurting myself? About everything that'd ever scarred me as a child, everything that gave me nightmares and made me cry to myself just thinking about it happening to someone else?
Is it normal that I think about that every day, and that it's what makes me happy?
I just...
Does anyone else do this?
Is this why I feel odd?

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 428546)

I don't think you're annoying.
"…not smart in science or math at all or French". You mean, you're not doing well in those courses. Not the subject. You could be the smartest person in the world and still even fail school because you're too depressed to manage the work.
It's not all your fault if friendships work out. And that's not how friendships work—you don't just drag them down, if that's what you think you're doing, you help pull each other up.
We think it because it's true. And nooooooo, you wouldn't even be close.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 428569)

I'm not smart at it or anything really. I can't remember anything I learned in science and I just plain suck at math. I hate being around here or on flockdraw or on Chatzy when people talk about their grades because I feel even worse about myself and it feels like I'm with my friends at school, and that's how bad it is. My grades suck and I hate it so so so so much but it feels like I can't do anything about it.
It's never been like that for me. I've always been the one who drags people down and I don't want friends anymore because of that.

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 428579)

I'm going to miss this place so much.

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 428629)

Why, what's happening?

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 428634)

I should have seen it coming. Every time I'm happy, it just ends. Damn.

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 428632)

I mean my school, not KP. Sorry, that was vague...I'm just going to high school next year, and only about six of my classmates are going to the same school.

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 428637)

everythingg
o_o

Like, every time that I am happy for a reasonable amount of time, it just ends and I go back into depressed mode. Woohoo.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 428508)

I am annoying, I can just tell by the way Litzy looks at me and the way she speaks to me and everyone else thinks I'm annoying too, I can't blame them. I'm not smart in science or math at all or French and I struggle in English class to write a freaking paragraph. I even struggle to write something original thats not related to school. It's my fault when my friendships never turn out right. It's not their fault they have to be near someone who just drags them down. They never knew they'd have to put up with a clingy, suicidal pessimist. I don't know how you guys can think I'm amazing or awesome because if you knew me in real life, I'd probably be the last person you'd want to be around.