thank you so much ily

i think im gonna tell my parents how i feel bc my sister has anxiety and depression and she'll be able to help me (she's a doctor too)

a girl told me that i should hang myself and i said probably and she just looked at me like !111?!? I SAID IT BY ACCIDEnt oops

im wearing a jumper and fuck it's hot. edit: i took the jumper off and bc so HOT and i was hiding my arm like ALL lesson (before i put it back on) and i accidentally put my hand up and i heard a whisper then i remembered ugh

laurel, i know im not going to need it but what's therapy like? for you i mean

edit 2: how do i tell them how does this work off 2 google i go!!!

edit 3: thanks google i 'just need 2 tell them' fuq u
edit 4: actually im super pissed right this is what happened. i was in drama with my best friend and a girl that bullies me occasionally in a group and we were working on performing tongue twister with pace and making it into a little scene and i messed up a line (tbh i got the hardest one.)
and im like 'ugh i should' (was about 2 say do that again)
and she just butts in and says hang yourself?
and im like hjhfkhjkghjkgfhkjdf just when i don't fukkin need this when im triggered most ugh so i said probably
I MEANT IT 2 BE A MUTTER FUCK
and then she says 'lol jokes'
and im like U DARE

should i go to my year level co ordinator about this bc that's really not on tbh

idk for me it's a lot of crying and emotional distress but thats just me i mean idk if thats how it's supposed to be or whatever
sorry this wasn't very helpful
i'm glad i was able to help you *hugs back*

no no it's ok sorry i shouldn't have asked u that's a rude question im sorry

So I re-read the chapters before Tris's death, at Tris's death, and after Tris's death to see if now after a while I would have a different reaction. I was so sad and devastated for her, for Tobias. She was only 16 guys! And she made the sacrifice for her older brother, she is such a good sibling, but now Caleb doesn't have her anymore, because she is dead. She was so young, but she is dead now and that is so stupid.

And I have a strong feeling now that I think about it that Jace will die in City of Heavenly fire, though think about it. If Sebastian were to turn good Clary could have a normal brother, mother, father, and even if Jocelyn and Luke were to have a child, another sibling. Plus she has Simon, Iz, and more people in her life to love her. I think that Jace will die. And I really don't want him to. THough I would rather Jace die then Iz or Simon. It already killed me when Max died. I don't care if Alec dies tho. But Jace, and Izzy. Jordan! Jordan probably will die! I don't like thinking about this! STOP IT! STOP IT!

no, it's fine. don't worry about it, kay? it was a perfectly reasonable question to ask--and i've been asked the same thing on here before multiple times, so it's not like you're the first.

ok ok ok im still sorry though

it's okay, hon. it's not a big deal.

what??
thank you c:
nO no ok if you're thinking like this it is perfectly ok to put yourself before others and have some time out ok

I have some things to say. Bare with me.
Okay so I just finished Divergent and I'm kind of dying and crying and I can't wait to start the next one tomorrow. Udjdnebdb mixed emotions.
Next topic. I started health class today. And in fifth grade, you learn all about the adventures of motherfking puberty and all that shit and it was going fine and stuff and I was like, maybe these bitches are actually mature enough to not laugh at this stuff and be bitchy, but they proved me wrong amd ugh I just hate fifth graders so much okay. So immature and rude and fjjfdndkx.
On another note about health class, it is so fricking stupid that they separate boys and girls in my class. Like I heard boys in my class having a debate today over whether vagina was a bad word. THEY HAVE NO CLUE OKAY THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIRLS STUFF AND WE NEED TO LEARN ABOUT BOYS STUFF M'KAY.
Last topic I promise you. There's this guy that is such a fking douche okay. Every time he opens his mouth he pisses me off. Talking about how girls are so "helpless, and stupid, and can't amount to anything" and making fun of gay people and just being such a dickhead. His locker is next to mine and a few days ago while I was getting my stuff he was talking to his friend at his locker but I wasn't listening and his friend goes "Camille you didn't hear what he just said did you?"
Me: "no. Why?"
Dicky McDickhead: "good. Imagine me explaining that one to the principal."
Me: "you know what? I don't even want to know what you said, k?"
Friend of Dicky McDickhead: "Man, Camille is so quiet. I've never heard her speak."
Me: *slams locker* *storms off* *hears laughing*
UGH I HATE THEM SO MUCH THE LITTLE ASSHOLES.

...okay looking over this post I sound incredibly bitchy and annoying so I apologize. Sorry sorry sorry.

hey it's perfectly okay to be a little selfish sometimes it's perfectly okay to want to protect yourself and you need to learn to love yourself for whoever you decide to become mmkay because you're wonderful and deserve happiness
(*gives cookies*)

tbh i dont think that putting yourself before others sometimes is selfish?? or maybe im just selfish all the time ahhhhah probably

so i sent an email to the coordinator and she's like 'sorry u had a bad experience in drama with (name here) i will find a good time on monday morning 2 speak 2 u' except with proper punctuation grammar and words im in hurry ok

so this should be interesting

idk i'm just a conflicted soul but you and Lena are probably right
it is good to put yourself before others but it's also really hard for me to accept that about myself i think ??

oh and that sounds good with the coordinator-- good luck! c:

I seriously though they should teach us about boys and girls puberty in health class, too. Some of the teachers kept on switching rooms and mentioning the boys, but we never actually knew what they were talking about.

And, yeah, I have finally come to the conclusion that 5th grade is the most awkward year for anyone EVER. For me, for other kids, for my siblings, EVERYONE. 5th grade. I'm warning you 4th graders.

Sexism is a stupid barrier.
Excuse you, men. Without us, you would not exist.
Excuse you, men. You have a very easy target in the area of your crotch, and I will be happy to kick that target.
Excuse you, men. Stay in the kitchen? FINE, COS THAT'S WHERE THE FUCKING KNIVES ARE.
Excuse you, men. Tell me, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WOMEN ARE FUCKING INFERIOR IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE?!
But what pisses me off more than men being sexist is girls just giving in to the stereotypes of women. They're like "yeah they're right they are superior" "yeah we aren't strong leave the work to men"
HAVE YOU NO PRIDE, BITCHES?! While it is true that my own pride is excessive, what is one to do with none of it? Lie down like a pet, like a toy, like a slave, and accept it? Accept that so-called men (personally I think they're just a bunch of little boys) are supposedly superior? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.
But I do know how to use it to my "advantage". Today, me and my friends DQ (lol I just realized his initials are like Dairy Queen) and L took a walk through the park behind school and we had three backpacks plus extra baggage and I got them to carry it. Of course, they're like my besties so they aren't sexist to me, but still. ;)

Also, as for making fun of gay people, I HATE THAT PEOPLE FUCKING DO THAT. I fully support gay rights simply because IT'S NONE OF MY DAMN BUSINESS HOW PEOPLE WANT TO LIVE AND WHO THEY FUCKING WANT TO LOVE.
GENDER DOESN'T MATTER, AGE DOESN'T MATTER. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, YOU LOVE SOMEONE. Not that I have experience with love, so I don't really know why I'm acting like an expert... Perhaps it's just wisdom.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER THING.
MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE REALLY IS ANYMORE.
ALL THEY WANT IS TO FUCK EACH OTHER AND SHIT LIKE THAT.
THEY DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND ANYMORE, THEY JUST WANT A FUCKING MAKE-OUT PARTNER.
THEY DON'T CALL PEOPLE BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE, THEY CALL THEM HOT OR SEXY. THEIR. FEELINGS. ARE. SHALLOW.


That is all. I apologize for the disturbance.

THANK YOU!! this is exactly what we need. Women and men are not yet equal, no matter what men claim and we need to end sexism. And as for homophobia it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. Homosexuality isn't a 'mortal sin' it is just the love of someone who happens to be the same gender as you!

this .
(*applauds*)

eww i know what this feels like i'm so sorry (*hugs*) :c
well you can also blame it on hormones they screw everything up like seriously

they teach everyone everything in the same room here, and we all had to work on each system

thank you *hugs back* and yeah hormones suck

I agree 100% with everything you just said.

Everyone needs to read this post.

i sent that email late and!! i didn't!!! read!!!! IT!!!!! OVER!!!!!!!!

AHHHHH

I wish there wasn't anything wrong with being an extreme, overstimulated introvert

1) god i point this out a lot, and i don't mean to derail the conversation, but trans women do exist. trans men also exist. please don't equate dicks to men and vaginas to women.

2) friendly reminder not to call women bitches! it's not their fault that they have internal misogyny, it's the patriarchy, so please don't blame women! I know OP might not have meant it like that, but its still important to keep in mind. also calling another woman a bitch makes it easier for men to think its okay!

3) while love is important, this kind of mindset can lead to slut shaming which can further harm women. also, aromantic people exist! however, i'm not aromantic or asexual so if anyone who is aromantic or asexual wants me to remove this i will.

i agree with the majority of this post; and if anyone wants to correct me or point out anything in this post, please do.

<3 u always point out good things that i usually miss thank

thanks! o ya whats ur tumblr again?

i agree thanks for pointing this out, i was going to quote this post earlier saying good job (which she did do a good job on most of it) but i knew there were probably a few things off so thanks for that

one more thing i'd like to point out in this part (aside from what elliot already said, which again, i applaud him on saying)
although some people have this mindset i wouldn't say it's the majority of people (or even a lot of people tbh)
it's generally just what's portrayed in the media/TV shows, which can be accurate from time to time, but not always
soooo basically what i'm saying is not to assume things about people like this as a majority okay but this was actually a v good post otherwise so great job on that

I didn't quote SilverMoon's quote mainly because I read it on this page from other people's responses but I'd just like to say that I agree with you. But it goes both ways. Women need to spot using sexism as an excuse to get what they want and start bucking up and fighting because they know they are strong. But if any boy comes up to you and tells you that you are inferior or weak just because you are a girl, you should feel happy to point out the female scientists that changed their lives and are curing illnesses everyday. You should feel happy to point out that female teaches every day are changing a child's life- are making the next generation better one life at a time. And if all else fails, there are two ways to make them stop:
1.) if they make a sexist joke, look them dead in the eye and say 'I don't get it, can you explain it?'
2.) Tell them that it was a hilarious joke or an interesting statement and you'll be sure to mention it to their mum or girlfriend next time you see them.

As for love, I think we are too busy worrying about what society thinks of us and the person we want to be with that we forget to actually love them. And maybe we should quite reading John Green novels, thinking that we're going to meet someone talking about oblivion and then live happily ever after- or live a supposedly perfect short life, and focus on the fact that the person we are going to be with will be imperfect but that doesn't matter because you should only be with a person that you love enough to look past their flaws and be willing to accept their flaws and be happy with who they are. You should only be with someone who treats you like their queen or king and you should never settle for anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You need to realise that even though you are imperfect, you are beautiful. And someone will see that in you and love you for it, even if you don't love yourself. People say you need to love yourself in order for someone else to love you. You don't. You just need to be aware that if someone loves you, they love all of you an there's very little you can do to show you that you are a terrible person.

And that person will come. I promise.

And you if you are in a relationship, be it romantic or friendly, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself or forcing you to do something you find uncomfortable, you need to get the hell out. It might be hard, but eventually you will find people who make you happy and special and important and they won't leave your side.

I agree with this and what elliot said but I'm too lazy to quote both.
Also, evasong you brought up some interesting points, too.

I'm not really good at writing points like this but I am reading everyone's contributions bc I have always felt really strongly about sexism.

But people there's also sexism against guys. I'm not really the best person to speak up for it but I have heard the phrases "be a man" "a real man would…" "man up" "boys don't cry" etc. and I have seen the pictures in the media where guys are strong and muscular and controlling
Really society is just messed up with everything that it tells you to be for all genders. You go to a big shopping store or something and go to the toy aisle. The section labeled "girls" will most likely be filled with pink and princesses and stuff to play "house" with. You go to the aisle labeled "boys" and you'll most likely find dark colors and blue and action figures and stuff to build with and control toys.
I was with my mom and we were shopping for a present for my little cousin. I suggested Legos and when we ask the saleslady she directs us to them. I mentioned something that indicated my cousin was a girl and the saleslady said, "oh, if your shopping for a girl we have pink Legos over there"

idk where any of that is going but all genders have stereotypes and there's a lot of institutionalized sexism to worry about too and it's just wrong in my opinion

(*whispers*)
i just want to mention that it's also perfectly okay to fit into gender stereotypes. i've been made fun of a lot in my life for being "girly" and "nonathletic" and "ditzy" and as much as i'm all for feminism, people categorize it completely differently than the statement that it was originally meant to be and that's pretty screwed up. i, personally, have a firm belief that sexism against all and any genders need to fucking stop because people grow up to be who they are and that's okay, no matter which way it goes. but we have a lot of stereotypes in the way of that and it prevents so many people from being who they are. i once had a friend that told me that she wished she was confident enough to wear girly clothes, and this was a really quite popular girl who dressed in sweats and t-shirts most of the time (which is perfectly okay too) and it made me really sad because girly girls are immediately cast off as weak and irrelevant in our society and some women that wish to dress that way aren't really allowed to for fear of being seen that way.
and it goes the same for all genders. there are so many expectations that we want to defy but can't be ourselves if we're defying them.

i totally agree it is okay to fit stereotypes you can be whoever you want to be but when someone takes a stereotype and says either "you should be more like this" or criticizes you for being that way that's not okay
good point c:

yes yes i absolutely agree with that i'm just saying that no one, ever, should say that anyone of any gender has to be a certain way for the sake of rebellion or for the sake of fitting in, which i hear a lot of in my life in general, so i just wanted to say it's okay to be who you are, no matter what stereotypes are based around you c:

I agree 83147891203713289%. When I was younger, like in second/third grade, I had a secret little streak of girliness, but I used to purposefully avoid all "girly things" and try way too hard at sports (even though I wasn't that athletic back then) just so people wouldn't compare me to a stereotypical girl. They ended up doing the opposite and asking, "Why don't you own any pink clothing?" or "Every girl needs a stuffed teddy bear, Meera, so where's yours?" So in fourth to fifth grade, I became overly girly and did my hair every thirty seconds and got a million Barbies, etc. I was teased for that too, and it just didn't feel right to act that way. So now I'm just somewhere in the middle, trying not to care about conforming to other people's expectations, and even though people have frequently told me to become "one or the other" already, I'm probably not going to go back to that because it seriously never felt right.
I just wanted to put in my opinion. :)

Well, whatever, no use ranting over useless things, I don't really care anyways. I hate genders equally. Bai bai.

one last thing
if youre speaking about equality for ALL genders (i think someone said) this conversation seems kinda binarist cause nonbinary people too
but i guess ignore me if its not
and silvermoon, you seem a lil upset?? we werent disagreeing with you, we just wanted to add some things.

(btw this doesn't relate to the current conversation jsyk)

NO NO NO STAHP
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE CONDESCENDING TO ME
I HATE IT SO MUCH
NO
AND AS BAD AS THAT IS GETTING PITY
DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING PITY ME
I DON'T NEED IT THERE IS NOTHING I NEED YOUR SO CALLED SYMPATHY FOR
I'M FINE ON MY OWN THANKS I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE
YOU DON'T LIKE ME I DON'T LIKE YOU WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PITYING ME
MY PRIDE SAYS NO
I SAY NO
NO
JUST
GO AWAY

and on another note,
YO
YOU, YEAH YOU
CHIC FROM HISTORY
YOU
YEAH
YES, I CALLED YOU A BITCH
YES, I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
YES, I MEANT IT
WHAT WAS WITH ALL THOSE WEIRD-EMOTION-I-CAN'T-DESCRIBE LOOKS
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE, APPALLED
WELL I'M SORRY IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS A NICE PERSON
I AM NOT
STOP IT. STOP ACTING LIKE I'M SOME LITTLE KID THAT REPEATED A CUSS WORD THEY HEARD FROM THEIR DADDY.
LOOK, I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING AND YOU ARE THEREFORE I SAID SO.
haha nope there's no jealous bitchiness and abandonment issues and pride and envy involved

Also, THANKS FOR MAKING A BREACH IN THAT SEAL.
SERIOUSLY MAN I LOCKED UP MY GODDAMN "DARK SIDE" FOR A REASON
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY IT HAPPENED PROBABLY JUST NEGATIVE ACCUMULATION BUT
SERIOUSLY I SNAPPED AND I JUST
IT MADE ME FEEL PHYSICALLY SICK AND I DID NOT RECOVER UNTIL LIKE LUNCH AND IT FELT SO AWFUL AND I FELT UNSTABLE FOR A WHILE AFTER
But the end of yesterday was beautiful thank you DQ and L <3
That was a lot of fun

i
 

I keep writing poems in an attempt to kickstart my writing ability but (a) I know someone will think I'm aiming the poems at them and it's like noOooOoO don't even rEAD MY WRITING ANYMORE PLEASE IT'S NOT FOR YOU ANYWAY, and (b) the poems keep coming out uber emotional and personal and idk if I'm able to share them since my trust issues kinda got 50,000,000% worse, and (c) I suck at poetry, but I still desperately feel like I need to be heard and I want to share my poems with people.

.-.

Okay, new rule. If you're in my actual day-to-day life off the computer, there is a 99.999999999999% chance I am NOT OKAY with you reading my writing, so, you need permission to read it. In fact, don't even MENTION my writing. If you do I will completely shut down emotionally for about a day and will loathe myself for a week. I have no idea why. But, just, don't frigging mention my writing, okay? .______.