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It's like "I bought some bath salts and ate all my kids. They're always eating my food." o_O Sorry, that was probably offensive somehow... sorry... I'll escort myself out... Quote:
And everyone else seems to have gotten there before me: you are an exceptional debater. Your logic is effective, your points are clear and valid, and HECK OF COURSE YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH. I would have thought you were TOO smart. o_o Quote:
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(... o_o HOLY CRAP GOD I JUST REALIZED THIS ENTIRE THING IS DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO RAMMSTEIN'S "MUTTER" = "MOTHER"...) I am still not very familiar with JW beliefs... but if you believe that she is still with you in spirit... perhaps that can offer some relief from pain? |
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I know what it IS, technically speaking, but......what...I just...my brain....it just can't....why..... OTL I have no words. Thanks for trying, anyway. No...we believe that when you die...you die. o_o That's it. You don't feel anything, you don't think anything, you don't do anything. It's like you're asleep. Thus the term "fall asleep in death." My only solace is that one day, if I just work hard enough for it, and do what's right, I might just meet her in Paradise, when she comes back... ^_^ |
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I know the feeling. Mreh. |
I can't f*cking do it anymore.
I hate choir. I hate those stupid girls who chit chat and gossip and are the best of friends. I hate people who have no problems in their lives. I hate music that is all really depressing and good and then they start blurting out JESUS LOVES ME AND IT'S ALL OKAY or something like that. I hate my friends. My friends hate me. It's messed up. |
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I am so incredibly fucking happy.
It's amazing. Just yesterday I felt like a whiny bitch (well, I WAS a whiny bitch, but beside the point) and the entire week was perfect until I realized that I'd basically been as emotionally charged as a non-haywire robot the entire time. And then Friday, the sadness came back and overwhelmed me. But here I am. Happy. It's kind of weird to feel happy like this. I'm not really used to it. But I sure as hell am enjoying it while it lasts. :'D |
This cat is sitting on the fence between sanity and truth. He's not sitting like a cat, with its paws curled into its chest and its tail curled into his paws, he's sitting with one leg on each side of the fence, with his bleeding tail stump wriggling haphazardly because most of it got ripped to pieces by the thorns on the bush it had to jump on to get to the fence. It's not a comfortable position for a cat, but this cat doesn't care. Not because this cat wanted to get on the fence, but because this cat just doesn't feel anything. This cat is a zombie, living with no functioning brain, and this cat is just lumbering around trying to find one. But since he has no brain to think, he eats the brain he finds instead of screwing his head opening and popping it in. All the while, his bleeding tale is splashing the fence red like a garden hose left to its own devices. This cat watches everyone from his lonely post (but he doesn't know it's lonely, he's too brainless and stupid to know that) and sees people suffer and people laugh and people who suffer laugh and he doesn't know what to make of it. It's possible he can't make anything of it, and what he sees just flies out his other ear, but for Pete's sake, let's assume he can even though he can't. He sees people crying and screaming and kicking at the world on the grass beneath him on the dark side, their wrists sore and their parents angry, and he sees happy people. But the happy people are normal people, and he's not a normal person. And the thing is, he isn't even a person; he's a cat. He's sitting on the fence between sanity and the truth and he doesn't know what(how) to think. Because people are happy and people are sad - how happy is he, and how sad is he? How can he tell? He has a heart, but he doesn't feel anything. He wants to disappear, his lack of a brain is strained to ribbons and gore after centuries of frustrated thinking on his thinking post (he thinks he may be going insane.. but he doesn't think), he feels he can't cough up his carcass of a heart and it's making him choke, he knows there is no reason for him to feel him and every reason for him to be like the normal kids or the sad kids, but he does. And he does disappear in a sense, but it doesn't help him anything. Everyone can see him, flailing, stump spurting with color, but he doesn't see himself. He's Charlie Brown after Snoopy performed his phony magic tricks on him, and he needs to paint mud on him to be able to see himself temporarily. But then the mud dries and falls off and it's over and he's left even more invisible than before. And he doesn't know what to do he doesn't know what to do but just crawl further into the abysses of his throat and settle beside his nonfunctioning intestines and wait till his body drops dead on the fence and the centuries pass and the flesh rots off his bones and the meat rots away and the bones dissolve into cocaine and he's left alone in the apocalyptic setting of the fence, 1000 light years in the future. And he still doesn't know what to do, and he can't disappear anymore. He's just stuck and confused and brainless and tailless and stupid and his heart is still stuck in his throat and he keeps smiling, stop smiling, the story just got sad.
im so happy cuz today i found my friends in my head |
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