The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

L.S.Trendom 12-06-2012 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 373867)
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...c6nwo1_500.gif

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...c6nwo2_500.gif

.......I'm sorry, Doctor, but your logic is flawed. ._.

I can't keep doing this. Flopping from extreme joy to extreme depression is taking a toll on me, my writing, my responsibilities, my health, and my schoolwork. It's like jumping into a tub of steaming hot water every time you start to cool down. It hurts to come back to the sadness after you've been having fun. Once you adjust back to it, it still hurts, but it's...a less noticeable hurt.

I'm tired. So, so very tired. x_x Emotionally and physically tired. I'm tired of ALL OF THIS.

I'm sorry. :/ I can sort of relate… I used to go through mood swings a lot (though not really to joyful-ness, more of spazziness and lack of depression) (and lately I've just been apathetic), but… I wish I could save you from some of the toll it's taking on you. :/
*hugs*

@Heather: *Hugs you too*

TheAshWolf 12-06-2012 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 373870)
I'm sorry. :/ I can sort of relate… I used to go through mood swings a lot (though not really to joyful-ness, more of spazziness and lack of depression) (and lately I've just been apathetic), but… I wish I could save you from some of the toll it's taking on you. :/
*hugs*

@Heather: *Hugs you too*

*hugs back* Thanks, Tredom. You're a great friend.

But...it's really not mood swings. It's what's happening in my life. ._. I go have fun for the weekend, then come back home on Sunday to find that everything is all screwed up. I enjoy the meeting, and then get reminded of something horrible that happened, and I can't take it. I enjoy reading a story or watching a show I like, and then get wind of something horrible that happened to someone I care about that didn't have to happen.

....On a completely random note, I found that Doctor, Window and Wardrobe GIF you were looking for. X'D ;w;

HeatherB 12-06-2012 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 373870)
@Heather: *Hugs you too*

so i might or might've not started scratching again...
NBD. Really.
I just need to feel something other than nothing.

soph-soph27 12-06-2012 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373883)
so i might or might've not started scratching again...
NBD. Really.
I just need to feel something other than nothing.

Heather. No. Please. God, no, please. Just after I stopped. No. Heather, feel love. Please, anything but scratching. My god, please Heather, for all the time I've ever known you, please.

Oh God, my God,
I pray that these things never end,
The sand and the sea,
The rush of the water,
The crash of the heavens,
The prayers of all.


Please Heather.

BlueMi 12-06-2012 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373883)
so i might or might've not started scratching again...
NBD. Really.
I just need to feel something other than nothing.

If you post that, it's obvious that you have. ;-; I was trying to give you indirect advice today, when we were sitting in the v*****, but I just sounded stupid.

L.S.Trendom 12-06-2012 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 373877)
*hugs back* Thanks, Tredom. You're a great friend.

But...it's really not mood swings. It's what's happening in my life. ._. I go have fun for the weekend, then come back home on Sunday to find that everything is all screwed up. I enjoy the meeting, and then get reminded of something horrible that happened, and I can't take it. I enjoy reading a story or watching a show I like, and then get wind of something horrible that happened to someone I care about that didn't have to happen.

....On a completely random note, I found that Doctor, Window and Wardrobe GIF you were looking for. X'D ;w;

Not the slightest problem. (:

Oh… that sucks worse. :/ Things'll get better. It's kind of cheesy and overused, but whatever problems you're going through, they won't last forever and I believe you can beat them.
And I really wish I could help with all of that. Dx

Yeah. xD
Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373883)
so i might or might've not started scratching again...
NBD. Really.
I just need to feel something other than nothing.

I can relate. I felt like that the other day. Which is why I was sort of happy when I thought I was about to start having self-destructive but not apathetic mood swings. Which is why I kind of want to try triggering those mood swings. something other than this apathetic numbness I hardly f***ing notice.
It might not be a big deal now… but please please please don't let it become cutting.

soph-soph27 12-06-2012 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 373891)

I can relate. I felt like that the other day. Which is why I was sort of happy when I thought I was about to start having self-destructive but not apathetic mood swings. Which is why I kind of want to try triggering those mood swings. something other than this apathetic numbness I hardly f***ing notice.
It might not be a big deal now… but please please please don't let it become cutting.

Like I did.

L.S.Trendom 12-06-2012 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373883)
so i might or might've not started scratching again...
NBD. Really.
I just need to feel something other than nothing.

And listen to, like, love songs. Happy songs. Religious songs (like by Skillet and Relient K, not overtly religious but it could be), even if you don't believe in them. At least… that helps me.
And this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yikzoM4tbfg Usually it makes me cry and feel less depressed.

HeatherB 12-06-2012 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 373891)
I can relate. I felt like that the other day. Which is why I was sort of happy when I thought I was about to start having self-destructive but not apathetic mood swings. Which is why I kind of want to try triggering those mood swings. something other than this apathetic numbness I hardly f***ing notice.
It might not be a big deal now… but please please please don't let it become cutting.

Exactly. I just need to feel SOMETHING, and if it's hurt, it's better than... whatever the hell I've been NOT feeling for the past week.
It will never become cutting. *laughs bitterly* As much as I want to, I never could.

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 373893)
And listen to, like, love songs. Happy songs. Religious songs (like by Skillet and Relient K, not overtly religious but it could be), even if you don't believe in them. At least… that helps me.
And this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yikzoM4tbfg Usually it makes me cry and feel less depressed.

Glee. Glee is good. /nods

LaurenM 12-07-2012 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 373836)
That... would be me. Every Thursday.

You know what scares me most?

It's not that I'm in speech therapy.

It's not that I sound like a three-year-old.

It's not that my speech therapist is sent straight from the devil.


It's that my parents are too embarressed to have a kid who talks funny to care that I cry myself to sleep.

I have this classmate called Katrina whose voice sounds like a three-year old and is friggin' awesome. It's not a lisp, but it's very high-pitched and she doesn't enunciate very clearly, even though it doesn't sound bad. Everyone in the class loves her.
Don't let your parents get you down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 374034)
We were watching the news, my dad, mum and I. And suddenly a Daniel morcombe case comes on (google it, it's Australian). I said how I didn't think he looked 14. And then I heard my dad 'quietly' whisper " she's awful.. Can I disown her?"

That made me die inside, it confirmed what I thought. I'm crying as I write this..if it was a joke, dad, you couldn't ever be a comedian. Don't say things like that to me. Ou know I'm quite... Sensitive. What you don't know is that I'm cutting, I'm depressed..

Oh and now he's yelling at mum. Fucking fantastic. Pardon my language, please...

I'm so scared ._.

First, don't think of it as your problem. Get your self-esteem high and think, 'That's just me, no matter how you like it or not'. 'Well, your mind is warped, because I don't see any problem with what I just said.'
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 374038)
I finally did it.
I told my best friend about my cutting, and being depressed. She actually believed me. Se says when she sees me next we are going to talk and next year she's coming to counselling with me if I need it. Im scared she will tell people, though. I hate rumours.

I told her over minecraft in a pm.

I'm so happy I did it, but still in this dark hole ._.

/throws Pluzzle some ladders and a torch.
I'm so happy for you ^_^

Sandy 12-07-2012 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 374034)
We were watching the news, my dad, mum and I. And suddenly a Daniel morcombe case comes on (google it, it's Australian). I said how I didn't think he looked 14. And then I heard my dad 'quietly' whisper " she's awful.. Can I disown her?"

That made me die inside, it confirmed what I thought. I'm crying as I write this..if it was a joke, dad, you couldn't ever be a comedian. Don't say things like that to me. Ou know I'm quite... Sensitive. What you don't know is that I'm cutting, I'm depressed..

Oh and now he's yelling at mum. Fucking fantastic. Pardon my language, please...

I'm so scared ._.

Reminds me of how my dad has been treating me lately... I don't know what I did, dad, but I'm sorry...
He's yelling at me and getting mad at me for the tiniest things, which is really unlike him... I literally have to shut him up with my marks. He'll be doing what your dad does to you but to me, going on and on in this horrible sarcastic voice, and I'll say, "Dad, I have over 95% in all my classes and I just got a math test back, 97%, and then my English test was 96%..." and then he shuts up and stops for a little while, but I have to keep feeding him marks to keep him off my back.
I don't know why he's doing this. :/
I'm just a report card to him. Same with my mom...

DragonRider 12-07-2012 01:46 PM

My eight year old sister tried to shove me in front of cars at least twice today.
Intentionally.
And I can't do anything because no-one ever believes me.

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 06:04 PM

I feel like I should post on the thread 'cause this isn't dark.
Today has gone fairly well and I feel kind of happyish at the moment and I'm listening to awesome (unhappy, at the moment) music. ^.^

HeatherB 12-07-2012 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374101)
I feel like I should post on the thread 'cause this isn't dark.
Today has gone fairly well and I feel kind of happyish at the moment and I'm listening to awesome (unhappy, at the moment) music. ^.^

Good for you! :'D


today i just felt really alone and neglected and idk. and then at the end of the day i was happy for a few minutes or so but then at ex-day it just reached a low point and when i got home i tried to stab myself in the palm with my sharpened nail when i was writing but it didn't work and i tried to draw blood but i couldn't even break the skin and i wanted to break the skin. i still want to break the skin and i feel like a big hypocrite because i just helped a friend to try to stop cutting and i'm bringing her candy on Monday as a reward but i'm not cutting, not really, i just want to bleed...

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374125)
Good for you! :'D


today i just felt really alone and neglected and idk. and then at the end of the day i was happy for a few minutes or so but then at ex-day it just reached a low point and when i got home i tried to stab myself in the palm with my sharpened nail when i was writing but it didn't work and i tried to draw blood but i couldn't even break the skin and i wanted to break the skin. i still want to break the skin and i feel like a big hypocrite because i just helped a friend to try to stop cutting and i'm bringing her candy on Monday as a reward but i'm not cutting, not really, i just want to bleed...

I know what you mean about wanting to draw blood…
how about i won't if you won't?

HeatherB 12-07-2012 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374134)
I know what you mean about wanting to draw blood…
how about i won't if you won't?

I need to feel something that isn't nothing. I need to.
i don't know if i can't but i don't want you to

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374136)
I need to feel something that isn't nothing. I need to.
i don't know if i can't but i don't want you to

try something else like thinking of sad or happy memories or just the past if you're a nostalgic person
listen to some sad or happy music
please just try something else first

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374139)
try something else like thinking of sad or happy memories or just the past if you're a nostalgic person
listen to some sad or happy music
please just try something else first

i'll try
if you try


dear god my palm hurts
but still i haven't broken the skin goddammit
BREAK

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374141)
i'll try
if you try


dear god my palm hurts
but still i haven't broken the skin goddammit
BREAK

okay
even though i really want to try spiralling away from this apathy…
There's gotta be another way, something else that helps…

Owen-L 12-07-2012 07:09 PM

So it's mean to insult people with a disability, but it's okay to insult people who don't have a disability? Some people need to sort their logic out. It's not okay to insult anyone.

maxi 12-07-2012 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 374147)
So it's mean to insult people with a disability, but it's okay to insult people who don't have a disability? Some people need to sort their logic out. It's not okay to insult anyone.

Holy crap. What happened? D:

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374146)
okay
even though i really want to try spiralling away from this apathy…
There's gotta be another way, something else that helps…

I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't I won't I won't.

goddammit why can't i listen to music when i need it jfc

Owen-L 12-07-2012 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 374149)
Holy crap. What happened? D:

Nothing... just venting and stuff.

maxi 12-07-2012 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 374151)
Nothing... just venting and stuff.

._. Okay, if anything happens, you can tell me. ._.

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 374147)
So it's mean to insult people with a disability, but it's okay to insult people who don't have a disability? Some people need to sort their logic out. It's not okay to insult anyone.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m52dd64Gwb1qh1eug.gif
You're awesome. They're not.
Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374150)
I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't I won't I won't.

goddammit why can't i listen to music when i need it jfc

*is proud of you for at least trying*

does like pokey or someone from school have earbuds you can borrow? or would that not help?

Owen-L 12-07-2012 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 374153)
._. Okay, if anything happens, you can tell me. ._.

Okay. If anything bad happens in school on Monday, I'll tell you and stuff. >_>

Owen-L 12-07-2012 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374157)

XD That gif made me laugh. XD
I know. They could die for all I care. >_>

Sorry for messed up sentences... when you vent for one of the first times in your life, and your anger has been building up for such a long time.. it happens. >_<

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374157)
*is proud of you for at least trying*

does like pokey or someone from school have earbuds you can borrow? or would that not help?

*le thinks you should thus try, according to the agreement*

eh. no. my dad would be like "but why must you listen to muuuuuuuusic it's just another m*******ing distraaaaaaaaaaction"

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 374161)
XD That gif made me laugh. XD
I know. They could die for all I care. >_>

Sorry for messed up sentences... when you vent for one of the first times in your life, and your anger has been building up for such a long time.. it happens. >_<

Awww, I'm sorry it's been building it up and you haven't been able to let it out. :/
You can email me too if you want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374162)
*le thinks you should thus try, according to the agreement*

eh. no. my dad would be like "but why must you listen to muuuuuuuusic it's just another m*******ing distraaaaaaaaaaction"

*will try* *at least sort of* *because right now i guess i sort of don't really give a shit about the apathy*

could you find an excuse to go outside and use an iPod or go to a friend's house?

soph-soph27 12-07-2012 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374150)
I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't scratch. I won't I won't I won't.

goddammit why can't i listen to music when i need it jfc

Dammit, I forgot to give you a lollipop. Heather, you gave me a talk when I needed it, and I will always be here, right behind you, your bright knight. I know you aren't asking for support, but Heather, draw butterflies where you're scratching. I named mine for K, G, you, and E. And Wyatt. Stay you.

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374166)
*will try* *at least sort of* *because right now i guess i sort of don't really give a shit about the apathy*

could you find an excuse to go outside and use an iPod or go to a friend's house?

*please do try* *i'm only trying if you try*

Nope. Joy oh joy. My parents would have a fit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 374167)
Dammit, I forgot to give you a lollipop. Heather, you gave me a talk when I needed it, and I will always be here, right behind you, your bright knight. I know you aren't asking for support, but Heather, draw butterflies where you're scratching. I named mine for K, G, you, and E. And Wyatt. Stay you.

And you're my morning bird? xD Oh, so I should draw butterflies everywhere on my chest, torso, and legs. Right... that will happen. (maybe just small ones here and there, idk.) Good. You took my idea. :'D

lvhamsters 12-07-2012 07:27 PM

I think my friends a pathological one-upper. Not even kidding. Everything I say she just says she's done something better even if it's not true. I'm just getting so sick of it.

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374169)
*please do try* *i'm only trying if you try*

Nope. Joy oh joy. My parents would have a fit.

I am.

:/ I don't know, then…

soph-soph27 12-07-2012 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 374169)
*please do try* *i'm only trying if you try*

Nope. Joy oh joy. My parents would have a fit.


And you're my morning bird? xD Oh, so I should draw butterflies everywhere on my chest, torso, and legs. Right... that will happen. (maybe just small ones here and there, idk.) Good. You took my idea. :'D

Yup, I'm your morning bird. Small ones are still good, just places to remind you, to tell you.

Owen-L 12-07-2012 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374166)
Awww, I'm sorry it's been building it up and you haven't been able to let it out. :/
You can email me too if you want.


Either that or my mind is probably naturally messed up.. maybe even both.
Nah, that's okay, but thanks.

L.S.Trendom 12-07-2012 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 374186)
Either that or my mind is probably naturally messed up.. maybe even both.
Nah, that's okay, but thanks.

I think maybe everyone is at least a little messed up… but you don't seem messed up to me.

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 374176)
Yup, I'm your morning bird. Small ones are still good, just places to remind you, to tell you.

All right. Okay...
Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 374173)
I am.

:/ I don't know, then…

Good.

Yeah, well, neither do I. It's a battle I've been fighting for far too long but it's not one I'm going to win.

HeatherB 12-07-2012 07:52 PM

Hahaha I just thought of another thing that makes this year's 8th graders so effing different from last year's...
I don't think any of them were depressed in the slightest.
Or cut.
Or scratched.
Or were emotionless robots.
Or were bitches.

WELL THEN.

TheAshWolf 12-07-2012 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 374051)
Reminds me of how my dad has been treating me lately... I don't know what I did, dad, but I'm sorry...
He's yelling at me and getting mad at me for the tiniest things, which is really unlike him... I literally have to shut him up with my marks. He'll be doing what your dad does to you but to me, going on and on in this horrible sarcastic voice, and I'll say, "Dad, I have over 95% in all my classes and I just got a math test back, 97%, and then my English test was 96%..." and then he shuts up and stops for a little while, but I have to keep feeding him marks to keep him off my back.
I don't know why he's doing this. :/
I'm just a report card to him. Same with my mom...

Okay, that's just not fair. .___. *makes a weird noise that can only be described as a cross between a dejected sigh and a growl* I'm so sorry, Sandy. x_x I don't know what to say or how to help you. I'm sorry. *hugs*

Jesse 12-07-2012 08:45 PM

I'm tired of being the quiet, shy freak in the corner.

I don't hate anybody but myself.


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