The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Lily09 02-13-2013 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422946)
SHE JUST
ANYTHING I HAVE
SHE TAKES IT AWAY FROM ME.
MY OBSESSIONS
MY LIKES
SERIOUSLY
METAPHORICALLY OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T LITERALLY STEAL IT

i

?
What happened?

LaurenM 02-13-2013 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422952)
Oh just this girl COPYING MY EVERY OBSESSION

Like you read a book and she reads the same one?

LaurenM 02-13-2013 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422957)
Yeah. And if I'm obsessed with a youtuber, so is she:rolleyes:

That is freaky.

HeatherB 02-13-2013 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 422868)
No, Heather. Just no. Don't let this get to you! :( You're not going to die. You hear me? YOU. ARE. NOT. GOING. TO DIE. And I know you really don't want to, deep down. You just want the stress to end. It will end eventually, and you and I both know death is NOT the answer.

Besides, your father is just concerned about you, even if he has a strange way of showing it.

Like Tredom said, you're not going to die. We love you too much to just sit here silently as you go through all this. ;w; Please don't hurt yourself. Please don't let them get to you. You're a beautiful person, Heather, even if you don't see yourself as one. We all can see it. And one of these says, you'll see it, too.

it's really f*cking scary though
because this morning
he was asking me again
and he said
'are you sure that the only reason you're not eating is because you're not hungry?'
and i was so close again
just to breaking
snapping
saying
'no
no i'm not sure
because i'm afraid
and i want to die
and i'm more f*cked up than you or mom knows
or will allow me to be
and i want a therapist
and i want to go to people who will understand
and who will help
and who are professionals
so they'll know
exactly what to do
and i want to cry all the time
and i don't recognize my reflection
do you know who i am?
dad, i've lived with you for 13 years--
you must know--
i don't know anymore--
do i care?--
who am i?'
but then my brain gets offtrack into a les mis song and i shrug and don't respond.
Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 422869)
wow that's close

im scaring myself now
i looked on lots of charts and stuff
im 15 pounds underweight
that cant be right
but it all says it
multiple charts
i'm scared, i don't think I can do this
id excercise
i eat but i'm underweight
wahtthehell can i do?

you see yourself 10% more beautiful in the mirror than you are in real life

i must look like a monster

i must look like a klingon at my very best.
Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 422870)
thank you so so so much *hugs*
:/
I know how that feels, sometimes… we want you to stay out here, though, away from the black. Happy and amazing.

i've been feeling the blackness more and more lately
and it's just starting to look better and better
in comparison
to my actual living life
but then today
we had meeting partners
and i was reminded
that i have to at least wait till high school to kill myself
so that
the teachers don't have to explain to my meeting partner
who is like five or six or so
that the reason heather is no longer is at school
is because she's not anywhere anymore
but underground rotting dead
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 422913)
Yeah, it is, I think so. XD Either him or his brother, Hank.

It's definitely John. Trust me...

HeatherB 02-13-2013 04:40 PM

so i'm eating.
*throws glitter pathetically*

BlueMi 02-13-2013 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 422879)
I do Taekwondo, martial arts class.
I eat starches, and some fruits.
But I'm just scared because
I'm not me anymore
when I take a sort of deep breath while I'm in a tight fitting tank top, I can see the individual ribs and my spine is really defined
and I'm wondering if I shouldn't just accept it

but thank you.

Hey I'll trade with you. Don't be all "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT THIS". I was twenty pounds underweight in 6th grade ok? It's much better than the alternative. I'd kill someone to be skinny again.

moonbeam 02-13-2013 04:54 PM

7301th post on this thread! :D YAY!

BlueMi 02-13-2013 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423016)
it's really f*cking scary though
because this morning
he was asking me again
and he said
'are you sure that the only reason you're not eating is because you're not hungry?'
and i was so close again
just to breaking
snapping
saying
'no
no i'm not sure
because i'm afraid
and i want to die
and i'm more f*cked up than you or mom knows
or will allow me to be
and i want a therapist
and i want to go to people who will understand
and who will help
and who are professionals
so they'll know
exactly what to do
and i want to cry all the time
and i don't recognize my reflection
do you know who i am?
dad, i've lived with you for 13 years--
you must know--
i don't know anymore--
do i care?--
who am i?'
but then my brain gets offtrack into a les mis song and i shrug and don't respond.

i must look like a klingon at my very best.

i've been feeling the blackness more and more lately
and it's just starting to look better and better
in comparison
to my actual living life
but then today
we had meeting partners
and i was reminded
that i have to at least wait till high school to kill myself
so that
the teachers don't have to explain to my meeting partner
who is like five or six or so
that the reason heather is no longer is at school
is because she's not anywhere anymore
but underground rotting dead

It's definitely John. Trust me...

I have so much to say but absolutely no clue how to form words.

cheezemziez 02-13-2013 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422861)
my dad thinks our family is perfect.

my dad has high expectations, anger issues, and has no idea how to raise children that will grow up to be happy.

my mom is pretty good, no comment.

my brother is 90% like his father.

i want of this family and out of this life.

yes tell me again how perfect this family is again.

/huggles
Screw his 'perfect', then. You just do what is right for you. You have the strength and the intelligence to do that for yourself. He cannot force you to be unhappy, no one can. You can find ways to make yourself happy again. We're here for you. We'll help you any way we can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422905)
ugh
this was the same song I used to describe my aunt
now this is me

fences-paramore
this is why im scared
because i'm becoming more and more like my aunt that is depressed
and my dad... well, he yells at her for being depressed and says that she's worthless and she's just taking up space and she should die already
and what if i'm still like her when I grow up
imagine how my parents would react
or my brother
wow
okay

Don't be ashamed of who you are, or how you are, because of your family. There is no justifiable reason for him to yell at your aunt, just like there would be no reason for your family to yell at you. If you do get depressed when you're older, then your family should be fully supporting you and helping you through it. If they treat you like that, then they don't deserve to even be near someone as wonderful as you.
"Just because you're blood, it doesn't make you family. You have to earn that." ~Supernatural
Forgive the cliché, but: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ~Bernard Baruch/Dr Seuss/choose what you will.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422906)
and i want out i want out i dont want to be here anymore i dont want to be in this place, here, this earth anymore.
and im such a fking hypocrite because i tell my friend that self harm is not the solution but i cant help but think of it
and i feel so done about everything and i just want to go already

Please stay strong, Lily. You are better than all of this pain. You are amazing, and I really hate that you're going through this. I have no idea if I can even help, but I am here for you. We are all here for you, and we care about you and we care about what happens to you.

cheezemziez 02-13-2013 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423018)
so i'm eating.
*throws glitter pathetically*

That's great. In the very least, it's a step in the right direction. You can do this, Heather.

soph-soph27 02-13-2013 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 423019)
Hey I'll trade with you. Don't be all "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT THIS". I was twenty pounds underweight in 6th grade ok? It's much better than the alternative. I'd kill someone to be skinny again.

it's funny cause i know

but im not eating much anymore because i feel sick and nervous

all the time

it's getting old

i dont even care about being skinny or fat or any shit

i just want to be normal which will never happen

02-13-2013 06:06 PM

Ugh...I'm really starting to get stressed... >_< *rips out hair* We had this whole big science project to do with like five big assignments, and I have one left to do. The evil lab report. The experiment has to do something with weather and I have no freaking clue what to do it on. I really wanna do it on something easy...something I won't even have to actually do...I just wanna look it up online and write a couple paragraphs about it..is that too much to ask for?


And also, I'm trying soooo hard not to care what people think about me...but it's really hard because I'm one of those people who like to be liked by everyone. I'm starting not to care but I swear if she starts talking s*** to the highschoolers about me, I'm not afraid to fight her.


Okay...rant over. if you have any WEATHER related experiments, please let me know ASAP because it's kinda due friday.... *shamefully fades into the background*

HeatherB 02-13-2013 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 423025)
That's great. In the very least, it's a step in the right direction. You can do this, Heather.

i hate it
i'm not hungry
i swear i'm not
that's just how it is
i think i'll go try to throw up now
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 423043)
At least your parents notice -shrug-
my parents would pass it off as eating too much at school or something :/

they asked me if i was eating normally at school and everything
but i don't know if i want them to find out or just stay hidden
"little bundle of contradictions"
never has there been a more appropriate term for the adolescent girl

soph-soph27 02-13-2013 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 423057)
Ugh...I'm really starting to get stressed... >_< *rips out hair* We had this whole big science project to do with like five big assignments, and I have one left to do. The evil lab report. The experiment has to do something with weather and I have no freaking clue what to do it on. I really wanna do it on something easy...something I won't even have to actually do...I just wanna look it up online and write a couple paragraphs about it..is that too much to ask for?


And also, I'm trying soooo hard not to care what people think about me...but it's really hard because I'm one of those people who like to be liked by everyone. I'm starting not to care but I swear if she starts talking s*** to the highschoolers about me, I'm not afraid to fight her.


Okay...rant over. if you have any WEATHER related experiments, please let me know ASAP because it's kinda due friday.... *shamefully fades into the background*

Um...make your own lightning with baloons and static and stuff? Hot air and cold air for thunder demostration?

02-13-2013 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 423061)
Um...make your own lightning with baloons and static and stuff? Hot air and cold air for thunder demostration?

Haha yeah...I'll look at that. Lol I had like half the report typed out and then realized the experiment had nothing to do with weather. Smh. ._.

MaryElizabeth 02-13-2013 06:12 PM

Am I going anywhere?

soph-soph27 02-13-2013 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 423062)
Haha yeah...I'll look at that. Lol I had like half the report typed out and then realized the experiment had nothing to do with weather. Smh. ._.

Ohkay. Um. Can I help you any other way?

cheezemziez 02-13-2013 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423058)
i hate it
i'm not hungry
i swear i'm not
that's just how it is
i think i'll go try to throw up now


they asked me if i was eating normally at school and everything
but i don't know if i want them to find out or just stay hidden
"little bundle of contradictions"
never has there been a more appropriate term for the adolescent girl

Please don't try to throw it up. It will seem disgusting and too much and uncomfortable, but if you keep it down, then it will get better. Once you get past a certain point, the hunger will just lessen. But that doesn't mean that your body doesn't need the sustenance.

02-13-2013 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 423065)
Ohkay. Um. Can I help you any other way?

Nope!(: Thank ya!

HeatherB 02-13-2013 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 423068)
Please don't try to throw it up. It will seem disgusting and too much and uncomfortable, but if you keep it down, then it will get better. Once you get past a certain point, the hunger will just lessen. But that doesn't mean that your body doesn't need the sustenance.

I really really want to throw it up but I can't make myself throw up.
If I could...

BlueMi 02-13-2013 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423072)
I really really want to throw it up but I can't make myself throw up.
If I could...

don't
if you become bulimic
i will kill myself
you know why
it's deeper than just being disgusted
i am seriously terrified
by even the mention
it's sad
if you go through with this
i swear
please
god please
heather
i love you
you have
to
keep
it
down
.

HeatherB 02-13-2013 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 423085)
don't
if you become bulimic
i will kill myself
you know why
it's deeper than just being disgusted
i am seriously terrified
by even the mention
it's sad
if you go through with this
i swear
please
god please
heather
i love you
you have
to
keep
it
down
.

i'm trying to throw it up
but my body won't let me
i don't know whether it's right or wrong
to do that
but lately i haven't been liking my body very much
so i think
it's wrong
i think
i'll try
to throw up
some more

BlueMi 02-13-2013 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423088)
i'm trying to throw it up
but my body won't let me
i don't know whether it's right or wrong
to do that
but lately i haven't been liking my body very much
so i think
it's wrong
i think
i'll try
to throw up
some more

being bulimic doesn't give you a nice body
it's disgusting
and besides
do you want to be a nasty skeleton
i swear
you are already skinny as it is
and if you
go through with this
it's not your fault
if im afraid of you
(im sorry
but
just
emetophobia
is
my
only
real
fear
and
it's
so
much
more
than
just
being
disgusted
)

HeatherB 02-13-2013 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 423093)
being bulimic doesn't give you a nice body
it's disgusting
and besides
do you want to be a nasty skeleton
i swear
you are already skinny as it is
and if you
go through with this
it's not your fault
if im afraid of you
(im sorry
but
just
emetophobia
is
my
only
real
fear
and
it's
so
much
more
than
just
being
disgusted
)

i don't care whether it does or not
my body is sh*t anyways
and doomed
and i don't care
about my health anymore
about my body anymore
about my mentality anymore
about me anymore
i don't care at all
there's no point
i am not skinny
i'm already afraid of me
why shouldn't you be?
no one should care about me
it would make
dying
easier
.

MaryElizabeth 02-13-2013 06:41 PM

I hope that this won't be the best time of my life. So far, hell yeah, it is, but I don't want it to go downhill from here.

BlueMi 02-13-2013 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423098)
i don't care whether it does or not
my body is sh*t anyways
and doomed
and i don't care
about my health anymore
about my body anymore
about my mentality anymore
about me anymore
i don't care at all
there's no point
i am not skinny
i'm already afraid of me
why shouldn't you be?
no one should care about me
it would make
dying
easier
.

I shouldn't be afraid of you because I love you and you're not allowed to die because I will never stop.
You shouldn't put those fingers down your throat because I swear to god if you do I will..........
i don't know
i realize that at this point you're not really listening to what anyone says
in fact
you seem to be more motivated to do so whenever someone tries to talk you out
just please know
even if you don't care much either way
you're killing me inside

HeatherB 02-13-2013 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 423104)
I shouldn't be afraid of you because I love you and you're not allowed to die because I will never stop.
You shouldn't put those fingers down your throat because I swear to god if you do I will..........
i don't know
i realize that at this point you're not really listening to what anyone says
in fact
you seem to be more motivated to do so whenever someone tries to talk you out
just please know
even if you don't care much either way
you're killing me inside

i used to love me, too. but i've been dead for a long time.
that is true
yes
that is very true
i doubt that
you can live without me.

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423098)
i don't care whether it does or not
my body is sh*t anyways
and doomed
and i don't care
about my health anymore
about my body anymore
about my mentality anymore
about me anymore
i don't care at all
there's no point
i am not skinny
i'm already afraid of me
why shouldn't you be?
no one should care about me
it would make
dying
easier
.

who cares if you aren't skinny?
you are you, and you are beautiful

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 423118)
who cares if you aren't skinny?
you are you, and you are beautiful

EDIT:

I think that feeling the way you do is just part of teenage hood. It is part of growing up.
You should learn to accept your body the way it is.

*QUOTES SCIENCE TEACHER*
It can also be part of your genes.
*END QUOTE*

So, yeah.
That's what Iz Thinkz

HeatherB 02-13-2013 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 423120)
EDIT:

I think that feeling the way you do is just part of teenage hood. It is part of growing up.
You should learn to accept your body the way it is.

*QUOTES SCIENCE TEACHER*
It can also be part of your genes.
*END QUOTE*

So, yeah.
That's what Iz Thinkz

What.
Um.
I don't think.
All right then...

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423123)
What.
Um.
I don't think.
All right then...

.............
I don't think I said that right.
Now I shall try again.


Once upon a time....
there was a girl, named Noomuu.
She felt as if she were bulging with fat.
You know what she did?
She went to the gym.
She did crunches.
She did pull ups.
When she was done, she felt slightly better than before.
Yet, she still neglected her dinner.
At school, she went to the bathroom.
Also known as throwing up her food.
Some AMAZING girl names BearWithAStrawberry walked in on her.
It was purely accidental.
They talked for a while.
Here's what the epic Strawberry-Digesting-Bear/Girl said.
"Would you rather be slightly chubby, and very much healthy?"
Noomuu replies, "I don't know."
"Or would you rather be skinny and half dead?"
Noomuu replies, "Skinny"
BearWithAStrawberry says, "You need to learn how to accept your body. Here's my advice:
Every day, walk in front of the mirror and say, "I am perfect."
If you absolutely REFUSE to eat, force something down. Preferabbly fruit. Grapes, strawberries, canteloupe et cetera. They are healthy enough and don't make you feel fat. Call it your "Skinny Food"
Drink lots and lots of water. I heard it makes you feel fuller. And it's good for you skin.
When you want to do your *finger magic* stick a piece of gum into your mouth instead."
Noomuu says, "Okay."
She followed BearWithAStrawberry's advice.
She got healthier.
And managed to be just the right weight!!!!!!!!
:D

YAY!!

HeatherB 02-13-2013 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 423129)
.............
I don't think I said that right.
Now I shall try again.


Once upon a time....
there was a girl, named Noomuu.
She felt as if she were bulging with fat.
You know what she did?
She went to the gym.
She did crunches.
She did pull ups.
When she was done, she felt slightly better than before.
Yet, she still neglected her dinner.
At school, she went to the bathroom.
Also known as throwing up her food.
Some AMAZING girl names BearWithAStrawberry walked in on her.
It was purely accidental.
They talked for a while.
Here's what the epic Strawberry-Digesting-Bear/Girl said.
"Would you rather be slightly chubby, and very much healthy?"
Noomuu replies, "I don't know."
"Or would you rather be skinny and half dead?"
Noomuu replies, "Skinny"
BearWithAStrawberry says, "You need to learn how to accept your body. Here's my advice:
Every day, walk in front of the mirror and say, "I am perfect."
If you absolutely REFUSE to eat, force something down. Preferabbly fruit. Grapes, strawberries, canteloupe et cetera. They are healthy enough and don't make you feel fat. Call it your "Skinny Food"
Drink lots and lots of water. I heard it makes you feel fuller. And it's good for you skin.
When you want to do your *finger magic* stick a piece of gum into your mouth instead."
Noomuu says, "Okay."
She followed BearWithAStrawberry's advice.
She got healthier.
And managed to be just the right weight!!!!!!!!
:D

YAY!!

sure. ok. it's that easy.

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 07:24 PM

:confused:
Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423130)
sure. ok. it's that easy.

I'm sorry.
I have never gone through this, and I'm just trying to help in any way I can possibly manage.
Try telling a parent?

HeatherB 02-13-2013 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 423132)
:confused:

I'm sorry.
I have never gone through this, and I'm just trying to help in any way I can possibly manage.
Try telling a parent?

it's fine.
i know.
never.

Lily09 02-13-2013 07:57 PM

BWAS: Look at her previous vents. Her parents don't really understand or care to understand.

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 423149)
BWAS: Look at her previous vents. Her parents don't really understand or care to understand.

Oh!
Whydidn'tI?Iprobablysoundedsofrickindumb.omgomg.*s pazzesout*

Lily09 02-13-2013 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 423151)
Oh!
Whydidn'tI?Iprobablysoundedsofrickindumb.omgomg.*s pazzesout*

It's fine! It was just a mistake. No biggie.

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 423152)
It's fine! It was just a mistake. No biggie.

*le gracefully dances away*

Happily:D

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 08:37 PM

.................................................

BearWithAStrawberry 02-13-2013 08:38 PM

Can I imagine, I waz laughing over the phone an hour ago.


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