Originally Posted by Sandy
(Post 300025)
Seriously, A?
"You're a man."
SERIOUSLY?
Honestly, I've never hated anyone more than you, A.
You say that I'm the only one you DON'T hate.
I'm almost sure that that's the reason why you're the ONLY one I DO hate, the only one I've EVER hated.
God, sometimes you're so cool. Sometimes I love hanging out with you, I love your silliness, I love the way that you like me and I love how loud you laugh when no one's around to glare at us. But some days, I hate you so much, I just glare at you, wanting to fly over there and sock you right in the face, man; I can't even talk to you some days and I just wish you'd STOP TALKING for ONCE. You can talk for HOURS and NOT SAY ANYTHING.
I can't believe how I feel about you, I've never felt like this, I've never had a relationship so bipolar. Thank god I can control my temper like my dad and I've only told you to shut up once, with a joking smile and a laugh.
Good God, A, two nights ago I couldn't get to sleep because I could hear your voice in my room at two in the morning. Talking. Endlessly. Right into my head. I tossed and turned, squeezed my eyes shut but your endless, pointless chatter went on and on, replaying over and over in my brain like a broken record.
And what on EARTH gave you the idea that you have any right to judge people so harshly!? You are the LAST person to be judging people; LOOK AT YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TWO HUNDRED TIMES THE FLAWS THAT YOU'VE POINTED OUT IN OTHERS, IN THE PEOPLE IN OUR CLASS, IN ME!
Look me straight in the face, dead serious;
"You're just a bit chubby."
Like I said, LAST PERSON TO BE SAYING THIS. And to me? You do know that I work out every day for an hour at least while you (quite obviously) have never exercised a day in your life and all you eat is BAGELS!? When you run (or rather, gallop) in Phys Ed (for like, ten seconds) you look like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with your arms hugged into your body like a dinosaur. No wonder, you never exercise, you never do anything, all you eat is bagels and sit on your couch or chair or Imbecile Throne.
Straight up, without even smiling, you said to me;
"You're a man, Cassie."
No smile, no laugh. Just like that. It felt like a ball of acid erupted into my stomach, but could I do anything? Could I bring attention to your pug face, Pug McPuggers, and your puggy smile? Your hips? Your pterodactyl voice? Your chin? As much as I'd LOVE to, NO, because I'm not an IMBECILE LIKE YOU.
I'm a man?
Really, I'm a man?
For what, the fifteenth time in the past two months?
And I thought you were joking when you wanted me to wear a tuxedo to grad. Ha ha... then you go and gather a group of ten freaking retards to PAY ME to wear a tux? How high can you count to? Potato? Cabbage?
You think I don't have enough crap to worry about?
Do you want to know why I don't tell you anything personal? If you knew about ME, maybe you would SHUT UP.
But after all the books you waste your time with, you don't seem to be building your intelligence at all. All your stupid, pointless books, their endless drabble about "bad boy boyfriends" and "bad breakups." I want to burn them. I want to eat their ashes in front of you, all your precious books, and in forty eight hours they'll be a NICE FAT TURD.
You think I want to know about how "manly" my hands are? How "manly" my shoulders are? How "manly" my eyebrows are? You make me want to throw up, A. I'm going to be sick.
You do realize that after you called my hair greasy, I haven't shown up to school without my hair in a ponytail?
You are such a DRAIN.
You are that stupid voice, following me home, staying up with me at night, going on and on and on and on, like I'm crazy, like you're my ghost.
I can't think anymore. I can't list off the other things you do. Just know that this year, I haven't grown any closer to you than last year, when I didn't even know who you were. I can't wait to get away from you; I'm so glad I'm going to a different high school, A. You were the name on my lips the last time I... you just press me into a tight little box and you don't even know it. I wish I could write a letter to you, but you probably wouldn't learn anything from it with your low IQ. You laugh at 9/11. I can laugh at just about everything but are you honestly that immature? Oh wait, yeah you are.
I hope you enjoy your life.
Just kidding.
I hope you learn the things that nobody's taught you.
I want to teach you how your words feel. How you sap up my energy, how ruthlessly disgusting and inconsiderate you are; you are an empty soul, you are blank, you are purposeless and unnecessary. Someone needs to teach you not to judge, and I hope they school you nice and good.
/rant
|