BlueMi |
12-20-2012 04:15 PM |
People say I'm changing, but I'm not. I'm standing here silently, watching the world change around me. I'm watching the tree in my front yard slowly die, watching one of my best friends outgrow me, watching the boy I used to like turn into a little sh**, watching the boy I started to like a few weeks ago slip right through my fingers... I watch all this unblinkingly, without doing a thing to stop it. I'm just standing here, not growing up, not talking, just watching. Watching everyone grow up around me and choose their paths and still have no idea who I am. People say I'm changing and leaving them, but it's not true. I spend so much time—the seconds between everything else—utterly alone. I hate myself, but I can't make myself try. Every little playful insult hurts, even when it shouldn't. I'm trying to mask all this, but soon I'm gonna slip through the cracks altogether.
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