The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)

- Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)

- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 371046)

Congrats. Feeling happy is a vast achievement.

It is, especially when you've been either emotionless or depressed all week. ^_^ My circus always cheers me up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370704)

._. There goes four hours and one more marble of my sanity. I wonder how many I have left before I lose all of my marbles...

*Hands you some marbles*
You won't lose all of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370706)

In all honesty, Tredom, I'm totally emotionally drained right now. I can't muster up enough strength to even attempt to make any sort of brief facial expression.

And yet...

Reading what you said actually made me feel something. I can identify with you totally. I don't care about many things anymore, and that terrifies me. And yet, at the same time...I don't care that it terrifies me. There just isn't a way to put it into words. I, too, can be self-destructive, mainly in ways I'd rather not say on the Internet. But you know what, Tredom? Through it all, I still really really really care about you, and a bunch of other KPers, too. All of them are special to me, but you...you have to be one of the most special to me. I remember the day you joined. I remember our first conversation. I remember how you misspelled your username, (Trendom). I wish I could do more to help you. You don't know how much it hurts me to see that you're having problems just like me. And this probably won't mean anything to you since it looks like nothing but text on a screen. But I have to say this. You don't deserve any of those negative thoughts. And no matter what happens to you, or what changes, you're an awesome person, and we'll always be here for you. <:^J

And you're not an attention-junkie. XD (Trust me; I know what they look like, you ain't one of 'em. ._.)

Yeah… I think I know exactly what you mean, about being terrified about not caring but at the same time not caring. Like… somewhere deep inside you, you know you should be terrified but it's only just barely echoing up to where you can notice it.
Thanks… And it really doesn't mean a lot. :'3 The same to you… you're an amazing person and a great friend, even if I've never met you. And I'm sorry you have the same problems, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370710)

Right now, I just want to dig a hole and live in it for the rest of my life; totally isolating myself from any kind of human contact. ._. I know I'll feel different an hour from now, but that's just where I'm at this moment.

*is prepared to do best to drag you out of hole and feeling like that*
*can also pretty much relate*

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370711)

*shakes head sadly* It's not worth talking about. It would only scare and confuse you. I appreciate the offer, though... ;w; You're too kind.

Besides, I've been talking about it for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. x_x (Or, rather, I've been hearing about it for four hours straight. I didn't say much.)

*Breaks in* It might confuse me, but I don't think it would scare me…
If you ever need to talk to someone, you can email me, if you want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370722)

Scramble the letters in "Santa" and you get "Satan"...
8D

Haha… earlier today I was thinking about like a punk/emo/rockstar Santa, and I hadn't read your post yet… xD

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 370741)

Everyone. Here. Must. Really. Be. Annoyed. With. Me.... -_-

I'm not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 370733)

I'd make a HORRIBLE mother...o_e gosh, I don't even know what a mother is supposed to DO, let alone how to be good at it. I think I'm going to stick to raising puppies and birds and other animals and never ever have actual kids. XD

I don't think you would. Maybe things wouldn't work so good when you're depressed, but… other than that you seem like you'd be a pretty awesome parent. :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 371069)

*Hands you some marbles*
You won't lose all of them.

Yeah… I think I know exactly what you mean, about being terrified about not caring but at the same time not caring. Like… somewhere deep inside you, you know you should be terrified but it's only just barely echoing up to where you can notice it.
Thanks… And it really doesn't mean a lot. :'3 The same to you… you're an amazing person and a great friend, even if I've never met you. And I'm sorry you have the same problems, too.

*is prepared to do best to drag you out of hole and feeling like that*
*can also pretty much relate*

*Breaks in* It might confuse me, but I don't think it would scare me…
If you ever need to talk to someone, you can email me, if you want.

Haha… earlier today I was thinking about like a punk/emo/rockstar Santa, and I hadn't read your post yet… xD

I'm not.

I don't think you would. Maybe things wouldn't work so good when you're depressed, but… other than that you seem like you'd be a pretty awesome parent. :P

Some people are O_O

no dad i can make friends for myself and think for myself. yes, i am atheist. im not buddhist, and never will be. atheist, you got that? A-T-H-E-I-S-T. nope, no religion. and also, i don't need your fkking lies. two years ago you said, "we aren't going to force you to be friends with anybody." but that is a straight-up lie. First grade-fifth grade, you pestered me to talk to C and E. You bothered me saying "talk to them! be their friend! why don't you be their friend!" Sixth grade, T and me stopped being friends. You yelled at me and told me i should just be her friend and continue talking to her. And now, seventh grade, you're screaming at me and trying to make me be friends with CJ. Why can't you see I don't want to be friends with CJ? i'm not going to be friends with CJ. yeah, we used to be best friends, not anymore. Why do you lie and say you won't force me to be friends with anyone? To make yourself look better? to install false trust? give up, i see right past through it.
this is why i don't trust you at all. this is why i never tell you anything. i wonder how you'd react if i told you i like a girl. yes, my own gender. you say you support gays, then laugh and joke and make fun of gays. how can i trust you to tell you about her? how would i know that you wont ridicule me?

and i lie every single day, i say im happy but overall i'm not. i'm really only happy around her but other than that, i feel like shit and i rely on my music and you're threatening to take away my music because what? "they are loud and screaming and heavy and they are bad. i don't know what they are saying, but they are a bad influence!" these people that you call "bad" are the reason i'm still here. Sick Puppies, Three Days Grace, My Chemical Romance. I trust them more than I trust you. they are here to comfort me when nobody else is, and you're threatening to not let me listen to them? what, do you want me to relapse and start lying again about the cuts on my arms? because that is what will happen if you take away my music, i need them.

Okay, I know this sounds really childish and stupid and self-conscious and a lot of you are probably going to think "Jeez Stephanie, get over it! It doesn't even matter what you look like in high school!" but this is kind of important to me.

I just feel so... ugly.

I have acne, and even though I know it's not like terrible or anything, every time I talk to someone, I don't even want to look at them in the eye because I know that they're staring at me and judging me and I probably look really rude and stuff, but I'm NOT. This one time, my mom was talking to this girl and I said hi and went away because I was having a huge breakout and my mom was like "Stephanie, you seemed so cold" and I couldn't tell her the real reason.

I mean, I know I'm not ugly, I've had people tell me that I'm pretty before but... every time I just look in the mirror, it puts me down. it seems like all the girls at my school are more clear-faced, social, and better than me.

I'm part of a leadership program at my school...a secret leadership program. Our first mission was to make friends with the sixth graders at our school because they're new and don't really know what to do. About a month ago I met this sixth grader at quick recall practice named Luke, and how he's like my bestfriend. Actually, I treat him more like a little brother. I've always wanted a younger brother, and now it's like I have one. :) I am actually really happy. Today I went to his quick recall competition to work consessions and we hung out and him and all his friends said I was the Team Mom. XD So now he calls me Mom. Haha.

But yeah...today was a good day. :)

I'm sick of everyone lying to me. My parents, my friends, the people I thought I could trust, but really, all they do is use me. They don't even seem to realize I'm a person and that I actually have this thing called feelings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 371020)

I am so incredibly fucking happy.
It's amazing.
Just yesterday I felt like a whiny bitch (well, I WAS a whiny bitch, but beside the point) and the entire week was perfect until I realized that I'd basically been as emotionally charged as a non-haywire robot the entire time. And then Friday, the sadness came back and overwhelmed me.
But here I am.
Happy.
It's kind of weird to feel happy like this. I'm not really used to it.
But I sure as hell am enjoying it while it lasts. :'D

:'DD
i

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 371191)

:'DD
i

Pokey, do you mind if you look at the cover thread you made and do the last one, please?