The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

i got put on new meds yesterday as well as getting the dosage on the meds im already taking upped.
one of the side effects of the new meds is possible weight gain and i really really really want to avoid that holy shit because if i gain any more weight when im five pounds away from my goal i might actually go berserk
plus i had my second panic attack in a row last night (i had one the night before last as well) and thats never happened before and i dont really know how to handle this my parents really cannot deal with these attacks at all and i wish theyd stop already uhhhHHH
ok sorry thats all bye

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverMoon (Post 523907)

I was looking through some of my old stuff earlier, and it made me think of you guys. That's what everything tends to do, these days. What can I look at that doesn't remind me of you? It doesn't matter, anyways. You're always on my mind.

Hey, I miss you guys.
I miss you a lot.
I miss the Old Gang.
The Old Days.
The Old Ways.

I still don't know why you were friends with me back then. Looking back on it all, I was naive. I was clingy. I was so... Different. But I had innocence that I now lack.

How have you guys changed? Do you all still care? Did you ever care as much as I did? I don't know. It's so hard for me to trust others, and I trusted you guys. Now we're split.

I've been thinking about you guys even more than usual lately. And I've been thinking about myself.

Back then, I was idealistic. Naive. Innocent, to a degree. Hey, remember LIVE reverse it boldly? Remember the Nakamurans? Remember Roekians? LTRH? Our love for omegas? 5th grade camp? Our obsession with our beloved book series? Hey, remember those times when we were together, when we were childish but content? They seem so far away now. Now. A strange time. I went dark. I can't do it without you, okay? I'm not stable anymore. Not inside, at least. What even am I now? I don't even know myself anymore. Who am I? Tch. Pathetic is the what, I guess. And oh, yes, the cynicism. I gained a ton of that. I'm also a lot more bitter now. Let me introduce you to the major hindrances in my life: pride, and a crap ton of it; envy, too much of it weighing down my heart; hatred, casting crimson shadows on my soul; nostalgia, only able to be described as a longing, sorrowful rainbow. At least I've gained some eloquence. As if.

Tch. I'm too tired for this.
Just wanted to let you know,
That I'm never ever gonna let go.

I know, lame right?

Same. I miss the days when I could still afford to write every day.

My life is shit right now and I can't believe it's school that's causing all that. Not even the people--well, just a few that won't stop calling me jabber for no reason at all (they're not even being mean. They're just like 'hey jabber'), but I have three tests this week and a piano exam coming soon.
And a crazy art teacher who makes the entire class stay 20mins after school to do her stuff just cos
And I'm barely passing in Chinese, failing in some aspects (I AS ONE MARK AWAY FROM A PASS IN LISTENING. ONE MARK.

"are you sad?"
"you could say that"
"do you want to talk about it?"

yes
i do
but i don't have people i trust enough to talk about it with

ignore this never mind me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lena (Post 523965)

"are you sad?"
"you could say that"
"do you want to talk about it?"

yes
i do
but i don't have people i trust enough to talk about it with

ignore this never mind me

Lenakins

If you don't want to that's fine, but you know my email's always open, right? You just helped me. I will always be here to help you, my friend. Always.

envy problems again oh joy why life why

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 523925)

erdtfygulhij;o i want to help you so much

this is gonna sound so bad but my sister is bipolar/panic disorder and she takes lithium and it's rly helped she hasn't had an attack in like 3 months

ily

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 523997)

erdtfygulhij;o i want to help you so much

this is gonna sound so bad but my sister is bipolar/panic disorder and she takes lithium and it's rly helped she hasn't had an attack in like 3 months

ily

it doesn't sound that bad idk i just dont think i'd take anything that wasnt prescribed by my psychiatrist first
thank you though you ARE helping and i love you too <3

also my psychiatrist brought up DID and ive looked into that quite a lot so now my new meds have mood stabilizer bc i dont legit have DID but i do have DID-like symptoms and oh god do you ever just look at your life and go when the fuck did i get so fucked up

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 524003)

ya ya ya
:D
DID is dissociative identity disorder right idk
but you can look at the future and you'll be even cooler than you are now

So I have a cold and when I got up a few minutes ago, I went to my parents room to get my jeans and a shirt (yes I share a closet with my parents. I have to share a bedroom with my sister and she got the closet in there) and all the sudden I felt really sick. I was kind of dizzy and I was expecting to throw up any minute. So I sat on the floor in the closet (it's a walk in closet I'm not weird) and even lye down for a minute. My mom walked out of the bathroom and I told her what happened. I don't feel like throwing up or fainting any more, but I feel really weak. Like I can't hold my own body weight with out shaking a little bit.