I ban Jesse for breathing in the wrong direction in an improper manner.

I ban LST for predicting the future. *blows in wrong direction*

I ban Jesse for desolating a small city in northwest Georgia.

I ban LST for using an oxymoron in his post.

I ban Jesse for not understanding it was relative and phantasmagorically eidolic.

I ban LST for using big words.

I ban Jesse for thinking they were big words when they were, unfortunately, not words. :p
(Phantasmagoria and eidolon, Y U NO HAVE ADVERB FORMS?)

I ban LST for not noticing the fact that a racoon is staring intently through his window, wide-eyed, eating a turquoise banana.

I ban Jesse for saying turquoise.

I ban LST for knowing my name.