O_O

(*bear hugs*) Maggiiiieeeee!!! <:^c I'm so, SO sorry that you're feeling so terrible. But, please, please remember that you're not as alone as you feel! There are TONS of people who love you--online AND in your everyday life!!!! Please don't think no one cares, because we DO care. I care. And I know you've probably heard this before, but, it's true: Things WILL get better! You won't feel this terrible forever. I know that sounds impossible, but, it's true. You're NOT alone, and you have other options than just giving up completely. <3 It's gonna be okay, I promise. <:^J

Hey, can you do me a favor? I wanna talk to you more, if you're comfortable with that. If not, that's fine, I understand. But, if you don't mind, please go to my contact tab on the mainsite and send me something. I'll respond with an email. I just....I care about you. I honestly do, Maggie. And it kills me to know you're feeling so bad....

i'm starting to creep myself out
like i start laughing insanely at intensely gory death/torture scenes in movies, i feel delighted at the sight of my own blood, i get jealous when others suffer, and i wake up liking my nightmares
someone please tell me what's wrong with me
i need to know

sravani, please don't be upset. this is just a phase and i'm sure you'll be fine. if you are really worried about this i suggest talking to a trusted adult or a school counsellor.

feeling jealous of other people when they suffer might mean you are masochistic but really sweetie i don't think you should be upset. this must be scary for you but we are all here supporting you and you are going to be just fine. feel free to email me if you keep feeling like this

as bridie said, this is probably just a phase. when i was a kid i was pretty afraid of blood and had a pretty low pain tolerance and now sometimes i like pain and i don't mind blood
just don't hurt yourself or anything because it's something you'll regret and ilysm okay <333 scars aren't worth the phases

Im lost and am in need of someone to help me home :(

I look around and see a world, falling apart. I look at me and see a useless child. I wish there was something i can do to help the world. But all I can do is hope :(

maybe I'm very lost and shit but at least I have my anime and manga and books and Microsoft word

but that doesn't make me any less lost.

i second this
so hard

I just don't know how to feel about my friends. On the one hand, they fight over who gets to sit next to me. But on the other, the other day was my birthday (I should mention that it's like a tradition at my school that you decorate your friend's locker on their birthday) and none of my friends decorated my locker but then proceeded to decorate my other friend's locker for her birthday 2 days later.
Idk it just kind of hurt my feelings.

dude that sucks a lot. it's a tradition to decorate lockers at my school too!! if it makes u feel any better my friends told me that they weren't doing mine because they're too lazy ):

feel better!

Aw sorry that happened. :(
Thanks though. :)

yeah if you could stop being an ass that'd be great because i actually really like you and am able to have fun with you if you don't ignore me all the time

There I go again, being a complete douchebag.

I hated the person I was before, but I hate who I am now even more.

I don't understand anything anymore. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I want to be. Sometimes I just want to dissolve away where I can't hurt anyone.

Why do I always have to screw things up?

are you okay??? like are you actually lost, or is it a metaphor?


Wow okay i have a toxic friend and it's not worth my time to be friends with them but im scared that she'll have a mental breakdown if we leave her, im honestly so scared that she'll do something silly.

im not scared for myself though tbh im past the point of caring and being terrified of what i can and probably will do to myself. im past the point of giving a shit about Anything™ and and and

i want to care about everything, i want to be a happy good person, i want to be able to prove a point about something that bothers me without breaking down, i want to do something with my life but i can't because im at the bottom of a deep deep well that's still getting lower.

i have never cared less about myself and it's not scary anymore. im numb to most and only those i really, really, really care about get my empathy

life's short so what's the point

but no actually life is the longest thing we'll ever experience tho \o/
i know it fucking sucks bc like you've only lived for so long and being this depressed makes it somehow feel sooo fucking long and yet too fucking short? and what do you do? you dont fucking know you're just sso fucking confused like what's supposed to happen??/
my suggestion: try to devote yourself to taking care of something besides you for a little bit. like, something youknow you can tolerate ( not your friend). im talking about a pet here, mainly. do you have a pet? a dog or a kitty cat or something? bc something that actually really helps me out is making sure my puppy and kitty are happy and healthy. taking a long time to prepare their meals, brushing them, washing them, playing with them, making sure they have a nice place to sleep. its very therapeutic. if you dont have a pet, maybe get one? like seriously, it is such a huge difference i cant even say. like, even a turtle or a frog or a fish help. it gets you back into the routine of caring about something and taking care of something when you feel rly empty.

MMmmm i have a kitty cat and he is asleep on me back right now *O*

mm,,, that poem u posted.. i feel it bro. u feel better too bro. stay cool... B)

thank u !!

guess who got 6 hours of totally unnecessary sleep last night because she couldn't stop crying after being triggered by a picture of a fluffing mutant turtle. i will be genuinely surprised if anyone ever likes me in any way. hey, at least THE FLUFFING MUTANT TURTLE IS VAGUELY UNDERSTOOD AND APPRECIATED. and that's what really matters. anyways, i'm gonna go lie down in a cornfield and never get up, so i'll check back with you guys after school and such (GOSH I HOPE I CAN NAP ON THE COUCH AGAIN)

yaya! take good care of your kitty cat whenever u r feeling sad and trust me u will feel as cutie patootie as ur kitty cat afterwards vuv

thanks man, keep it rad B))
ugh man, i know that feel. like no one will ever like you. it sucks dong. but hey guess what! you are just a teenager!!! it feels like forever but someday you will find the person/people you want to be with for the rest of your life !! be it a husband or wife or partner or best friend, whatever your preference, you will most definitely find someone who will love you just the way you are if you let them! you have SO much time to grow! don't give up on yourself now! that's like looking at a little sproutling flower plant that's only budded one leaf and saying "they'll never have a beautiful blossom" bc THAT FLOWER WILL HAVE THE MOST GODDAMN GORGEOUS BLOSSOM YOU'VE EVER SEEN HELL YEAH

my suggestion: if you're unhappy with yourself, just try to improve yourself! think long and hard about who you are as a person, and then think long and hard about who you want to be, and THEN think long and hard about how you can become the person you want to!! set small goals for yourself to reach your main ultimate goal! realize that it will take time, but that's ok, because a flower doesn't blossom in one day babe ! give yourself the days to grow!! if you just keep your chin up and keep on working and hoping, you'll get there!~

I'm so stressed out right now. I kind of wanna scream into a pillow or cry to death or beat someone senseless. Any would work.

why won't they talk to me anymore seriously what did i do wrong

fluffin' mad
 

mad a hell because i got braces. THE BEAUTIFUL BRACES THAT I NEVER WANTED AND WAS TOLD I WOULDN'T NEED. so, yay for fluffing genetics, puberty, and lack-of-understanding-among-everyone-you-can-remotely-talk to. did i mention i've been too busy to do anything anymore? yay for poor time management NO MATTER HOW HARD I FLUFFING TRY

Whoops here we go with these ridiculous highs and lows again
At least my kitty cat loves me

i wish i had a kitty cat

i don't know what i'm feeling
i think my iTunes on shuffle is deciding my mood

is it normal to be so nervous about going for coffee with two friends??? is it??? cause im sick to me stomach mayb it's cause there's a cute boy coming idk

Yes that is extremely normal. Don't sweat it.

thank u friend

kitty cats are beautiful
once i got so nervous over going to sb practice and seeing my friends i started crying and then threw up

so u kno how disney channel has so many dramatic shows its not even good anymore

the teacher was like "act like ur on the disney channel" and the first think i thought abt was Shake It Up! and hes like "thats not disney disney is happy and nice" so like

ok
have u seen disney
i wasnt wrong
coul u specify

i dont like theatre gg 2 much anxiety

also i found out that i really dislike it when ppl tell me im overreacting when it comes to something im anxious abt. like if i dont ask them, i don't want them to say im overreacting because that doesnt help me in that particular situation since i didnt ask. and it makes me more anxious that im overreacting since i already know i have nothing to be scared abt.

however i will ask my friends if im overreacting and thats when it will be okay to say yes or no. because sometimes i need confirmation that my fears are valid but still unlikely. sometimes i get so wrapped up that i dont actually know if my fears are likely or not and THATS when i will ask to know if im overreacting. in those cases, i am soothed by ppl saying im overreacting (when i ask) because then i know my fears are unlikely.

this is weird. i just feel really detached and out of place but like not in a bad way i just feel like i'm not in this world right now and idek i'm just getting the feeling that something wrong is happening/will happen/has happened. idek it's weird but i just get the sense that something bad is about to happen.

what the hell

i really shouldn't read triggering things

I was at a football game and most of my friends are girls just because I just like the personality that girls have more than boys. Well … most boys. Except Marco XD
Anyways so there's been a few times when someone in my school has called me gay and I'm a Christian, and i'm not gay, so this made me kind of mad and kind of sad. I prayed about it every time it happened, talked to my parents. And then this last Friday I was walking around with three of my friends … we'll call them susie, lucy, and lanie. Well we went to sit beside these other people. One of my guy-friends Pittman was there so I sat there too. He was with his girlfriend Morgan. (#tb to last May me and "lanie" dated for about two weeks but we decided to just be friends). So I'm sort of flexible and Pittman wanted me to show his friend K.C. the awkward flexible way I can sit (no I can't do a split). Then K.C. said, "Come on Gay Garrett," and it didn't make me sad this time. It made me mad. And sadly when I get mad I cry. So I was trying to hold back my tears, and then a row of boys behind pittman and K.C. whispered to Morgan something, and looked at me. I got a few snippets of what they were saying, and I knew that they were making jokes about me/calling me gay. So Morgan told Tori (lanie's bfffl) and they all just laughed, except for lanie, lucy, and susie. They were kind of out of it in their own little convo. I guess Tori saw that I was about to cry, and she told me not to worry about it. I wan't worrying. I got up out of my seat and had the urge to punch K.C. in the face. INstead of violence, I just got his attention and told him straight up that I wasn't gay. I'm over i now, I just felt like getting that story off my chest.

that could actually be a really cool opening paragraph to a book 0_0.

same
but it will get better
what does being a christian have to do with being gay

people have been saying that to me for like idk almost two years? and nothing's changed. and i feel like if i try to change things i'm just gonna make shit worse.

ok so maybe it's not getting better as people said it will or something but i can promise you, that in 10 years when you are an adult free from school bullies and asshats, you will be better. whether that's through getting help which i do recommend though i haven't got first-hand experience with that or something else i know that this won't matter in 10 years.

i really want you to get better, man.

it's not about school bullies, well sort of it is, but not as much as it used to be. i just really hate myself and other stuff...
thanks

I don't know who I am anymore I'm just an empty shell of a person and I doubt that I ever was something more than a husk, a shadow, a nothingness that just takes up space and inside of me I feel something, like maybe I have some substance but there's this shell that prevents me from breaking but it prevents me from breathing and I can't breathe anymore, I can't feel anymore and I don't even know who I want to be anymore.

And I think I love you, man, but I hate myself for it and I can't stop thinking about you and I want to show you who I am but who am I I'm just nothing I'm boring and superficial and I can't take these people gosh I hate people and I'm a terrible person for saying it but I can't stand people and i can't stand my friends I just want everyone to leave me alone I just want to be able to be poetic, or something I don't know why do I write in run-on sentences ugh I don't know and it's not just that I hate people I hate myself I hate myself so much and I can't take it I can't take it nothing helps who the heck am I.

I wanted to be radiant I wanted to be laughter and sunshine and rainfall and all that crap but I'm not I'm just ordinary and boring and nothing worth looking at.

This is really petty and I'm sorry I just needed to vent a bit,