The Writer's Block

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nngo 08-09-2012 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 328082)
-Vent begins-

I'm bored, behaving irrationally due to hormones and I want something to do that has worth, purpose and meaning.

-Vent ends-

Go to a monastery and and throw an ice cream party. Worth, purpose, and meaning.

rebecca 08-09-2012 01:04 PM

Genius, my friend, pure genius.

08-10-2012 07:20 PM

Ticked Off... >:(
 
I am so freakin' mad right now. Okay, so there wasn't going to be a JV soccer team this year because we didn't have enough people, and 7th and 8th graders aren't allowed to play on Varsity, so we weren't going to get to play. Well, we got enough people to have a team, but they SUCKKKKK. And we have a game on Monday. -.- So then our two coaches were working with the VARSITY team the whole freakin' practice, even though they all know what to freakin' do!!! I've been on the same team as them for two years, and now all of a sudden I have to teach a bunch of younger kids how to play? We're going to freakin' embarass ourselves. There's only a handful of ACTUALLY good players, and the others don't even know how to stop the soccer ball. They don't know how to do a corner kick. They don't know how to stop the ball, or kick with the inside of their foot. I don't intend to offend anyone, but they're all fat and lazy. We were supposed to be watching the Varsity players to "learn" what we were supposed to be freakin' doing, and they were sitting around FREAKIN' TALKING! *headdesk* And then they were like, "I don't know what to do, ohmigosh!" They don't even know any of the flippin' positions. -__________-

I'm just go frustrated, because not to sound selfish or self-centered, but I'm one of the best, if not the best, person on the JV team. I need to know I can COUNT on my teammates to help me out, since I can't do it myself, but they're all scared of the freakin' ball. *shakes head slowly* I know, I know, this is a first world problem, isn't it? Well, SORRY, but you're gonna have to SUCK IT UP. This is an emotional venting thread, and I am EXTREMELY emotional right now. And it doesn't help people are going to be VIDEOTAPING our epic fail. D::: I'm just so ticked, because WE needed more practice than the flippin' Varsity team, and the coaches totally blew us off. And today was the last practice before our game.

I came home and I wasn't even sweating. Yeah, I wonder how many calories I burned today: 0. We didn't stretch, we didn't practice, we didn't scrimmage. We sat on our lazy butts and watched the Varsity practice. :mad:

I'M SO FREAKING MAD!!!!

Sandy 08-10-2012 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 327716)
(the second part isn't meant to cause offence to anyone. It's just… gah.)

I can't hold onto me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
~ Lithium by Evanescence
^ Basically that.
When I'm around other people… I don't feel depressed. I don't really feel anything. Just spazzy, usually. Sometimes a bit nervous/anxious. But thoughts… hardly flow through my head. Few emotions. It's absent. Like… my personality, my self, just ups and leaves. Leaving me just an empty shell. I'm not depressed, usually not self-hating… but it just doesn't effing matter, because I'm hardly there. There's no deepness to me. I'm kind of… flat. Just a spazzy facade. Any teasing, insults? Most of the time they don't matter to me. I don't feel anything toward them.
I've wondered if maybe it's just loneliness causing the depression and stuff, since the empty-spazziness usually only happens when I'm not at home, but… I don't think it is. I feel… empty, around others. It's not a screaming feeling, but if you stop and think… you realise something's wrong. It has to be.
I mean… I can blurt out random things from the deepish part of me, but there's not much feeling behind them. It's not really from the me that speaks the words.
It drives me mad.

I'm sick of living in the middle of Bumblefug*, Nowhere. For nearly the past decade, I've lived in the middle of nowhere, places with few things noteworthy. In a forest, near gravel roads, in an incredibly rural place in Oklahoma. Miles from the nearest town. In uber redneck land. And the other place? Seven miles from the nearest town in pretty rural Missouri, with neighbours I've talked to maybe twice this year.
The local public school, I've heard, really effing sucks and I think I agree: earlier today, I took an achievement test there. It was supposed to to test for all of high school and have questions I wouldn't know the answers to, my mom said.
The toughest/most complicated mathematical problem was y [divided by] 10 = -5
The person giving the test said I was good at math. While I was doing pretty simple addition.
-________________-

There's the fml/f-every-place-I've-lived-in-memory part. The relieved part is because my mom said they were considering putting me in ninth grade, when I should be in tenth. Which would have been very effing bad.


* I BLAME JOHN GREEN. It sounds better than the version ending with a four-letter word, to me. :p


La dee da… Another novel from LST! *Skips away* >_>
*Isn't angsty at the moment* *Instead… apatheticish*

Dang, LST, to be completely honest... if I lived where you do, I would have gone insane LONNNG ago. o_o I'm going insane HERE, and this is a hickish Canadian city with drunks and druggies crawling all over the road, and is a wannabe Toronto.
Maybe what you're feeling around people is normal... I don't know this for sure but perhaps you don't spend an awful lot of time around a lot of different people? <:^/ I mean, with where you live and stuff... (*shrugs*) I hope that didn't offend you... >_< (*headdesks*) I just remember the same exact thing running through my head whenever I looked around at my friends, I would just feel cold and empty. I realize this now but I was purposely cutting myself off from them because deep down I didn't want to relate to them (when I was really depressed). Maybe you're doing this as well?
... That school sounds more depressing than my middle school. e_e I'm going into grade nine in a program that is accelerated, I can't imagine what it would be like to be there. =_= I'm sorry that things are going down bad paths for you right now... at least your apathy will allow you to feel less bad about it? <:^D (*...bad attempt at optimism*)

Rockshadow 08-10-2012 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 328597)
I am so freakin' mad right now. Okay, so there wasn't going to be a JV soccer team this year because we didn't have enough people, and 7th and 8th graders aren't allowed to play on Varsity, so we weren't going to get to play. Well, we got enough people to have a team, but they SUCKKKKK. And we have a game on Monday. -.- So then our two coaches were working with the VARSITY team the whole freakin' practice, even though they all know what to freakin' do!!! I've been on the same team as them for two years, and now all of a sudden I have to teach a bunch of younger kids how to play? We're going to freakin' embarass ourselves. There's only a handful of ACTUALLY good players, and the others don't even know how to stop the soccer ball. They don't know how to do a corner kick. They don't know how to stop the ball, or kick with the inside of their foot. I don't intend to offend anyone, but they're all fat and lazy. We were supposed to be watching the Varsity players to "learn" what we were supposed to be freakin' doing, and they were sitting around FREAKIN' TALKING! *headdesk* And then they were like, "I don't know what to do, ohmigosh!" They don't even know any of the flippin' positions. -__________-

I'm just go frustrated, because not to sound selfish or self-centered, but I'm one of the best, if not the best, person on the JV team. I need to know I can COUNT on my teammates to help me out, since I can't do it myself, but they're all scared of the freakin' ball. *shakes head slowly* I know, I know, this is a first world problem, isn't it? Well, SORRY, but you're gonna have to SUCK IT UP. This is an emotional venting thread, and I am EXTREMELY emotional right now. And it doesn't help people are going to be VIDEOTAPING our epic fail. D::: I'm just so ticked, because WE needed more practice than the flippin' Varsity team, and the coaches totally blew us off. And today was the last practice before our game.

I came home and I wasn't even sweating. Yeah, I wonder how many calories I burned today: 0. We didn't stretch, we didn't practice, we didn't scrimmage. We sat on our lazy butts and watched the Varsity practice. :mad:

I'M SO FREAKING MAD!!!!

:( im so sorry...just show them that you are better at soccer and when they complain that you kept the ball a lot, just say, "Well, sorry that I can't trust you enough not to kick yourself in the head, let alone kick the soccer ball.." XD lol jk. Just keep your head up and show them that you're better. :3

Sandy 08-10-2012 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 327780)
Sometimes… it doesn't really feel so much like emotionlessness as… *le metaphor* I'm standing in a room, with my emotions drifting around, and I feel whatever I focus on. But I'm staring into an empty corner and I can't look away; I only see glimpses of the emotions out of the corner of my eye. I know they're there, but I don't feel them. And sometimes I look an emotion—usually angst/depression—and then I can't look away, it fills my vision until my metaphorical eyes just drift back to staring at the corner.

O_O

... Words cannot explain...
I don't know... I don't see my emotions as anything near as freaking awesomely creative as that... usually they're too quick/powerful for me to bother creating a scene for them, although I've made attempts. I used to imagine this greenish glass coke bottle with a bunch of glowing blubs of gaseous matter in it and those were my bad feelings, and although I was perfectly conscious that it was going to bite me in the end, whenever I would get angry at myself (I was a really self loathing kid... o_o I was constantly drawing and naturally I despised every single thing I ever created, so... one thing led to another and I was constantly in a bitter rage with myself) or my mom I would imagine myself stuffing it into the bottle. It helped so much, but it made me sad too... because I know that it was better to release them, not trap them... -_-

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 327786)
I hate my mother. I hate my neck more, though.
Last year I kind of cricked my neck on a trip to Kenya and it had a detrimental effect since. When I played the ten-looped rollercoaster in Chimelong it huuuurt and I had to go to this Chinese place where people massage your neck so hard it hurts and stuffs. Earlier this year I had to go again, since I went on a similar ride in Hong Kong.

... YOUR TRAVELING LIFE...


O_O


Um, I'm really sorry to say this but if your mother is one of the people who makes those trips possible, I must say that your hatred of her is unjustified... as it is for most people, but...

Whoa... Hong Kong... O_O Wait, what country/continent do you live on?

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 328014)
I...can't...believe it.

I had just started downloading AVG AntiVirus. The installer thing said I could do "other things" while I wait for it to download. So I went off to MS Word to halfheartedly write while I wait:
"C'MON, WORK, COMPLICATED-COMPUTER-CODE-I DON'T-UNDERSTAND. THIS PERSON SAYS THIS WILL FIX YOUR PROBLEM."
Unfortunately, like MANY people out there (99% of the people out there with this problem, actually), none of the fixes worked.
By the time I gave up, it was already 10 minutes past my new sleep-time. And my brain is TOTALLY drained from the first couple days on 9th grade.
"BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRGGGG computer I'm so tired I GIVE UUUUUUUP!"
What I now what to do to my laptop, Hajima, for screwing up this for me FOR THE SECOND FLIPPING TIME in the past 3 months:

Um... although I may be the only one to say this, and I'm sorry if it's offensive but the quantities of GIFs you're using are really quite distracting... O_O XD
Oh, computers, you so inconvenient. On my dA journal a couple weeks ago I vented about this big mess I got into with iTunes... it wasn't fully downloading my songs/albums and they were all skipping horribly. Turns out, it happened to everyone who updated their iTunes/got the new update... all I had to do was redownload what I purchased, which was no problem, as long as iTunes didn't charge me AGAIN... (it did in a couple cases, which freaked me out... I had to check my mom's email every five minutes for the receipt so I could be the one to delete it AND YES IJUSTADMITTEDTOTHAT.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 328019)
Depression can be caused by chemical imbalances.

http://images.wikia.com/particracy/i...eObjection.gif


Sorry... X'D I couldn't resist...

(Oh lord... here comes a rant... it's probably been slapped onto this thread like five times already. -___- Sorry. Feel free to ignore. I'll make it small too... maybe then it will have less chances of offending people... (*is too Canadian for own good*)
Regretfully, I must make an objection... I'm a firm believer (and plus my momma raised me this way... TT_TT I'm sorry...) in coping with low-severity mental illness like depression without constantly pumping the powder from the boys in the lab through your liver and kidneys, and by using the chemical imbalance excuse, one begins to sound a lot like the smiling advertisements who stand before these white-coated boys. Not only are they a) horrible for your health, but they b) do more bad than good, which drug companies easily conceal, turning the flat-out suicide of volunteer human test subjects into "suicidal thoughts", utter rage into "irritability", so on, and in most cases do worse than placebos, but they also c) completely halt the natural stages of grief (if one is taking anti-depressants for something that will pass, like a death... meaning if you continue the antidepressants you may never move on and enjoy your life) and in the majority of cases, d) worsen the depression or make whoever's taking them feel "numb" or "hollow".
And I mean... the advertising campaign for anti-depressants... does it not seem a little bit wrong to anyone here? "Oh, honey, look at this commercial... say, can you pick me up some Prozac on your way to the store? This stuff looks good," could be said just as easily for prescription medication as easily as it could be said for Tide with bleach! The media is no place for a medication with such serious side effects as death!
And besides... how the freak can one possibly prove the existence of these "chemical imbalances"? Can you show me a picture of my serotonin imbalance please? Personally, it's going to take a lot more to convince me that imbalances have anything to do with depression just because "more people with "imbalances" seemed depressed to our "genius" shrinks than those who didn't!" Can I have a picture of anhedonia please? Or all the other crock that's being put in the DSMs? Oh, is this a picture of my imbalance? Nope, that's just an animation that we broadcast on cheesy commercials, brought to you by Chuck Testa.
Depression is not a thing that you can hold in your hands... so how can it be made better if you treat it by physically breaking into the brain's natural defenses against random foreign chemical alterations? God, the brain is just trying to do it's thing, leave the oversized pink walnut alone and stop drugging it up! If depression is felt on an emotional level, it should be treated with help that can be felt on that level instead! Get the person to a talk therapist; having someone actually listen can really help. And trust me, if you're an angsty teen who wants to set the world on fire, set YOURSELF on fire because you're so angry... perhaps a physical outlet would be worth considering? I used to be much, much worse than I ever was on here before I started being more active, and if I don't run, I fall right back into where I was before. Kids don't need drugs to stay happy.


(*sigh*) ... I'm sorry... it's just, there's so many misdiagnoses and so much corruption in that industry that it's hard to believe what's real anymore.



... Mind you, in the space between that paragraph and the one before it, my mom came in and yelled at my for ten whole minutes about how, after me being on the computer for forty five minutes, I was "no longer a part of the family" and was "holing myself up" and "secluding myself"...


What even...? This has gotta be the eleventh time she's given me that speech... and to make it even more confusing, she told me not to give out any personal information...!? Mom, I'm not seven, I know what I can and can't say! (*headdesk*) I'm pretty sure I've done a SOMEWHAT MEDIOCRE job as of yet, seeing as I haven't been brutally attacked or murdered by an internet stalker...

You know what, never mind, I take it all back. I need drugs to deal with these people. XD XD XD

L.S.Trendom 08-10-2012 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 328606)
Dang, LST, to be completely honest... if I lived where you do, I would have gone insane LONNNG ago. o_o I'm going insane HERE, and this is a hickish Canadian city with drunks and druggies crawling all over the road, and is a wannabe Toronto.
Maybe what you're feeling around people is normal... I don't know this for sure but perhaps you don't spend an awful lot of time around a lot of different people? <:^/ I mean, with where you live and stuff... (*shrugs*) I hope that didn't offend you... >_< (*headdesks*) I just remember the same exact thing running through my head whenever I looked around at my friends, I would just feel cold and empty. I realize this now but I was purposely cutting myself off from them because deep down I didn't want to relate to them (when I was really depressed). Maybe you're doing this as well?
... That school sounds more depressing than my middle school. e_e I'm going into grade nine in a program that is accelerated, I can't imagine what it would be like to be there. =_= I'm sorry that things are going down bad paths for you right now... at least your apathy will allow you to feel less bad about it? <:^D (*...bad attempt at optimism*)

I thank books and the internet for my sanity. :'D Haha, I consider where I live currently only hickish. :p
Normal, like, experienced by most people/teenagers? It doesn't seem like it, at least from how others act... Or, like, normal for my situation? Yeah, I don't. :/ *Wasn't offended* Though I'm not sure how that'd cause it… It doesn't feel like I'm purposely cutting myself off; it feels too… natural and automatic. And it doesn't make me less able to relate to them, I think.
Eh, on the bright side, I hopefully I won't really suck at the math there. :^/ Sort of… Sometimes the apathy extends to the angst. Half the time, though, no; most mentions of school tend to make me feel angsty and like a failure. >_>

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 328611)
O_O

... Words cannot explain...
I don't know... I don't see my emotions as anything near as freaking awesomely creative as that... usually they're too quick/powerful for me to bother creating a scene for them, although I've made attempts. I used to imagine this greenish glass coke bottle with a bunch of glowing blubs of gaseous matter in it and those were my bad feelings, and although I was perfectly conscious that it was going to bite me in the end, whenever I would get angry at myself (I was a really self loathing kid... o_o I was constantly drawing and naturally I despised every single thing I ever created, so... one thing led to another and I was constantly in a bitter rage with myself) or my mom I would imagine myself stuffing it into the bottle. It helped so much, but it made me sad too... because I know that it was better to release them, not trap them... -_-

(*is too Canadian for own good*)

... Mind you, in the space between that paragraph and the one before it, my mom came in and yelled at my for ten whole minutes about how, after me being on the computer for forty five minutes, I was "no longer a part of the family" and was "holing myself up" and "secluding myself"...


What even...? This has gotta be the eleventh time she's given me that speech... and to make it even more confusing, she told me not to give out any personal information...!? Mom, I'm not seven, I know what I can and can't say! (*headdesk*) I'm pretty sure I've done a SOMEWHAT MEDIOCRE job as of yet, seeing as I haven't been brutally attacked or murdered by an internet stalker...

You know what, never mind, I take it all back. I need drugs to deal with these people. XD XD XD

Haha, achievement two of angsty rants? 8'D (The first being using the word 'supercilious'. :p) I tend to use metaphors a lot, often spatially… *Gestures at Asphodel, Elysium, standing on a knife-edge above/between them, and a hundred other scenes that've gone through my mind* Most of the time, my moods last a few hours. And sometimes random scenes associated with a feeling just pop into my head. :P Usually not for… quicker/stronger emotions like anger, but more for loneliness-and-hope and stuff.
:/ I sort of do that too, sometimes. I don't picture bottling it up and it doesn't feel like I'm just bottling it up, but… I just sort of will it away and then I become apathetic again.

('Too Canadian'? Like… trying not to offend people and stuff? If so, I think I might be too Canadian for my own good, too. xD)
I haven't really researched psychiatrical medicine, but I see your point. Therapy seems like a much better idea to me than medicine.

O_o *Facepalm* xD

Moogle 08-10-2012 11:24 PM

My troubles are so insignificant and pointless and I know I shouldn't be crying over them when there are people out there that have to sleep on the streets, begging for money in hopes of one day having a life at least half as good as mine.
But I can't help it. They beat me and choke me and I can't do anything about it, and I hate being depressed for such silly reasons that my mind tries to morph to make rational reasons.
Blek. If only I were six again.

GabiDi 08-10-2012 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moogle (Post 328664)
My troubles are so insignificant and pointless and I know I shouldn't be crying over them when there are people out there that have to sleep on the streets, begging for money in hopes of one day having a life at least half as good as mine.
But I can't help it. They beat me and choke me and I can't do anything about it, and I hate being depressed for such silly reasons that my mind tries to morph to make rational reasons.
Blek. If only I were six again.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8gbaaDSKe1rtc9of.gif
I'm so sorry... look, the whole 'it can always be worse' never works because it doesn't make pain any less real, you know? Everyone feels pain. It's not... you can't compare it.
I'm sorry, Moogle. :/

AlgebraAddict 08-10-2012 11:30 PM

I'm going through the process of bursting into tears when I see things like brick walls or dying trees.


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