After spending an hour and trying ten different ways to fix Adobe Flash Player, I somehow ended up right back where I started in the beginning. When I realized this, I said this to my computer:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6...mo1_r1_250.gif
(Thank you, Spiderman, for putting that so eloquently. :3)

Technology hates me.



._.



I want to do this SO much...

http://media.tumblr.com/77f529e6831b...bkE1s5jeop.gif

But I won't. Because I'm trying not to be such an angry person.

:|

I am going
to go listen
to some music
maybe drink some hot tea
and try not to flip out.
Because THIS on top of all my current issues is very quickly starting to push me over my limit. And that would be bad. Also, I should have more self-control than to physically beat my computer, even though I want to.

*deep breath*
*walks away*

Don't thank me...just feel better. *hugs*

Would cuteness make you feel better? Help you relax/loosen up, maybe? I have lots of cute pictures and GIFs.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj...kh6fo1_500.gif

http://25.media.tumblr.com/7f952df7d...ahw0o1_250.gif

http://31.media.tumblr.com/096e428af...0mkdo1_500.jpg

D: I'm sorry, Bridie...stress is terrible. *gives you a cookie* Playing piano is a very impressive talent, though. ^_^ I hope you enjoy it apart from the exams. Homework is downright evil, though. .__. And I'm really sorry your grandma is sick!!! O_O I hope she'll be okay. (One of my relatives is really sick right now, too...I know how you feel...)

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8go69vtLf1r50mmk.gif

*pats everyone on the back who's feeling upset* It will all be okay.

Bye for now, Heather!!!!! *hugs you* I really do hope things get better for you. <:^D Try to rest up and take things easy, okay? We all love you and are rooting for you.

I have no friends because I'm boring at school because I have no friends because I'm boring at school. Do you see my issue?
I'm just really tired of watching everyone else have this one friend that they inseparable with. I had that a couple times. But I managed to screw it up every single time. It's almost like I have commitment issues. It's like I look at everyone with that one friend and one side of me is thinking, "Wow. I'd love to have that." and the other is like, "But then you'd be committed to one person and you'd have to be nice even if they were being annoying and you'd have to talk and maybe deal with their friends and..."
I just want one friend that is so overwhelmingly awesome that I can't handle it. Maybe this person would like Glee, or Doctor Who, or Harry Potter and we could fangirl together.
I just want someone.

Basically my life right now. I just started high school and I have no friends. I'm shy and am awkward around people. You're not alone!! *hugs* Maybe just try putting yourself out there? It's hard I know, I can't do it. I have the worst advice lol. Just know it will get better! Maybe meet some people outside of school? I joined a book club...it's fun and it's a start to meeting new people. I Hope your situation gets better!!! :)

Thanks. :)
I actually just started middle school.
I shy and awkward at school, but any where else I'm the total opposite. I don't want to hide who I am.

To quote my favorite person in the whole world:
"For me, it was a choice. It was ‘am I going to be honest with myself?’ or ‘am I going to be a prisoner to myself and always have to hold myself back from saying things freely?’ and I didn’t want to be in that prison, so I chose the opposite."
-Chris Colfer

I have numerous acquaintances in my year, a few semi-friends who I hang around with, but my best friend is in the year below. And my other friends are either imaginary or online.

hey, so, anyways, apparently it was all for naught and i'm getting a new therapist and psychiatrist because they apparently behaved inappropriately and inaccurately and i don't need to be hospitalized.
thank god.
but yeah, thank you guys for all the well wishes and everything, and i'll try to keep them in mind as i wander around this screwed up world inside my head and attempt to sort things out with others and with myself. i have all the relationship problems i can handle at the moment (no, nothing romantic, hah) and i think also that i've been drifting from kp so yeah you'll probably be seeing even less of me around here. it's not goodbye, just more detachment.
the hospital, for those of you wondering, really wouldn't've been good for me. it would've taken me away from everything that i knew and put me in an environment that, had i been admitted, would have been unhealthy and exposed me to a lot more shit than i can deal with at the moment. things only really started going downwards for me once hospitalization was brought up, anyways, and being in the er and seeing people much worse off than me would've only brought on a new onslaught of stress. so, like i said, it wouldn't have done any good. but thank you for all the encouragement and whatnot. i do love you guys.

hey btw your signature is fucking awesome (:
also i neglected to mention that i'm getting put on meds starting in a few weeks. yay.

Thanks! :)

i feel stressed.
I know so many people on kidpub have way worse problems than i do. But i just feel so bad.
I mean, i have a great life. I have friends and a really caring family, but lately i've been getting anxious and stressed for practically no reason at all.
People expect a certain version of me and so i try my best to be that person but inside i feel like i'm breaking into pieces. Sometimes i'll be fine and then something tiny happens and i fell worthless and miserable.
I hate moodswings. It doesn't help that i have insomnia.

thanks. :)
it's good to just tell someone, even if i don't know them.

One of my worse moments in life, methinks.

I was writing at break, as you do, one of my better pieces, about a schizophrenic boy accused of murder. Very interesting. But - well - I continued this on the way to my lesson. Where, when I arrived, was mid-sentence.

The events that followed led to my having my notebook confiscated for the rest of the day and also having a slight breakdown. For two hours or so I was in tears because I was in serious trouble, for being verbally aggressive and apparently physically threatening.

I panicked, okay? People aren't allowed to touch my specific notebooks without express permission. It was horrible, almost painful. It was awful.

And thus, it has come to pass, that if ever a teacher sees a notebook of mine outside of my bag in class, they shall steal it - oh, sorry, 'confiscate' it. I do not normally take notebooks, and I do believe I can never do so again. Because I ruined it again. Life, my friends, is a bitch, and just when we think we're getting ahead of her, she bites back as cruelly as possible.

Thank God for counsellor appointments.

That's horrible. Why would someone take it away? Did they give a reason?

I really hope you can still have time to write in school.

i tried to unscrew the blades from my sharpener this morning then felt sick and put it back in my pencilcase.
i've never cut before and never wanted to but now i keep thinking about it.
help.

Nope.

You are worth not harming yourself. Trust me. Even if you don't believe it, look in a mirror and convince yourself that you are.

Throw them away if you have to. Just please don't start. (:

Please don't start <\3 It's a horrible horrible habit to get into. Whatever you feel is wrong in your life, think of the happy things that overcome it. Throw away that pencil sharpener if you have to, maybe get mechanical pencils instead. Just please don't start..... if you ever need to talk KP is here for you c:

i'll try not to.
i'm scared though.

Don't. I'm still living in constant fear of someone discovering the scars. There's almost no way to hide them and it's generally horrible.

thank you for your help, guys.

I cannot even BEGIN to describe my anger and frustration. Why in the name of sanity are all my plans falling apart????

._.

...Do you ever wish your month/week/day/life had a restart button, like your computer? That way, all the little stupid things that don't work can get fixed and you can have the chance to do other things over again. That would be extremely helpful.

What if you make other mistakes in your restarted month/week/day/life?

Fugging hell volleyball is a struggle.
I will not WILL NOT I SAY be on jvc again next year
I will seriously sell my soul if it will get me into JV

Mistakes are to be expected, but, if there are too many, I'd just restart it again. XD I dunno. This isn't supposed to be logical, this is just how I feel at the moment, y'know? :P

mama we all go to hell

She asked three times.

It was confiscated.

But it's one of my things (by things I mean idiosyncrasies) that no one can touch my special notebooks without permission. I don't even like my parents going through my school work, so how do they think I feel having something this important taken away?

i'm writing this letter
and wishing you well

why the hell is my sister the one that gets to stay home when I'm the one that's had cramps all day yesterday and this morning? Guys when I have to deal with this shit for a week straight every month I don't think I can handle it.

i've got a special talent for feeling bad about myself
<:')
haha

dont feel bad about yourself you're awesome *hugs*

D: *glomps* That's not a talent...you're talented in LOTS of good ways, though. You're awesome. Don't feel bad.

If you wanna talk, I'm here.... <:^)

too lazy for the shift key
 

jshdjah... thank you, isaac...

thanks... <:^J

haha,,, i'm not sure why i always feel bad. for the past three days i've been convinced that my mom doesn't want me to live in the same house and that she just wants to be done with me and doesn't care about me whatsoever and i finally asked her if she still considered me her daughter and i, haha, i feel even worse now even though she assured me i was very wrong
:')
i feel like my questions are so out of context to the people i ask them to
i just... it seemed possible, that my mom didn't care about me. i mean, she was always my "last resort" i guess? like, even if everyone hated me, i could always tell myself that my mom would still be there for me but now i'm still convinced that she doesn't want anything to do with me on top of everything else hahahah wow woow tears pls no

jdhjhdjhj... .sorry for babbling, i promise my thoughts and i are more organized and put-together than ... . *gestures above* this blubbering.
:'I

i know how you feel, with being convinced your mom wants nothing to do with you *hugs* but hey she said she still considers you her daughter and if she doesnt want anything to do with you she's stupid because you are amazing and kind and wonderful and so so talented.
i'll never hate you, i promise. i'm here for you too. *hugs*

she keeps telling me i'm wrong, but. i don't know. I think the problem is, as usual, mostly me. i'm more or less convinced that i'm totally worthless to everyone i admire or care about in my life, so i dunno, it seemed to make sense that she, like a lot of other people, probably would have been better off without me sitting around and bringing people down. i really wish i could have more self-worth for other people's sake because apparently it bothers my mom that she can't really do anything to help me... . hughughhhhghh i wish i wasn't like this, i really, truly do and i don't know what i can even do about it. i just automatically assume that people hate me and that i'm a huge, unnecessary screwup in a sea of other people who i admire, who are amazing and perfect and wonderful to be around. and then there's me.
thank you a lot though, isaac. that means a lot, man

wow i can relate bunches *huggles* i know how hard it is, but tell yourself that she's telling the truth, okay? even if it sounds like total bullshit, keep telling yourself that.
*glares* do i have to start spamming you with reminders of how awesome you are.
noo i wouldn't be better off if you werent here. i'm really glad i've had the chance to know you (even though we havent talked as much lately which really sucks). i wish you werent like this either but for your own sake. *hugs*

deleted the rant because i dont even care anymore. but now im going to rant again sigh.
i really just don't want to live anymore. my parents are constantly stressed out and my mom wants to quit her job and she almost got hit by a car and she gets more stressed every day and i only add to that. my dad is the same but somehow worse. maybe because the hospital was a wakeup call that hey, as if you arent suffocating your daughter enough, maybe you should do it more. and i'm literally just adding to everyone's stress, unable to cope with anything, not able to do anything productive, just sitting around and like i said before being a general waste of space.
maybe the hospital, as much as i really really really didnt want to go there, would've helped.
i can't commit suicide. again, it's by obligation to other people than centered around what i'd prefer. my doctor basically said that she didnt think i needed to go the hospital and would take LIABILITY for it. do you know what that means? if i fuck up, my parents could sue her. her job could be over. she has three kids and one of them is like five. i cannot do that.
also there's the fact that i have nothing to commit suicide with and even if i wasnt lazy for one second and just got up off my ass i dont know if i'd be brave enough to do it.
anyways, i probably need help and a hospital or something would probably do that, but i cant do that either. same reason as the first one for not committing suicide. i cannot fuck up my life anymore than it already is, at least, not willingly.
tl;dr im a whiny bitch who can't get over anything. hey, what else is new?

Psst
What's all that about suspension?
My friend cut twice.
She threw away her cutter.
It was very strong of her to do that and very hard, so don't even take one step into that.
*hugs8
I have hiruscar...maybe you can buy that? They make the scars fade.
I'm going to be really mean and discourage your talent.

alright. i've been trying really hard just to keep telling myself that maybe other people look at me the same way i look at them, instead of how i look at myself (if that makes sense? pfff =_=)
the feelings are mutual though, man. although we don't talk 24/7, i'm really glad when i do get to talk to you, and just about everything about you (i think) is either insanely awesome or just wonderful, and i'm still in disbelief that people like you actually care about my problems aaaaahh 8'I
thank you so much

Aaa, thank you... ( 　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ) i'm trying my best to discourage it too