The Writer's Block

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-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

LaurenM 01-02-2013 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396751)
F**k it.

I'm deleting my tumblr, Instagram, and all the other accounts I have except for Skype, email and kidpub. I have realised that if I hate people, and people hate me, why not cut ties with the world? And this will sound very strange, but have you ever wondered about being selectively mute? I have. I'm going to try it. It won't last long - I can tell - i just want t get a reaction for once.

Oh, and I am no longer "romantically linked" to this max guy. Basically, he's just going to be my friend and I am going to point it out.

When I told him about deleting my accounts, he said why. I said what I said about people,and he said what's the point of what? It was the perfect time to tell him I'd thought about suicide recently,but I didn't. He then said "having accounts?" And I said 'a little bit.i was leaning to something else but I'll tell you a different time. He said for me to tell him. I told him something subtle.. He caught on pretty quick,

So now I'm writing this in my ipad with my iPod on my stomach waiting for him to reply to what I said (a joke, to lighten my mood. Didn't work). I doubt he will ever say a word to me again... But for some strange reason that's okay.

Because I don't know if I want him to, sometimes.

F**k the world.. I want to be alone. Can't you see that, everyone? Can't you stop tormenting me into further misery for a couple of minutes while I wipe the tears away?

Stop...

Go to somewhere you can be alone as soon as you can. Crank up some music and let yourself cry. If you can't cry, just bury your head in your arms. Then concentrate on something you like to do with the music still on.

L.S.Trendom 01-02-2013 12:41 AM

@Pluzzle and Ash: ;_; *hugs*
*about all I can manage in reply to EVT at the moment*

L.S.Trendom 01-02-2013 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396791)
http://www.health.qld.gov.au/rch/pro...nals/cymhs.asp

Revealing my state... Oh well. But that's a children mental health hospital.
please parents, notice and refer me please

i know I need help but I can't get it

*hugs again*
can you ask like a school counsellor to refer you to it?
please try your hardest to get help.

*hands ice cream and chocolate and Doctor Who to cheer you up* c:

LaurenM 01-02-2013 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396765)
thanks... will do. Thanks for being there for me when I need someone, Lauren:)

I try :/ /hugs.
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396791)
http://www.health.qld.gov.au/rch/pro...nals/cymhs.asp

Revealing my state... Oh well. But that's a children mental health hospital.
please parents, notice and refer me please

i know I need help but I can't get it

Well, at least you're brave enough to admit that. I don't think most people would like to admit they need help and get what's better for them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396798)
I shall try in a month when school starts again c:

:) thank you :3

*hug*

A month? o_o
Oh, wait, it's summer in Australia, right? So, it's your summer holiday?

TheAshWolf 01-02-2013 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 396742)
It's not that I don't get enough love, or don't have enough people who love me.
._.

It's the fact that the last person who stabbed me in the back somehow put a black hole in my heart. It sucks up and destroys most of the positive feelings I have before I can actually feel them. It seems to be a bottomless pit. I feel lonely all the time because of it.

It's not your fault I'm like this. Is it mine? I'm not sure. I hope not. But, I don't care who is to blame, really...I just want to get rid of this thing so I can stop feeling so darn lonely all the time. x_x *tries to hug my dog* *dog hates hugs and promptly starts growling* You're NOT helping. ._.

How do sad songs just FIND ME when I'm feeling sad? XD XD DX DX
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI3KwdrUqGI

L.S.Trendom 01-02-2013 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 396812)
How do sad songs just FIND ME when I'm feeling sad? XD XD DX DX
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI3KwdrUqGI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0En7JZ0KQc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3zcypsjO8o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMZ-Mok0vBQ

Rockshadow 01-02-2013 02:14 AM

I stood up for a girl who was insulting my "friends" but my friends were insulting her back worse, and then I got hate from both sides in return. My best online friend...Reyna...she never truly cared about me, and I guess that's what hurts the most. For someone you loved (as a friend) to not care about you in the end...but I should have foreseen that. Whenever someone hurts me that I care about, I close my heart, in a sense. I become cold and a shadow, more bitter and afraid to love. Then i let my guard down and this happens.

i should really stop trusting so many people.

Rockshadow 01-02-2013 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396829)
D: *le not sure what to say* /hugs

Did you know Reyna, or was she purely online?

Don't worry.. We all feel hurt once in a while...okay that didn't sound right. But I think you get what I'm saying?

Once again, /hugs

You'll be okay :)

how do I give "advice" when I can't trust myself to say anything anymore

Online...and thanks. :)

L.S.Trendom 01-02-2013 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396834)
the one downside of going to that hospital would be when I went to school there would be rumours started primarily by my friends and I'd be labelled as insane and crazy (which is applicable)

but it could help you and that's what's important. eff whatever anyone thinks if they're not supportiveŚ"those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

TheAshWolf 01-02-2013 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 396843)
but it could help you and that's what's important. eff whatever anyone thinks if they're not supportiveŚ"those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

Charlieissocoollike quote? (Or did someone say that before he did? XD)

L.S.Trendom 01-02-2013 02:44 AM

It's from Doctor Seuss xD

rebecca 01-02-2013 03:16 AM

I missed all the debate about schools...I hate my school. The people freak me out, when I just want to be left alone. My best friend might be leaving. The only other person I could rely on is a borderline sociopath. We can't afford any private schools, unlike my friend who will be attending some girls school after she leaves. I just cannot go through exams. I hate thinking about the future, because it makes me feel helpless. I just want to get out, but it's a good school, I'm enjoying some lessons, such as drama (and I don't want to quit drama), and so far they have been supportive - except when they put me in isolation and I have more fun than I do normally. Think about it, idiots! I have Asperger's, therefore I dislike people, therefore I enjoy isolation.

I wish there was a school better for me that we could afford, but there isn't.

rebecca 01-02-2013 03:49 AM

I did that once...when I was five years old, about six years before diagnosis, whilst I was still a nice sociable child (which kind of died when I turned out to be such an odd creature)...

rebecca 01-02-2013 03:57 AM

I was...I used to join in, but people realised I was a bit odd and I became abandoned. I gave up with people a long time ago.

rebecca 01-02-2013 04:14 AM

Wait, what?

rebecca 01-02-2013 04:18 AM

Is that why people do the white writing thing.

lvhamsters 01-02-2013 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396899)
oh dad you don't understand why I sit in my room on the floor with my ipad? you want me to come out of my room? No thanks, I like the company of myself. Oh, and I'm trying not to think about suicide or self harm. No big deal? you won't know until school starts

:( I know how you feel, but don't think about suicide or self harm. There's lots of things that will be better in the future :) Just think about it. I know, it sounds like bull, and I'm not exactly the right person to say this, but . . . . It's quite true.

rebecca 01-02-2013 04:32 AM

Ah. Never knew that until now!

LaurenM 01-02-2013 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396893)
Ah okay. I was abandoned because I skipped a grade, and therefore was bullied for being smart. From then on, I did classes in the upper school and became friends with them.

Then someone jumped off the roof on my last day there before we moved here, to Australia. Now that freaked me out.

Who You Are! /points at your sig.
I don't get why people think clever is bad. People point that out at my school in a somewhat taunting way because I can be somewhat tedious when I correct someone's grammar during their own PowerPoint presentations, but they don't bully me.

rebecca 01-02-2013 06:13 AM

Clever is amazingly awesome because...it is.

LaurenM 01-02-2013 06:25 AM

Indeed. Explanation unneeded.

rebecca 01-02-2013 06:29 AM

There is no explanation. It just is.

Stephiey 01-02-2013 01:04 PM

Hey, does anyone want to apply to Interlochen's summer creative writing class with me??? :D It would be awesome if we could go together :):)

MaryElizabeth 01-02-2013 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bex (Post 396425)
I am aware. But I have about $10,000 in savings, this year my disability fund will total to be about $6,000 and I could easily save about $5,000, then I could apply for a financial aid.

I just realized.

Interlochen, for boarding students, is $70,000.

Per year.

Stephiey 01-02-2013 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 397324)
I just realized.

Interlochen, for boarding students, is $70,000.

Per year.

? I thought it was like 40,000-something....

01-02-2013 03:16 PM

I'm really proud of myself. :) One of my New Years Resolutions was to lose weight. I pretty much want a flat stomach, though. I've already lost four inches off my waist. I've been exercising daily, too, doing crunches and sit ups and a bunch of other stuff. ^_^ I mean, I don't want to be a stick or anything. xD My goal weight is 120 pounds...so I have fourteen pounds to lose. :/ I'm doing weekly weigh ins to make myself really try hard to lose the weight. :D

BlueMi 01-02-2013 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 397384)
I'm really proud of myself. :) One of my New Years Resolutions was to lose weight. I pretty much want a flat stomach, though. I've already lost four inches off my waist. I've been exercising daily, too, doing crunches and sit ups and a bunch of other stuff. ^_^ I mean, I don't want to be a stick or anything. xD My goal weight is 120 pounds...so I have fourteen pounds to lose. :/ I'm doing weekly weigh ins to make myself really try hard to lose the weight. :D

Still wanna do the exercise thing with me? :D I did flying trapeze today, which is a work out haha. But we could write up like five things to do daily, and every couple days we can post a pic and tag each other to check in. :P

HeatherB 01-02-2013 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 397396)
Still wanna do the exercise thing with me? :D I did flying trapeze today, which is a work out haha. But we could write up like five things to do daily, and every couple days we can post a pic and tag each other to check in. :P

I blogged a lot today! My fingers are sore now. xD
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 396751)
F**k it.

I'm deleting my tumblr, Instagram, and all the other accounts I have except for Skype, email and kidpub. I have realised that if I hate people, and people hate me, why not cut ties with the world? And this will sound very strange, but have you ever wondered about being selectively mute? I have. I'm going to try it. It won't last long - I can tell - i just want t get a reaction for once.

Oh, and I am no longer "romantically linked" to this max guy. Basically, he's just going to be my friend and I am going to point it out.

When I told him about deleting my accounts, he said why. I said what I said about people,and he said what's the point of what? It was the perfect time to tell him I'd thought about suicide recently,but I didn't. He then said "having accounts?" And I said 'a little bit.i was leaning to something else but I'll tell you a different time. He said for me to tell him. I told him something subtle.. He caught on pretty quick,

So now I'm writing this in my ipad with my iPod on my stomach waiting for him to reply to what I said (a joke, to lighten my mood. Didn't work). I doubt he will ever say a word to me again... But for some strange reason that's okay.

Because I don't know if I want him to, sometimes.

F**k the world.. I want to be alone. Can't you see that, everyone? Can't you stop tormenting me into further misery for a couple of minutes while I wipe the tears away?

Stop...

I know what it's like to want to be alone. My parents could never, ever understand just WHY I'm so addicted to the computer and the Internet--it's the only place where I feel safe, and am allowed to be me. I've gone mute a few times, and it's actually kind of nice. You don't have to talk to anyone, you don't even have to be noticed... Sometimes, when I don't like being me, I'll pretend I'm five years old, and rediscovering the world again. I'll pretend I'm someone else entirely. That's why I like acting. You don't have to be yourself, and you don't even have to live in this f---ed up world. And writing, you can create your own worlds, where it's safe, and okay. So that's what I can advise you to do. Write, or even if you're not writing, just imagine the world you'd like to be in, the world you'd like to see. Imagine the corniest, most cliche things--it doesn't matter if they're unicorns pooping rainbows or a haven behind a waterfall, whatever makes you feel safe is okay. Make a little world of your own and give it a name, and anytime someone says or does something to you or the world gives you yet another burden to carry on your back, think of the name of your world. That's what I do sometimes, when things get really rough. Just make yourself a safe place in you and you can go there anytime you want. Stay strong, hon. :')

@LST: *hugs*

lvhamsters 01-02-2013 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephiey (Post 397315)
Hey, does anyone want to apply to Interlochen's summer creative writing class with me??? :D It would be awesome if we could go together :):)

My eyes bugged out at the price XDDDD

bookworm1999 01-02-2013 04:04 PM

i can't explain why, don't really understand the feeling, but it feels terrible.... I feel like a load of crap.

TheAshWolf 01-02-2013 04:17 PM

Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday...how I hate thee. x_x *sits down in a corner* *curls up into a ball* I just want to disappear on Wednesdays...

nngo 01-02-2013 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 397442)
Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday...how I hate thee. x_x *sits down in a corner* *curls up into a ball* I just want to disappear on Wednesdays...

I used to hate Wednesdays too. I still kind of do. Mondays and Wednesdays.

bookworm1999 01-02-2013 04:27 PM

.....wow, #reallywantstoescape

01-02-2013 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 397396)
Still wanna do the exercise thing with me? :D I did flying trapeze today, which is a work out haha. But we could write up like five things to do daily, and every couple days we can post a pic and tag each other to check in. :P

What would we post a pic of, though? XD

lvhamsters 01-02-2013 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 397450)
.....wow, #reallywantstoescape

What's wrong? DX

bookworm1999 01-02-2013 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 397456)
What's wrong? DX

Thanks for replying.... first thing to say because no one ever does XD Just story stuff is making me terrible, and this website. i think I really need a break because it's tearing me apart. It's like I am running into the pit where I get torna nd then come back sobbing but then run back in again, not really knowing why.....*le rant*

BlueMi 01-02-2013 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 397454)
What would we post a pic of, though? XD

Uhmmm... your sweaty self? (hahahaha ew)
I dunno. :P

lvhamsters 01-02-2013 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 397458)
Thanks for replying.... first thing to say because no one ever does XD Just story stuff is making me terrible, and this website. i think I really need a break because it's tearing me apart. It's like I am running into the pit where I get torna nd then come back sobbing but then run back in again, not really knowing why.....*le rant*

o3o No problem.
Hm.... story stuff? What do you mean by that? D: ~confusion~

bookworm1999 01-02-2013 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 397460)
o3o No problem.
Hm.... story stuff? What do you mean by that? D: ~confusion~

me and a friend, I felt like our story was going to end... we were on a rollar coaster for months and then it suddenly died, now its back plotting some more, but things arent the same. I am not quite sure if she even wants to do it or not. I ask her and she never eally answers and exact yes or no... which proabaly means no but she can't face telling me...... that is just a deep deep terrible thought that occured and I want to shake off.

lvhamsters 01-02-2013 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 397462)
me and a friend, I felt like our story was going to end... we were on a rollar coaster for months and then it suddenly died, now its back plotting some more, but things arent the same. I am not quite sure if she even wants to do it or not. I ask her and she never eally answers and exact yes or no... which proabaly means no but she can't face telling me...... that is just a deep deep terrible thought that occured and I want to shake off.

Ohhh.... hm.... maybe you can talk to her about it, like you said you have, but ask her if she sincerely means it and to not be afraid to tell the truth. Or maybe she just needs a little break from the book. It's hard to tell without their opinion :3


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