...that's normal.

How is your school?

Oh, almost the same.

But was she nice...?

Which reminds me...
You don't seem to have Asperger's.
Both Lily's: Are you okay?
Lily09: Stop being friends with someone doEsnt make you a backstabbing bitch.

So, apparently, I'm nervous when meeting people and bad at making friends according to this mental test we took at school. And there's this after school program which my school wants me to go to.
Funny. I've always thought I was GOOD at making friends. From what I can remember about the test, I said I was worried about not making friends and something about not trusting people enough to confide in them.
I told my friend and she was like 'IN YOUR FACE!'. Well, you used my catchphrase perfectly, didn't you.
And A, you know, it was really nice of you to shout around that I had mental problems.
K and S: You know, it doesn't mean that I never get offended when I don't seem it. There is a thing as concealing your emotions.
I came close to crying at school today.

My classmate once asked me whether I had an IQ of over 130. No idea.
Because a teacher came to our classroom and told us (me and my classmate) that we'd been invited to join an after school program for people who have different seams aspects of certain things like making friends. I don't know why I was so disappointed; maybe because I thought I was pretty good at making friends and that if I had any problem it wouldn't be that. AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO AN EFFING AFTERSCHOOL PROGRAM. I felt weirdly like crying when my friends joked that, 'LAUREN IS CRAZY!' because that test was for emotional and mental disorders.

Well, Alma's knowledge of these matters is narrow.
I don't know. The teacher just said I was bad at making friends in new places. According to the results of an emotional/mental disorder test we did at school.
Which is pretty weird because I was sure that I'd have antisocial personality disorder if I had any.
Kind to everyone?

How can she pick that up in a first meeting?!
You don't seem particularly unkind. If you manage to stuff a snarky comment everywhere and everyone gets offended, well, it's probably your classmates' problem.

But you still have friends. There's no definition of 'enough' friends.
I hate the sound of my nails scratching my drawer.

They do tend to be a bit innaccurate - counsellors I mean. Some of them actually tell people with it to 'get over' some of their issues.

I know the sounds thing! I have that sometimes. It's, unsurprisingly, commonly associated with a certain autistic spectrum disorder.

today was better
i still feel crappy, though.

At least it's a bit better now, hey? ^_^
*hugs*

Am I okay? Are you kidding me? No, of course I'm not okay. My entire existence isn't even okay.

....yeah........

Being jealous doesn't make you a bitch. It's okay to be jealous or angry at your friends, friendships aren't perfect and nor are people. You are doing amazingly, Lilith.

You are not a backstabber or a bitch. You are an awesome amazing person and you don't deserve to be called anything less.

You're doing so well. You can do this. You are amazing and awesome and so strong.

You can do whatever the fuck you like just as much as anyone. It might be more difficult, but you can. And if we don't end up living like that, we'll just go on long road trips and visit each other a lot, wherever we all end up living. You can get published. You are an epic writer and your poems and stories are amazing and you are completely capable of getting published.

you told me to go die.

fine, i will.

i guess you wont be seeing me at school tommorow.

don't.
they're a complete asshole for saying that. Be rebellious and keep living, even if it's only to say "EFF YOU!" to them.
*hugs*

I WANNA SMASH SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS CLASS THIS VIDEO IS PISSING ME OFF
ugh

does it help that S has my number and texts me to die every 30 minutes?

Who the fuck is she, tell her to fuck off, and go tell a teacher, that's bullying and she can and will be in deep shit.

Tell a guidance counsellor or something. S could get in trouble for that, or at least I hope… and do not look at those effing messages. They're stupid and cruel and just… wrong. You shouldn't die. *hugs*
you should listen to the opinion of awesome people, like those on KP, instead of a messed up asshole like S.

i am so dumb

how could i have not realized that i could block S?

omfg my life just got, liek, 2x better.

i hope she do

But keep the messages as proof and tell an adult, please, or the harassment won't stop.

Like everyone says, TELL SOMEONE. Seriously. She could get arrested for that, or at the very least, get detention/suspended/whatever the punishment is in your school.

well, you guys know my name, and if i say the name, there is a slight possibility that she is on KP (she likes to write, okey?) and her tiny brain might make the connection

Yes! Do that. But, like Lily said, keep the messages. Show them to an adult.

if she does go on KP we will scream at her for you. :P

i'm going to attempt to eat dinner and watch SPN
probs going to hate myself more and want to vomit (i already kind of do) but ehhh
SPN PARTEHHH

Just try to focus on eating. <:^J

I can't, really. And I'm not sure how much that would help, since it doesn't seem to just be me hating myself/food anymore…

I'll respond to the other comments later...
BUT HAPPINESS AND RAINBOWS! EPGY HERE I COME!
I got accepted into the EPGY Summer institutes for writing. :D

Well, then, whatever it is...you still need to eat. You'll feel better (at least physically) once you eat. You can't expect to feel better emotionally/mentally if you're not well physically. Don't think about the food as you eat, just focus on the action of it. Using silverware and chewing. If you feel sick, don't think about the taste of the food. Distract yourself somehow. (Counting helps me, when I get like that. Find something in the room and count it as you eat. Or just focus on the TV. List what you see on it in your head. Maybe that will be enough to distract yourself if you feel sick.)

It doesn't make me feel better physically (or emotionally). It upsets my stomach, makes me feel like vomiting and like making myself vomit
I might end up eating though.....

don't quote this post, I'm going to delete it...

What kind of food is served around your house most often? Anything particularly high in fat or salt? Anything very greasy or with lots of dairy-based ingredients? When you're stressed, foods like these can easily make you feel nauseous.

I really really hope you eat, Tredom... <:^J


EDIT: Okay, no quote. Don't worry.

I don't even know xP Pizza Hut for dinner tonight thoughhh

i don't deserve to eat.

Ehhh, pizza isn't food. It's a food-like product. Lots of fat and processed ingredients and preservatives. No wonder it makes you sick. Also it has cheese--cheese is dairy and dairy is a real stomach upsetter.

Yes.
You.
Do.
Deserve.
To.
Eat.

What have you ever done in your entire life that could be so horrible that you don't even deserve to eat? LST, you're practically the savior of KP and WB. You've helped everyone--EVERYONE--on this thread at least once, many of us dozens and dozens of times. I can't imagine that couldn't make up for any reason in your mind that would deserve your starving.

You do deserve to eat. So please, please eat...I want you to eat. We all do. If you don't eat the pizza, then have some bread or something. Anything.

Ehhhh stomach be nice to me. :c

Are you alright? Stomach bug or something?

Eh, I'm not sure but it's grumbling and I have had enough food to last me up to this time but it's still hurting. Hence the reason I am staying home today. (And missing our first English lesson that has to do with our book we are reading... ;-; I hate you, stomach.)

Aw, I'm sorry, Max. <:^/ That's certainly no fun. I'm sorry you're missing the English lesson, too. Just try to not stress out about it--stress can make your stomach hurt worse.