There are two types of depression. Chronic and circumstantial. When a pet dies, you get depressed. When something really gets to you, you get depressed. When you lose your self-respect, you get depressed. That's all circumstantial. When your life is great but you still feel horrible, you are either (a) still recovering from the trauma of a previous experience that made you depressed *le what I'm going through now...I call it "aftershock"*, or (b) have a chemical or electrical imbalance in your brain thanks to a bad gene, which is often hereditary. There isn't anything you can do to cure that at the moment, but it's NOT YOUR FAULT, and it's not worth trying to pin blame on. <:^/ It can be dealt with, and you can still be happy. ^_^

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(I am serious. I just have no words. I am serious. I just have no words. I am serious. I just have no words. I am serious. I just have no words. I am serious. I just have no words. I am serious. I just have no words.)

It's Amazing - Aerosmith
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LKD-XQjEHs

Never before has this song spoken me THIS WELL, lyric for lyric.
o____o

...*small smile* <:^J

Your parents don't sound that kind, though, and neither do your friends do.
You're good enough.

Well um...
 

The last few posts made my problems look kind of insignificant...so I'll just go now....*backs away slowly*

CAN WE JUST STOP WITH THE 'my problems aren't big enough to be on here'

YOUR PROBLEMS MATTER
THIS IS THE EVT
IF YOU FEEL UPSET
HAPPY
JOYFUL
STRESSED
CONFUSED
JUST WANT TO VENT ANY EMOTION
GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE AND DO IT.
IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. HOW. BIG. YOUR. SITUATION. IS.

EVERYTHING MATTERS HERE.

Your situation can be as small as 'no mouse, must use laptop keypad' to 'suicide', okay? If you feel like venting, vent. This thread was created for a reason. This is the place to go if you need help or if you just need to let it out.

THANK YOU SO F*CKING MUCH.
(that wasn't sarcasm btw, i realize the caps make it seem that way but i actually really appreciate cuz i wasn't gonna post my vent till i saw it...)
i am lucky- true for me
my parents are kind- true for me
i have good friends- so f*cking true for me
adequate intelligence- true for me
and it's not enough for me.
but you want to know how i beat it the last time it got consistently, horrifyingly bad (over the summer, but it looks like it's getting that way again, so...)
i basically cried it out in the bathroom. i was so damn tired of everything and i couldn't stand being so sad and depressed and angry for another second
so i stood in front of my mirror and cried
and when i was done
i wiped away my tears
and i whispered to my reflection
"you are enough"
multiple times

problem is
now
i look in the mirror
and i see this stranger
who the f*ck is this crying little b*tch? so stupid and fat and pink-faced and snotty
i don't know her
and
i don't want to

because i didn't eat this morning.
and i self-harmed a lot last night.
on the upside, i wrote 'f*ck them' on my shoulder with red pen last night after harming
because i could
and i felt much better
and it's still there
i think it'll stay for awhile

And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. ~Stephen Chbosky

You see the reason I never respond to your posts is I have nothing to say. Seriously, sometimes I come on KidPub, and the only thing I do it go to your page, look at your recent posts, and read all of them. Yes, I'm a freaking stalker but I just want to make sure you're okay. And it's gotten to a point where you're not okay and I know you're not ok and it kills me inside but I'm just speechless. Because somehow, even when you're buried in self-hate and have dug yourself into a mile-deep pit of depression, every word you type sounds poetic and beautiful and it breaks my heart.
You scare me sometimes, Heather. You make me put down my iPod, wordlessly walk to to my room and sit on my bed, staring at the wall and letting tears run down my face silently. Only to later wipe them away, get dressed and go do some random shit with random people that will never mean anything to me that I'll just forget the next day and I remember how we still reference random things that have happened when we were together and if it wasn't with you I wouldn't have even remembered these things but the company makes all the difference.
I know I've been mean to you lately. I've changed, I am fully-aware. My mom actually, literally called me a "fashionista mall-rat bitch" on Saturday... no lie, those are her words. I was so mad at her at the time, but she's right. I've turned into your typical self-centered meal girl and I'm so so so so sorry. I don't know if I can even ever change, it's like this personality is the new me. It was just an act for a while but now it's like this IS me, I am this bitch permanently, this bitch right out of Mean Girls and I'm so sorry.
But I will still do everything in my power to keep you as well as possible. And I realize I'm way too late, I've ignored you too long and you're destroyed and I'm sorry for being horrible but I hope you'll find it somehwere in your heart to forgive and hopefully someday soon we can mend this broken friendship. </3

I love you so much.